Charlie(mind) 3: Oh my Fucking Shit.

Divorced, Beheaded and Died

Anne Boleyn had hounded the group of seven into an ornate but spacious horse-drawn carriage, big enough for even Charlie to fit into, and they now all sat in silence listening to the horse's hooves clatter as they were carted away to an unknown location. "Ok, I've fucking had enough, where the fuck are you taking us you medieval whore?!" Pyramid Head snapped. "Have you been spoken to?" Anne Boleyn asked, and Pyramid Head's pyramid tilted to the side in bewilderment as he replied, "No??"
"Then why are you speaking?" Anne asked again with a smile. "Listen, I think he's just trying to figure out if we're being taken to a royal ball or kidnapped to be tortured in the tower of London." Charlie cut in. "I'm a lady, do you think I just go around kidnapping people?!" Anne snapped back. "Oh yeah, then why is there a questionably gendered guard pointing a fucking gun at us?!!" Pyramid Head shouted, gesturing to a royal guard in classic 18th century makeup. "To make sure you don't try to escape." Anne replied. "Where are we going?" Gonzo asked excitedly, sticking his head out the window. "My question exactly." Pyramid Head stated bluntly. "To pay a visit to queen Elizabeth." Anne replied. "The second?! I thought she fucking died?!!" Pyramid Head shouted. "No, the first." Anne explained irritably. "How- have we gone back in time?!!" Pyramid Head yelled. "Geometry face," Charlie said, "Are you forgetting what universe we're in?"
"Why are we going to see queen Elizabeth?" Endie asked. "Because she has a bone to pick with all of you." Anne replied ominously. "Bone to pick? Get it? Cause I'm a skeleton?" Sans grinned. "SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!" Papyrus howled, covering his nonexistent ears. "What's queen Lizzie got against us?!" Pyramid Head snapped. "You killed her descendent Elizabeth the second at a trial a good few months back, and she wants revenge." Anne explained, getting tired of the nonstop questions. Suddenly, the carriage jerked violently to a halt and everyone fell out their seats. Gru went gelatinating forwards, crashed into Anne Boleyn and completely absorbed her into his grotesque body, the only thing remaining visible when Gru stood being Anne Boleyn's hand clutching at the air from within Gru's bloated form before it was pulled into his body and she disappeared completely from sight. The questionably gendered guard fired his pistol flamboyantly, completely missing, and Pyramid Head jumped up and punched him in the face, knocking him out instantly. "Everyone out!" Charlie instructed, and everyone clambered out of the carriage. As soon as they were out, they saw that the carriage had ran over Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the muppets, who was now tangled horrifically in one of the carriage's wheels. He looked up, gasping for air, and choked out, "Gonzo you malformed asswipe, why don't you stop standing there like a gormless freak and help me?!!" Gonzo grinned at the mangled doctor, his eyes filled with gleeful malice as he replied, "You look like a yellow teletubby except I wouldn't fuck you." With that, Gonzo skipped happily away, leaving Dr. Bunsen Honeydew to suffer in agony until his inevitable demise. Suddenly, the driver of the carriage lumbered off his seat, rocking the entire horse-drawn vehicle, and went waddling up to the charliemind gang, each of his footsteps sending tremors through the earth. "Halt ye devils!! You shall obey the king!!" He shrieked, and everyone exchanged bewildered glances when they realised exactly who stood before them: King Henry the Eighth in a pink frilly dress wielding a lightsaber. "I don't even want to say what that looks like." Sans grinned, pointing to the lightsaber. "What?!!" Henry shouted. "C'mon, have you never read an undertale fanfic?" Sans replied with another grin. "Of course I ha- I-I MEAN-" Henry stammered. "King fucking Henry?! In a dress?!! With a lightsaber?!!! What do you want you fucking whale?!!" Pyramid Head snapped. "DO NOT INSULT THE KING!!!! I SHALL HAVE YOU BEHEADED!!!!" Henry boomed, his face going redder than a BDSM baboon's asscheek. "King Henry with a lightsaber?! What is this, ​Fat Wars with Obese Wan Kenobi?" Sans quipped with a grin. "FUCKING SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCKING FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FUCK AEEEEIIIII!!!!!!!!" Papyrus screamed at the top of his lungs, jumping up and down and punching himself in the skull repeatedly. "Where is Anne, my beheaded undead wife?!" Henry boomed. "Scummy tummy." Gru sneered. "WHAT?!!!" Henry roared. "She's dead you fucking walrus, and she plotted against you with a court musician anyway, now tell us what you fucking want!!" Pyramid Head yelled. "SHE WHAT?!!!" Henry hollered. "SHE PLANNED TO KILL YOU!!!!" Pyramid Head yelled back, and king Henry fell to his knees and cried, "TRAITORESS!!! CORRUPT VIPER IN MY BOSOM!!!"
"Tell me what you want or I'm fucking your latest wife!!" Pyramid Head shouted angrily. "My most recent wife just passed away." Henry snivelled, tearing up. "Good, so I won't have to get her drunk first." Pyramid Head replied flatly. "YE EVIL DEMON!!! I SHALL HAVE YOUR LIMBS DISLOCATED ON THE RACK!!! YES, AND THEN YOU SHALL SUFFER AT THE HANDS OF MY FAVOURITE TORTURE DEVICE, 'THE SCAVENGER'S DAUGHTER'!!!!" Henry howled. "You better hope your wife's tomb is locked." Pyramid Head replied bluntly. "That fat man looks angry." Gonzo noted with a grin. "THAT'S IT!!!!!" Henry shrieked, drawing back his arms and then clapping his hands together. As soon as his hands made contact, everyone was teleported to the tower of London.