Charlie(mind) 3: Oh my Fucking Shit.

Mummified In Bong Water

Once everyone had smoked their entire chorus fizz blunts, coughing violently all the way due to how strong it was, Endie pushed a button near the box of blunts with the words, 'Push to alert staff that chorus fizz has been smoked' written beneath. An enderman's voice came over an intercom and said, "⏁⊑⟒ ⎎⌰⍜⍜⍀ ⍙⟟⌰⌰ ⋏⍜⍙ ⍜⌿⟒⋏ ⟟⋏ ⎎⟟⎐⟒ ⌇⟒☊⍜⋏⎅⌇, ⌿⌰⟒⏃⌇⟒ ⌿⍀⟒⌿⏃⍀⟒ ⊬⍜⎍⍀⌇⟒⌰⎐⟒⌇."
"What did he say?" Pyramid head asked, dizzily looking at his hands. "He said the floors about to open." Endie replied. "My hands look really fucking weird, I think it's already kicking in." Pyramid head added. "I feel funny!" Gonzo grinned, then the entire floor swung open in two halves and the group of five went plummeting down a tube slide painted with trippy purple and black stripes. "I FEEL LIKE I'M IN WILLY WONKA'S FUCKING CHOCOLATE FACTORY!!!!!" Pyramid head yelled as he went shooting through the tunnel slide at extreme velocity. Gonzo vomited all over the tunnel and Endie laughed and said, "Someone can't handle his chorus fizz!"
"Maybe it's the flying through a trippy-ass tunnel at a dizzying speed part that made him hurl!!" Pyramid head shouted back. "WOOOO!!!! The walls are speaking to me!!" Charlie yelled with delirious glee, throwing his many hands up. "How long is this fucking slide?!" Pyramid head shouted, all of them still careening through the twisting, almost vertical tunnel at 100 mph. "About the length of your average waterslide!" Endie shouted back, shuddering at the thought of a waterslide. Gru was shooting through the tube slide so fast that he began sliding up the walls onto the ceiling, smirking clork-prunkingly down at them all. Gonzo had began involuntarily spinning as he slid and now couldn't stop, flying round and round like a tornado and screeching, "MOTHER WARNED ME ABOUT MEN LIKE YOU!!!!"
"I can see every colour!" Endie gasped in wonder as he slid, reaching his hands out to the walls of the tunnel. Then, suddenly, the tunnel opened up and they all flew out the other end into a small room with it's walls, ceiling and floor padded with purple, foam-like material. Pyramid Head's hand sunk into the soft floor and he recoiled yelling, "WE'RE BACK IN THE FUCKING LIVING MALL!!!!"
"No... no we're not." Endie whispered with a smile, caressing Pyramid Head's pyramid. "Don't touch me." Pyramid Head stated flatly. "Hey, there's other people in here! Hey other people!" Charlie shouted with a grin; the other people in question were three other very baked looking endermen, one of whom was wearing a ridiculous rainbow-themed neon emo 2011 fit, Quasimodo AKA the hunchback of Notre Dame and Francoeur the giant singing flea. Gonzo stumbled to his feet and vomited again all over Quasimodo before crashing into a wall and croaking, "Sorry dude...."
"Don't worry, most people have that reaction to me." Quasimodo replied miserably. Francoeur chirped, recognising the charliemind gang, and Charlie jumped and yelled, "FRANC!!! What're you doing here?! I didn't notice you in my chorus-fizz haze."
"FRANK?!!" Pyramid head yelled, looking around frantically for the out-of-ze-picture Frankenstein. "Hey, giant flea guy! I remember you!" The enderman smiled. "Francwhore, what an absolute fucking joy." Pyramid head muttered sarcastically. "Hey, do you know what happened to Bela Lugosi or David Bowie?" Charlie asked. Francoeur shook his head sadly saying, "Nous étions séparés." Suddenly Gonzo yelled, "OFF TO VISIT YOUR MOTHER-" then promptly threw up all over Quasimodo again, had explosive diarrhoea all over one of the walls and then fell to the floor in an unconscious heap. "GOD GONZO, YOU FUCKING STINK!!!!" Pyramid Head yelled, kicking the unconscious Gonzo in the head. Gonzo vomited again, but remained out cold. "You know, I don't just think he's a chorus fizz lightweight, I think he's fucking dying." Endie stated with clear concern. "You're tripping whore, he's fucking fine." Pyramid head snapped, turning to look at Gonzo, who now had a steady stream of blood flowing from his nose. "I'll restore him in a second!" Charlie called as he pulled out a gun similar to the restoration gun, except this one was labeled, 'instant cleaner'. Charlie fired the gun at the wall and Quasimodo, instantly zapping the hellish mess Gonzo had created out of existence. "I felt bad for the cleaners." Charlie explained as he put his cleaning gun back in his Gucci purse. Francoeur poked Gonzo's unresponsive form, looking beyond concerned. "Hey fleabag, wanna know what would really help Gonzo here to feel better?" Pyramid head asked with underlying malicious intent. Francoeur, being a simple creature, didn't pick up on it and nodded earnestly. "What you wanna do is, you wanna prop him up into a sitting position," Pyramid head began and Francoeur complied, pushing Gonzo's limp form up into a slumped sitting position, "Great. Now, lie on your back." Pyramid Head instructed, and Francoeur nodded again and lay down onto his back. "Right, this is the most important part," Pyramid head said, his tone serious, "You have to use those flea legs and kick the absolute ungodly shit out of Gonzo. Don't be afraid, it'll really help." Francoeur was a simple soul, but he wasn't straight up stupid, and he looked around unsure at the others. "Mosquito shart." Gru snivelled muddily, and one of the endermen turned inside-out and then imploded, folding in on itself and vanishing out of existence. "Um.... triangle man, you know I'm crushing on you and usually simp for whatever you do or say, but.... do you really want to fucking decimate Gonzo beyond recognition?! I mean, he's real fucked up already, if Franc kicks the shit out of him now he might just disintegrate." Endie whispered, looking at Gonzo's crumpled form pityingly. "So fucking what?! Charlie can just restore him." Pyramid head pointed out bluntly. "Wait.... enderman 37219, from colony 69?! It's me, Trisha!!" The enderman wearing the ridiculous 2011 neon emo fit shouted, jumping up. "Yeah, it's me bitch," Endie replied bluntly, spinning around, "You bullied the shit out of me."
"Yeah, I did," Trisha giggled, "But you were such a nerd back then in End Highschool. You like, legit didn't even know how to whip nae-nae."
"Trisha, that sentence hurt me." Endie replied with a smile. "Whatever, I see you're still the same sad little nerd. Why don't you check on eBay (endBay) and see if they have a life for sale?!" Trisha bitched back. Endie grabbed her by the throat, yanked her towards him, stared through her eyes into her soul and snarled, "I have been held hostage for a British creeper for months, beaten, thrown, blown up and killed multiple times. If you think I will deal with your shit, you are sorely fucking mistaken you gigantic, pompous, insecure whore. Hey, I just got a call, it's the main End Mall. You know those little troll drolls they sell? One of them said she wants to sue you for identity theft you neon inbred enderpearl hound." Trisha burst into hysterical tears, pulled out a double barrel shotgun and shot herself in the head, blowing her brains out all over the wall. Endie laughed gleefully. Pyramid head felt his heart beat to the rhythm of the silent hill game soundtrack. "You know what, I have bloodlust now, Francoeur, triangle was telling the truth, if you want Gonzo to feel better, kick the shit out of him!!!" Endie shouted, and Francoeur, having a second opinion, was convinced, and began ruthlessly pummelling Gonzo's back with his clawed feet. Gonzo regained consciousness briefly, his head swivelling dizzily as Francoeur continuously battered him and his eyes rolling in their sockets as he screamed, "MOTHER!!!!!" Then he passed out again, flopping forwards limply. None of this affected Francoeur's constant supersonic kicking, in fact Francoeur took Gonzo's brief regaining consciousness as a sign that kicking the shit out of him was making him better, and his kicking speed increased. Quasimodo began beatboxing to the rhythm. Charlie and Pyramid head began clapping along, and Endie cleared his throat and began rapping, "Yo, I'm not into killing but if you were given the gift of intuition then keep me within your peripheral vision 'cause I'm of a jittery disposition, I'm a nervous guy that perfers to hide, I'm terribly shy and I don't know why! But just know that I'm out of sight, and mind, and time like a rotary dial phone, ring! I don't want to die alone, my type of solo's a xylophone!! Now you see me, now you don't, shoving a dirt block down your throat, 'cause I'm now on a vicious mission to win the staring competition-" Suddenly Endie's rap was interrupted as the wall of the pit opened up, revealing a bright, icy corridor with a mysterious mist hanging low in the air. "Is anyone else seeing this?!" Pyramid head yelled, punching unconscious Gonzo in the face. "I thought you said this pit was it?" Charlie asked Endie. "It.... it is. This must be a hallucination, chorus fizz can cause collective delusions and hallucinations." Endie explained. "No way this is a hallucination." Pyramid head said, stepping into the ice tunnel. "It is pretty convincing." Charlie mused, following Pyramid head into the tunnel. The enderman stood and teleported into the tunnel after them, looking around, his purple eyes like saucers. Gru grabbed Gonzo by his nose and went jiggling glorbly after the charliemind gang, dragging Gonzo along behind him like a deformed, unconscious, bleeding, vomit-covered puppy. "Do any of you guys wanna tag along with us?" Charlie asked the remaining people in the padded room. Quasimodo shook his head vacantly, the remaining enderman said, "⌇⍜⍀⍀⊬ ⟟ ⎅⍜⋏'⏁ ⌇⌿⟒⏃☍ ⟟⏁⏃⌰⟟⏃⋏," and Francoeur nodded with a grin, jumping up and loping after the charliemind gang. "Hey, Francoeur, I've just realised that you're not wearing clothes and that's partly why I didn't recognise you. Where did you white tux and hat go?" Charlie asked with a grin. "Je me suis fait voler." Francoeur explained cheerfully. "Sacré bleu!" Charlie exclaimed. "What did Mr Parasite say?" Pyramid head asked bluntly. "He was robbed," Charlie replied, before turning to Francoeur and asking, "Who robbed you?"
"Monsieur Voldemort." Francoeur replied. "Relatable." Charlie said sadly, shaking his head. "Hey, we're near the end of the tunnel!" Endie called from up ahead. Gru sneerelled over, jahooging out the tunnel and sprinting off; the tunnel opened up to what appeared to be a large factory of some kind, with large class tubes jutting out the ground containing various people and creatures suspended in some kind of fluid. "What the fuck is this place?" Pyramid head asked, looking around at the massive space and various preserved specimens. "It looks like some kind of factory," Charlie said with a grin, "These creatures are all dead; preserved in some kind of liquid. It's like some kind of mass industrial mummification." Francoeur pressed his four hands and face to one of the tubes staring in at the preserved specimen inside, which happened to be Bernie Sanders in his puffer coat, face mask and gloves. "Hey, check it out." Pyramid head called with glee, pointing to one tube that had none other than Bela Lugosi mummified inside. "Bela Lugosi?! How did he get in there?!" The enderman shouted, teleporting over. "Wait a minute...." Pyramid Head said, inspecting a plaque beneath Bela Lugosi's cylinder, "This says, 'Indoor Theme Park visitor no. 1287. Specimen captured on 11/2 at 10am.' What the fuck?! Does that mean they fucking trapped Bela Lugosi when he coincidentally visited this same indoor theme park as us, killed him and fucking mummified him?!!" Pyramid head yelled. "I.... I dunno..." Endie said slowly, his eyes wide. "Look, there's another one over here that says, 'Indoor Theme Park visitor no. 1004. Specimen captured on 5/7 at 5pm.' I can't think of anything this could mean except... this indoor theme park is some kind of body harvesting plant. Maybe to sell organs on the black market." Charlie stated with a mildly concerned smile. "Oh my GOD, we're gonna get caught and mummified like all of these people!!" Endie cried, beginning to hyperventilate. "That's why they get us high out of our minds before we're dropped into the pit! So that we can't fight back!!" Pyramid head shouted, leaping into the air and letting himself fall onto unconscious Gonzo elbow-first, breaking multiple of Gonzo's bones. "This whole mall is just some kind of flesh farm, murdering and mummifying all who enter the theme park!!!" Endie screamed, his breathing wheezy and frenzied. "Hey, there's a big information panel over here!!" Charlie called, and the others rushed over to see. It read 'Welcome to The Exhibition, a scientific collection of unwillingly mummified specimens. Each creature is carefully preserved in a mixture of water and glycerin taken from bongs after cannabis was smoked out of them, seeing as that has worked as the best preservative so far. Please enjoy examining our collection of specimens, and ponder their unwillingness to be forever preserved in the name of science.' "Oh my GOD," The enderman shrieked, "We're gonna be mummified in bong water by a bunch of deranged stoner scientists!!!"