The Hard Crush 1 (Feelings For You)

THIRTY-ONE

Hilary sat beside him in the car as Emerald drove them back to their house. It was weird, really, because he'd never imagined Hilary sleeping over in his house. Her housekeeper, who'd showed up earlier at the hospital, had asked her to go home and take a rest to prepare for school the next day, and his mom, the saint she was, had suggested she stayed over at their house. Even though the idea would have been derided, a hotel should have been the first suggestion. Nevertheless, Hilary was contented with Mrs Daniels' offer because it showed in her face as it brightened up from it's paleness. They'd stopped by her house to get some of her belongings and thankfully her dad wasn't around.

His mom and Emerald were having their own conversation in front while Jerry sat quietly behind with Hilary who seemed to be lost in thought as she gazed out the window. He didn't waste time in interrupting whatever was going on in her head.

"You know you have a lot to explain to me," he said.

She slowly turned to look at him. "Yeah, but not right now. I'm tired. Maybe after school tomorrow?"

"Stop it. Don't procrastinate."

"I'm not. I promise I'll tell you everything." She reached for his hand and he shook his head while shifting to the corner.

"Don't do that," he warned.

"What?"

"Don't use every moment you have when I'm around to touch me."

"What's wrong with that?"

"I don't like it," he told her firmly.

She looked away immediately, as if to hide her frustration. They didn't talk again through out the remaining ride home.

Jerry was exhausted when he got to his room. He took a quick shower and laid in bed. It was already 12:30am. Sleep should be taking over by now but instead Winifred had her way of getting into his head, depriving him of everything else. Somehow he'd managed to keep every thought of her out of his mind these past few hours, but now she'd barged in like she owned his thoughts.

He really needed to talk to her. He needed to smell her, to feel her, to see her. He missed that radiant feeling that had stirred in him when she was right here in his bedroom the other day. He didn't know exactly what the feeling was and he didn't know how long he could suppress it. It was devastating for him to even think about it, to think about her, to think about -

Jerry's eyes snapped open as he realized that someone was knocking. Was it morning  already? He took a glimpse at the clock as he got up. It was almost 1am. He opened the door and Hilary stood there. Why was he not surprised?

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi," he said, raising his brows at her. "Isn't this sleeping hours?"

"Sorry, I'll be brief," she begged him, lips pouting.

He leaned against the door frame, urging her to go on.

"I just wanted to say thank you for today. I'm just relieved and glad that there's someone who knows about my family issues and isn't openly or secretly judging me for it. It just makes me feel more at ease now that you know what's been happening. Well, not everything, but still..." She gave a small smile. "Thank you for calling today."

"Maybe if I didn't call, your mom wouldn't be in that position right now," Jerry said, the thought occuring to him for the first time, making him feel guilty.

Hilary shook her head. "Nobody knows for sure what would have happened if you didn't call. We don't know how long their fight would have gone and to what extent. This might actually be better than anything else. She's looking strong and she's alive which is the most important thing."

Jerry nodded. She was right. Somehow she was make sense today.

"Well, I'll see you in the morning then," she turned and left.

                                  ***

Jerry sat at the breakfast bar in the morning listening to Emerald rant about her time with Noah last night.

"... looking at me like I'm a piece of meat he can't wait to devour. Oh my God, the amount of self control I had to maintain with that guy around..." She trailed off, murmuring something beneath her breath.

"Did you just curse?" Conrad asked, stupefied.

"I did," she whispered, giving Serena a brief glance. She was playing with her food and didn't look like she was listening to them.

"Well that's unusual."

"Isn't he like the same age as you?" She turned to Jerry.

"No. He's nineteen," Jerry replied.

"He's still too young."

"Who are we talking about again?" Rachel asked, feeling left out.

"Hilary's friend."

Just then, as if being summoned, Hilary walked in, looking as bright as the day.

"Good morning," she said and took a seat next to Jerry.

"How was your night?" Rachel asked, smiling widely.

"Pretty short."

"Well, I can relate," Emerald said, placing a plate of sandwich in front of her.

"Oh no, I'm okay," Hilary said, returning the sandwich. "I don't usually eat breakfast."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

"Okay then," Jerry got up. "Shall we go?" The idea of arriving the school premises with Hilary was quite disturbing. And if he suggested they went separately, he'd look like the bad guy here.

"I'll take you guys," Emerald supplied.

"That's a new one."

"What?"

"You're willingly offering to take me to school."

"I'm offering to take Hilary to school, you can join if you wish," she told him and took Hilary's hand, leading her out of the kitchen.

Jerry scowled as he grabbed his bag.

"So, you and Hilary, huh?" Rachel said, sipping her tea, eyes glued to the magazine in her other hand.

Conrad chuckled.

"Don't even start. It's not funny," Jerry told them and walked out.