The Hard Crush 1 (Feelings For You)

TWENTY-EIGHT

"What are you doing?"

Shit.

Jerry swivelled around in defeat only to be met with Hilary's cold expression of disapproval. He was beginning to find it challenging to go a day without an unwelcomed conversation with her. But most especially, he was finding it way more difficult to avoid her altogether. His resolution turned out to be more tiring than he'd anticipated.

He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket. Hilary's lips pouted in that annoying way it so often did when she was upset and he couldn't help but feel suddenly irritated.

"Huh?" He asked.

"You heard me," she said as she folded her hands across her chest. "You heard me yell your name just a minute ago and you ignored me. You think I didn't see you coming to hide behind this tree? So I'll ask again; what are you doing?"

Jerry sighed. "The usual, Hilary."

"Which is?"

"Avoiding you."

"That's very specific," Hilary stated, slightly offended. "So...do you also avoid Winifred the same way you avoid me?"

"Listen, every single moment you manage to get with me doesn't always have to have a topic with Winifred in it," he said, a tad annoyed.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." She took a step towards him. "I didn't mean to upset you. I just...well, I just want your attention," she said calmly. For once she almost looked genuinely sincere with the absence of the accent.

"Hilary, I already told you..."

"Yes, I know. You're not interested in me. I get it. You don't have to rub it over my face a second time." She frowned and then suddenly looked dejected. "The thing is, I...I just really need a friend right now."

Despite her sudden emotional state, Jerry couldn't help laughing. "Are you serious? You've got tons of them. In school and outside school."

She looked offended that he was finding this funny. "I have friends but they're mostly interested in parties and having fun. None of them really care about my personal life or what I'm going through outside school."

Jerry smirked. Was she for real? "What now? You're going through real life challenges or what?"

She had a faraway look in her eyes as she spoke quietly. "Something like that."

He chuckled. "Seriously? And why are you suddenly coming to share this with me?"

She looked away. "I know you never came to me with your problems and I've never really gotten the chance to ask because you barely give me any chance to begin with, but still, that's a bit selfish on my part..."

"A bit?" He asked. "Whether or not I give you all the time in the world, you've never given a damn about my life or my problems. You don't ask about my family or even the least question 'how are you, Jerry?' Nothing. The only thing you do is bug me when you can about hanging out."

"Bug you?" She asked in astonishment. "Jericho I've always cared about you. If you feel I've always bugged you, it was never intentional. Literally speaking I do everything in my power to try to get even just a minute with you. I make sure to approach you in a tactful way because I know you've never liked me and I know it's stupid but I just keep hoping that someday you'd come around and give me a chance."

"You know that's not going to happen," he told her carefully. He almost felt relaxed. Almost. Because she looked less likely to throw herself at him. And for once she wasn't making use of her acting skills around him which made the situation a bit promising. Also, the fact that she'd referred to him with his full name helped change his attitude towards her. Anyone who addressed him with Jericho - excluding Winifred - were undoubtedly being real with him.

Hilary nodded. "I know it's never going to happen." She looked almost defeated. "At least let's be friends. I promise I'll behave. I just really need a friend right now."

"Why?" He couldn't help but ask.

She averted her eyes and she actually looked miserable. "It's just, well, the thing is, a lot's been going on at home lately."

Surprisingly, Jerry found himself being intrigued. A minute ago he'd been deciding on the best way to ditch this whole encounter with her but that seemed to be far from his mind now. He was curious as to why Hilary was looking and sounding helpless all of a sudden.

"What do you want?" He asked calmly, making sure he sounded a little bit annoyed and impatient. No way was he giving her the idea that he was slightly curious about whatever she had to say or that he felt kind of sorry for her for a reason he was yet to know. This was Hilary for Christ's sake. He wasn't entirely certain about her full intentions yet.

She hesitated and then looked around at the passing students, her expression clearly showing uncertainty.

"I don't think it's safe to talk about it here. Maybe we can talk it over dinner?"

Jerry gave her a hard glare as every bit of emotion related to pity towards her that stirred up in him vanished. "I should have known this was your way of asking me out on a date. Really, Hilary? Grow up already," he said and brushed past her. He wanted to kick himself for even giving her his time and genuine attention. Was this what naivety felt like?

"Jerry, wait!" Hilary called after him.

Jerry quickened his steps as she tried to catch up with him.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Her voice was mixed with fear. "That wasn't what I intended. I just prefer to discuss it somewhere private. It's not something that should be said out here. Anyone could be eavesdropping."

"I'm done with you, Hilary, back off," he snapped.

Unfortunately, she wasn't one to listen; she grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him to a stop.

"Please, can you just listen to me for one second and stop pushing me away. It's not fair!"

"Enough!" Jerry growled and she flinched. "I'm sick and tired of you trying to gain sympathy from everyone. Shouldn't you realize by now that it doesn't work with me?"

"I'm not trying to gain sympathy, I just really need a friend to talk to, that's all..."

"Do I have to remind you for the hundredth time that we are not friends and probably never would be!"

Hilary stopped in stunned silence as her green eyes searched his face for any indication as to why he treated her the way he did. A tear glided down her cheek and that was enough to shut Jerry up. This was real.

She immediately wiped the tears off and walked away.

Walked away! Hilary walked away from him. How the tables have turned.

This was serious apparently. He made her cry for real. Just when he thought he'd given her a piece of his mind, he'd gone and unintentionally given her a large piece which had hurt her. This was not something he was specialized in. Tristian would probably carry on with his day like nothing had happened, but not him. He fought the urge to run after her. No matter how much he detest the girl, he couldn't bring himself to hurt her. But he'd done so already, and he knew he wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't fix things with her. Damn, why was he made to have a soft spot for women?

As if that wasn't enough, there she stood; Winifred, not too far away from where Hilary had stood.

Their eyes locked into that electrical beautiful exchange that caused his whole body to tingle in excitement. He saw her lips curl up in a small smile and for a brief moment he imagined walking up to her and pressing his lips against her soft plump ones. He wanted to savor in her smell and the taste of her lips once again. He watched her as she watched him and his heart shattered into many pieces when he remembered that he couldn't have anything to do with her. He hated himself for doing this to both of them but it was the best he could do to save his friendship with Tristian.

He saw that she was about to approach him but his body automatically turned and walked away in the other direction before his heart could betray him.