Lost It All

After it All

Alora's P.O.V.

There was so much going on that I didn't really know where I needed to go. Everyone was running around like they were running back and forth like they were bees flying around a busy hive. There was no way to tell where I was supposed to go so I just found a nice little corner and sat on the steps of a ladder and ran my hands through my hair. I played with my rosary around my neck and pushed my index fingers together while I just sat and watched the people fly. I hummed silently and bit my lip while I looked around for Ashley, someone. Just anyone that could tell me where to go or where I should go. I just waiting then I felt breath on the back of my neck and I turned and looked over my shoulder and smiled when I saw Ashley. "Hey there honey." He said kissing my lips gently. "Hey, what's going on?" I asked with a smile and fluffed his hair a bit. "Just finishing the set up. Come over to the side with Juliet and Sammi. Don't be a loner." He chuckled and pulled me off the ladder and pulled me into his chest and kissed my forehead. I giggled softly and kissed his cheek. "Yessir." I smiled softly and followed him as we walked over to the side stage and I got hugs from both of the girls. We chatted a bit while Ashley went and grabbed his bass. The lights on the stage were dim and there was a light fog covering the stage, the boys started to make their way onto the stage. I smiled and blew Ashley a kiss and he caught it then put his hand against his chest. I giggled and then the show started. I watched happily and clapped and watched Ashley and laughed at CC as he tried to get Chrissy's attention every so often, no doubt that it was working it was just funny to watch. I smiled when Juliet went out to do her part for Lost It All, which was my favourtie song off the Wretched and Divine album but now it made me want to cry. But I just had to hold it together. I actually scurried off the stage and went to the bar and got a drink to try and calm down.  A drink turned into a few shots then I ended up in the green room curled up on the couch, clutching my rosary and I started to cry. I really had lost it all. Everything. All because some girl wasn't using her head, her non-existent, coked out brain. The tears felt hot on my face and I wiped them as the fell to my cheeks. The alcohol in my system was making my body tingle and was warming up my body too, along with the tears. I tried to take some deep breaths and I closed my eyes tight and I started to pray. Pray to God that my parents were okay, that my brothers' were okay. That I would survive without them in my life, knowing it would be a while before I would even be able to think of seeing Dominic and Nicholas again, what with them being deployed and all. I cried while I prayed silently, I could hear footsteps outside the door, laughter, a few concerns as to my whereabouts, but nothing that really took me away from my prayer. That was until I heard the door open and the familer sound of heavy, boot clad, foot steps and looked up to see Ashley. "Alora... Are you okay?" He asked as he sat on the arm of the couch and took my hands away from my chest and kissed the rosary, then my fingers. I nodded and sniffled a little. "Yeah. I just had a moment. I needed to take a minute for myself. I was praying." I exhaled and ran my fingers through my hair. I bit my lip then got off the couch and started to leave the room. "Go do the meet and greet. I'll be in the parking lot." I said in a light tone as I walked out and let the warm summer air envolpe my being. I took slow deep breaths and watched the setting sun. Sitting on a curb I waved back at people when they waved at me. Some others seemed to recognize me from pictures from the last show and they gave me hugs and asked for pictures. So I complied, it's all to make the fans happy right? I'm still, after all, only a fan. So who am I to try and make them upset?