Lost It All

Thoughts Are Dangerous

Alora's P.O.V.

That night was an amazing night, Ashley and I just watched crap television all night and he held onto me and we smiled and talked to our little girl. Every time that Ashley laughed she would roll around. This really was one of the best nights of my life. Almost made me forget about everything that had happened. I was still healing from the crash, not physically, but emotionally. I had nightmares a lot, most of them involving me being the one that passed away rather than my parents. Some nights I even had nightmares about my  brothers. I would jump in front of the gunfire just to save them. The rest of my family had so much more to live for than I did. Or so I thought. I was going to be a mom, and I have a fiance that loved me and I had the greatest family a girl could ask for. It was late and Ashley and I were in bed, he had fallen asleep and I was looking out the window listening to the night life. It was about 1:37am, I had reached over Tokyo who was laying on my chest to grab the iPad, turning it on and opening up my email, I moved the pup to the side and started an email to my grandmother. I needed to tell someone in my biological family what was going on. So I just told her that I was doing well and that I was off the road, settling into my new home. I told her that Ashley and I were now engaged and that she was going to have a great granddaughter. I had took a picture of the ring and a picture of the ultrasound, and attached them along with the video that Jinxx had taken. After I clicked send I got up and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind me and turning on the shower. I started to take off my clothes and I looked at myself in the mirror, I then quickly looked away. All I saw were the dark purple stretch marks and swollen breasts. It's not like I thought that I thought I was gross enough looking as it was. I carry most of my weight in my belly already and getting pregnant only made it worse. When I think about it I really don't know what Ashley saw in a girl like me. But I try not to think about it now, because even though I hate how I look I am the luckiest girl in the entire world. I know that there are hundreds of thousands of girls who would kill to be in my position. With a sigh I pull my hair into a ponytail and step into the steaming shower and closed my eyes, within seconds I started silently sobbing.

Ashley's P.O.V.

I felt movement next to me and Tokyo whimpered a little bit, Killer was still snoring at my feet. I sat up a bit, just in time to see Alora close the door to the bathroom. I heard her turn on the shower, when I saw the iPad laying on the bed I unlocked it and saw that her email was still open, and I saw that the email she was trying to send had failed so I went to send it again, but not before reading it. I smiled, happy that she was talking to her family. Slowly I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, I could her Alora trying to keep her crying silent. Stepping out of my shorts and boxers I got into the shower behind her and wrapped my arms around her. She tried to push me away but I just held her tighter and hummed in her ear to try and calm her down. I stood there in the hot water with Alora until she stopped sobbing and then until the water ran cold.