TACENDA | marauders era

12. staying afloat

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chapter twelve: 

staying afloat

☀︎☀︎☀︎

CAPELLA BLACK WAS drowning. She would never admit it to anyone but she was drowning in a pathetic sea of homework, essays, studying and extra credit assignments.

She knew she had been slacking for the first half of the year and had been preoccupied with enjoying her last few months of complete freedom - not ideal with her parents breathing down her neck about NEWTS the following year. Capella didn't know why her mother was so angry that her grades were not the highest in the year. It's not like she would ever get to use her intelligence to get a job or do some good in the world. 

"Leave all that to the men" her mother's voice echoed around her head "You're a woman, Capella Black. It is simply not your place".

Now that she was back at Hogwarts after Christmas, Capella wasn't sleeping well, she was hardly eating and her thoughts were always stuck on the idea of marrying Nott. Sure, in theory it was an excellent idea. They would both get to choose who they had to spend the rest of their lives with, their families would be esatic and Capella would be able to save Regulus. There were so many reasons why this was the best thing that could have happened - but why did Capella feel nothing but dread?

In order to appease her parents and provide a suitable distraction from her personal issues, Capella went to each Professor and begged them for any extra reading, tutoring or tips they had in order for her to do her best in the exams. She had to sit through a dozen speeches about how 'these examinations are not the be all and end all Ms Black'- but in the end she managed to fill her schedule with an absurd amount of school work.

Walburga and Orion wouldn't be satisfied with anything but the best. They hadn't minded as much about her mediocre grades when Sirius had been part of the family. He was the heir and his image mattered much more than hers. Any misstep from Sirius was immediately noticed by everyone in the wizarding world and reflected badly on all of them. Capella had managed to slip under the radar with her hardly noticeable moments of rebellion always seeming even smaller in comparison to Sirius' bold and public antics.

The only part she hadn't completely worked out just yet was how she was going to balance everything she had signed up for. Capella had gone from doing little to no work, to not even having time to go to the Great Hall for meals due to her jam-packed schedule. She had most of her meals in the kitchens with the house elves and sometimes Alice joined her while attempting to get her to take a break.

Capella would never admit it but she was struggling to stay afloat.

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"ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER potions class, am I right?" Leo chuckled awkwardly as he took a seat beside Capella. He had been acting strange ever since their Hogsmeade trip in December.

"Knock it off, Marshall" she grumbled as she stifled a yawn. She was far too sleep deprived to deal with his weird ramblings.

"You look miserable,'' he blurted out before he could stop himself, his voice dripping with concern.

"Gee thanks" Capella rolled her eyes, trying to not be offended by his words. She knew she wasn't exactly looking her best - forgive her she had a lot on her plate. Between her panic over exams, extra reading and trying to avoid Nott whenever he looked as though he was considering talking to her, she didn't exactly have time to do her hair or paint her nails. 

Capella had been avoiding mirrors recently as she knew they would only make her feel a lot worse about herself. The bags under her eyes were growing each day, her hair was slightly knotted from being thrown back into countless ponytails, her robes had seen better days and she had lost quite a bit of weight.

"N-no! You look great. You always look great" Leo stuttered as he frantically tried to fix his mistake " I just meant that you look a bit ill. Are you okay?"

"Just fine" she murmured, aggressively chopping up the bat wings in front of her. "What makes you think I'm not?"

Leo gulped as he watched her slam the knife onto the table - he never wanted to get on her bad side "No reason at all."

The rest of the class was spent in silence as Leo observed her appearance and actions from the corner of his eye. She was moving slowly as if every movement was taking up all her energy and she was working on the potion as if her life depended on it turning out perfectly. That combined with her frazzled appearance just added to his concern for the girl. It was glaringly obvious that she needed help - but would she be willing to take it?

For the last month he had watched her shrug off Alice's and Sirius' attempts at forcing her out of the library, witnessed her trying to convince them that she was just fine and pushed away their concerns regarding how little she was eating and sleeping.

Leo could see that she was struggling and he vowed that he wouldn't give up until she let someone help her. 

———— NOTES ————

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Bit of a shorter chapter but very important for both Leo and Capella's character development.

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