Afraid to Love

Chapter 4

TChapter 4;

*Makenzies POV*

I was playing cards upstairs in my room with Carter. He had been beating me at Go Fish ever since we started playing. I really sucked at card games and he liked the idea of beating me.

I invited him over an hour ago because I needed to know whether or not Carson had been lying to me. I didn't wanna confront Carter about it because I was afraid that Carson might be right.

I looked up at Carter and he was looking at his cards, debating on which card he was gonna ask me for. As soon as his mouth opened to answer, I immediately stopped him.

"Carter, I need to know something," I said, setting my deck upside down. Carter glared at me with a hard look and eventually set his deck down, "and it's not good."

He raised an eyebrow at me, "Not good? What do you mean, babe?" his voice seemed a little shaky.

"I... I..." I stammered. I couldn't get the words out. They were stuck in my throat and I couldn't bare to find out the truth. Carter reached for my hand and I pulled it away.

"Makenzie?"

I couldn't look at him, "Are you cheating on me?" those words came spilling out. I felt bad afterwards because once I saw Carter's expression, I knew I was in trouble.

"Cheating on you? Who said that bullshit?! I would never cheat on you, Makenzie, so I don't know why you don't trust me."

"I do trust you."

He scoffed, "If you trusted me, then you wouldn't have asked me such an idiotic question." He got off my bed and stood up.

I still couldn't look at him.

Carter came closer to me, and put his hand under my chin and forced me to look at him. "God, you're so beautiful. I can't stay mad at you..." Carter leaned in and kissed me. I was honestly surprised by this reaction.

Carter laid me down on the bed and got on top of me. He had one of his hands holding my neck and the other roaming my chest. I gasped as he started to kiss down my neck and he liked the reaction he got out of me. I could feel his smile while he kissed me all over. He then started grinding our parts together and started kissing me passionately again.

"Oh... Kaelynn..." He moaned. I froze.

Did he just moan another girls name? After he told me he wasn't cheating on me? I couldn't believe this. Carson had been right. He was cheating on me.

Carter felt my body freeze underneath of him and just then, did he realize what he had just done. I pushed his body off of me and slapped him across the face. He held his cheek, and looked at me, dumbfounded.

I had so much anger built inside of me. I didn't know what to do. So I decided to slap Carters other cheek, but before I touched his face, he grabbed my wrist and threw me back on the bed.

I sat back up and Carter was running out of the door. I started chasing after him but before I could even reach the bottom of the stairs, Carter had already left. I felt so stupid. I was trying to avoid this from happening. I was so scared so I sat down on the bottom of the stairs and cried.

I woke up at the bottom of the stairs, with my face all wet from the tears, and my neck was stiff as hell. I sat up and stretched. I yawned and then stood up. Just then, I heard the most beautiful sound in the world.

It was a piano.

It was coming from the basement.

I cracked open the door, and started tip toeing down the stairs. Careful not to make any noises what so ever, I peeked around the wall at the end of the stairs and there was the piano, and a boy playing it.

It was Carson.

He was playing moon light sonata by Beethoven, and I only recognized it because I listen to classical music. It helped me sleep at night. I continued to tip toe around the wall and leaned against it to watch Carson.

He seemed so into it. He seemed happy playing it. He seemed.... Complete. His fingers were all over the piano keys and the tune was a dark tune. It fit him.

Carson must of noticed my presence because he immediately stopped playing. He laid his arms down in his lap and looked down. I stayed where I was.

"How long have you been there?" He asked me, his voice almost emotionless.

I shrugged and said, "Not that long... I didn't know you played. You play beautifully."

"What do you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do I seriously have to repeat myself? What the fuck do you want?"

"Nothing. I just heard a piano playing, and came downstairs. I was surprised that it was you playing."

Carson turned around and his eyes were glossy looking and red, and his face was wet too. He'd been crying and I didn't even notice it. He knew how to hide his emotions well.

"Go away. I don't want to be around anyone right now." He murmured, sniffling. I felt the urge to comfort him but I knew how he felt about touching.

I shook my head, "Carson, why are you crying?" I started walking towards him and I held my hand out. Carson's eyes went wide eyed and he flinched. He held his arms up in front of his face to defend himself, and I don't know what for.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." He cried, his voice getting louder.

What could I do? I've never been in this situation before. Carson has never told me he was sorry before, and he's certainly never tried to defend himself from me.

Carson always took hits and punches and kicks from me before and not once has he tried to defend himself like this before.

"Carson, I'm not going to hurt you." I said softly.

Carson shook his head fast, "No! You will! You always say this before you hurt me! Get away from me!" I stopped getting closer to him and I dropped my hand to my side.

Carson was breathing really heavy and he kept saying go away and to stay away from him. I didn't know what he was talking about. Did he think I was somebody that abused him? Other than sibling rivalry, I never really touched him.

"No! Dad, no! Don't hurt me... I'm sorry..." Carson stammered, covering his face with his hands.

Dad?

Carson thought I was his dad?

"Carson, it's me, Makenzie. I am not going to hurt you. Just let me help." Carson took his hand away from his face and he was crying, hard.

I felt so bad for him.

"Makenzie?" He asked, trying to look at me with blurry, crying eyes.

I nodded and he wiped at his eyes. I have never seen him cry. Ever.

"It's me. I won't hurt you. Would you like to tell me what's going on?" I sat down on the floor next to him, and he turned away from me.

"No. Now fuck off." He whispered.