Afraid to Love

Chapter 6

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Anyway, onto the story!

Chapter 6;

*Makenzies POV*

"Yeah, I would love everyone to come over to my house this weekend," I was on the phone with Hayley, Nikki, and Madison. I've been wanting to get together with them for the longest of time. "It would be so much fun. So you guys can come?" I paused, and then smiled. "Great! See you guys tomorrow!" I hung up the phone and ran downstairs.

My parents were watching some chick flick that my mom wanted to watch. I felt bad for my dad because when I came downstairs, he turned around and his eyes were pleading. I giggled and say down on the recliner next to them.

"So, I'm having Hayley, Madison, and Nikki come over tomorrow." I informed, looking at my mom.

She smiled, "That's great, honey. I'm glad you're finally having someone over." She snuggled into my dad as a kissing scene came on. My dad shifted uncomfortably.

"I think I might go to the store and get you guys some snacks!" My dad muttered as he awkwardly stood up and headed for the door.

"Be back soon, dear! I'm going to pause the movie for when you get back."

"No need, sweetie." With that, my dad hurried through the door. I laughed slightly at the fact that my dad just used that as an excuse to get out of watching a chick flick.

"What time are they coming over?" asked my mom, while getting up to go to the kitchen.

"8."

-The next day at 8-

Madison, Nikki, Hayley, and I were all watching a scary movie. Well, they thought it was scary, but I didn't. They kept making comments throughout the entire movie and it got annoying. Nikki turned the tv off and turned towards all three of us.

"So tell us what happened!" She demanded, getting close to my face. I felt uncomfortable but this was how Nikki was.

"Well, Carter cheated on me... I didn't think he was until I asked him, and he kept denying that he was and then he started kissing me. He moaned some other sluts name, while we made out and I slapped him. He ran off without saying a word. I haven't spoken to him sense." I explained, looking at each of them to see what their reaction was.

Strangely, they were all calm and were taking this this in well. Nikki crossed her arms and scrunched up her face. Madison stared at the coach, and Hayley had a confused look.

"Who told you that Carter was cheating on you?" asked Hayley, fiddling with her fingers.

I sighed, "Carson, surprisingly. I didn't believe him because he's an ass and would say things like that but I'm glad I listened." Hayley shifted awkwardly.

"Carson?! Who would've known. Did you tell Carson that you guys broke up?" Madisob piped up. I shook my head and she grunted, "We have to tell him."

"Why? Why do we need to tell Carson anything? He never tells anyone his business. I don't know a damn thing about him so why should I let him in on my life? He probably doesn't give a shit." I felt defensive and I don't know why. I wanted to know everything about Carson, but that boy pissed me off. He keeps to himself, and I hated that.

Nikki glared at me and I knew she had an idea. It was a bad one. "We could always try and investigate. If you wanna know more about Carson, then you gotta snoop around." She said slowly, looking at my expression.

I didn't like this idea but I was desperate. "Yeah, we could." I smiled. Nikki nodded. "Let's investigate!" She said.

-2 hours later-

"What luck. We can't find a single damn thing about him. It's like he knew!" Madison pouted, crossing her arms.

"Maybe he did.." I muttered, staring at the ground. I felt three pairs of eyes suddenly on me. "I could always go ask him..." That was the last thing I wanted to resort to. They all nodded and I shouldn't have brought up that idea.

I started walking down the hall to Carson's bedroom, and I stopped at the door. Should I just walk in and demand him to tell me his past? No. I would never get anything out of him except for a slap in the face. I'd have to manipulate him.

I knocked on his door, and then walked in. Carson has his back towards me, laying on his bed. I knew he was awake and thats what I was afraid of. I sighed and walked towards his bed slowly. Carson didn't say anything to me yet as I sat down on the edge.

"Carson.." I began.

"Fuck off, Makenzie." He muttered, his voice was powerful. I winced.

"No. I wanna know something."

"I know exactly what you want to know, and I'm not telling you. Now fuck off."

"You don't know anything."

"I don't know anything?! Are you fucking kidding me? I heard you and your little friends downstairs. You are 'investigating' me all because I won't tell you anything. I thought you had some respect. Why would you try to invade my personal life? It's not yours to know and I don't plan on telling you more than you already know. Now just leave me alone, you bitch." He sat up and practically yelled in my face.

I stared at the ground, and let Carson yell in my face. I was actually examining his room for some clues... I then noticed a shiny, silver blade under his bed. I leaned down and picked it up. Carson kept yelling at me and told me not to touch anything in his room but once I brought it up to his face, he quickly shut up.

It was a razor.

Carson started breathing heavy but remained cool. I held the razor up to his face and gave him a hard look. "Whats this Carson?" I asked, hoping he would tell me the truth.

"What the fuck do you think it is? It's a fucking razor."

"What do you use it for? I know you don't shave so don't use that excuse. Tell me what's going on Carson. I would like to know what's going on with my brother!"

He froze and his glare became intense, "I'm. Not. Your. Brother."

I sighed and threw the razor back down on the ground, "You cut." I said, and that's all I will say.

Carson turned away from me and pulled up his sleeve past his wrist and stared at it. "What else can I do...? I can't deal with the pain inside so I make myself deal with it on the outside. It's not my fault... Actually, yes. It is. Everything is always my fault. My mothers death, my father beating me... Raping me..." He could barely get the word 'raping' out. "I don't think I can take anymore pain, Makenzie... It's becoming too much to handle. I have to do something..."

He wasn't telling me everything. Just the basics of what I already knew. I wanted to know details. "Your father beat you." I said, hoping he would continue confessing things. He knew better.

"Yes. Now get out. I am not saying anymore."

"I want to know. Now start from the beginning."