Afraid to Love

Chapter 29

Chapter 29;

*Makenzies POV*

I had to wait till my parents went to bed before I went and saw Carson tonight. I haven't seen him in three days and it was killing me. I had to know for myself that he was okay.

I tip toed down the stairs, and scurried out the front door. I ran as fast as I could to that little park that Carson took me to one time. It was hard trying to run with my useless arm flapping everywhere.

I finally made it to the park, and went to go sit down on the swing. I sat here for about 20 minutes before I texted Carson. Maybe he was a no show. Maybe he got scared that I brought Danielle and Tyler with me... Maybe something happened. I sighed, and stood up. I waited out here for almost 45 minutes. I started walking back towards the way I came, and was stopped by a quiet voice.

"Makenzie?"

I whirled around and met the face of an angel. Carson had on a white T-shirt, and a pair of long pants that were ripped. I looked up at his face, and it seemed like it was in good shape. No scratches, bruises, or burns. That was good. But once I saw his arms, I regretted it.

He had 7 new cuts on his arms, and they were starting to heal up. They looked pretty deep too, and this disappointed me. I crossed my arms, and continued to stare at his arms.

He hid them behind his back, and cleared his throat. "Thanks for coming," he murmured.

"Why the hell did you leave, Carson? You had me worried sick! Do you know that? Have you not considered how everyone else feels about this? Are you coming home? Are you hungry? Why do you have those cuts?!" I kept asking questions and I couldn't stop.

"Just shut up. I left because I needed time to myself. I had to get away for a while. I don't want to go back to that fucking adoption agency. You don't know what it's like there. I do know that I worried you, and I'm sorry. Okay? I don't consider anyone else's feelings except my own, and yours. I don't know if I will go home, and no. I'm not hungry. You don't need to worry about where I got these cuts... Carson answered, and I felt like he was coming towards me.

"Why not?"

"You wouldn't understand if I told you,"

"I would understand perfectly,"

"You don't understand now,"

That caught me off guard. What was he saying? I understood him fine, so he has no right to say that to me. He tells me everything and I try to empathize with him.

"What? What do you mean?"

Carson sighed, and turned his back towards me. "I had to... I felt disgusted with myself... I thought about my dad again. When we were about to have sex, I thought of him, Kenz. I couldn't stop it. Then the fact about when I got home, and Tyler treated me like shit. He slapped me, and I had enough. I had to get away for a while..."

I felt tears well up in my eyes but I didn't let them escape. I slowly walked towards Carson, and reached my hand out to touch his back. I started rubbing up and down his back, and laid my head on his shoulder. He laid his head on top of mine, and sighed again.

"Please come home..." I whispered, accidentally letting my voice crack.

"Makenzie, don't start crying..."

"I want you home. I'm not going to cry,"

Carson grabbed the sides of my arms gently, making sure not to hit my cast, and looked into my eyes. His eyes looked dead, broken, and lost. But they were still beautiful as ever. His lip stuck out and it looked absolutely adorable. His hair was just perfect too.

"Fine. I'll come home with you, okay? I don't want you upset. But one thing?" He said, and I nodded.

He breathed in and said, "Make sure Tyler and Danielle don't bother me?"

I nodded again, and he half smiled. He then laced his hand with mine and we started walking back towards the house. We walked in silence the entire way, and once we were inside the house, Carson immediately shoved me on the couch, and let me lay on top of him.

I began to feel sleepy as Carson played with my hair, and lightly rubbed my back. He caressed my cheek, and then kissed it. I smiled.

"You're so beautiful..." Carson murmured, and I sat myself up to look at him. He giggled, and pulled me back down on him. He was the cutest thing ever when he wanted to be. I sighed, and he continued playing with my hair.

"Hey Kenzie?"

"Hmm?"

"You mean the world to me, you know that?"

"Mhmm,"

He laughed slightly and kissed my head. I began falling asleep, and I couldn't really comprehend what he was saying anymore.

"I love you," He murmured.