Afraid to Love

Chapter 40

Chapter 40;

*Makenzies POV*

I couldn't believe this was actually happening... I might be... Pregnant... With Carsons baby.. I wasn't freaking out about it at all, but Carson was.. I don't know why either.

He was pacing around the room, grabbing at his hair, kicking and punching everything.

"No.. No, no, no, no!" He kept muttering, and looking at me. "I'm so fucking stupid,"

"Carson, no you're not,"

"Yes, I am! I didn't control myself well enough, and I fucked up!"

"Everything will be alright... I'm not scared about this, so I don't know why you are..."

Carson stopped everything he was doing, and just glared at me with the most scariest eyes I have ever seen on him. I gulped, and shrunk back into the couch a little bit. I averted my eyes from his to avoid his gaze, but I couldn't seem to escape it.

"You don't know why I am scared?"

I shook my head.

He sat down in the chair in front of me, and laced his hands together. "Makenzie, what if I end up like my dad and abuse the kid? What if you die giving birth to it? Like my mother did..."

I placed my hands on top of his and his face was pained. "It'll be okay. You won't hurt it, and I won't die either,"

"My mom died at 16. You're 16. I'm just scared that this thing will harm you..."

"Thing? Carson, that thing is called a baby. Besides, we don't even know if I'm pregnant or not!"

He pursed his lips. "We will have to wait and see then. I will get you a pregnancy test, and we will find out,"

He got up, and left.

-

I breathed really heavy as I stood facing the bathroom mirror. My hair was a mess, and my clothes didn't look any better. I haven't been caring about how I looked lately, but I don't know why. As I stood in the mirror, I began to panic at the sight of myself. I looked down at the pregnancy test, and I read the words I never thought I would have to read in my life.

Positive.

-

"I knew it..." Carson slammed his fist in the wall, and I was getting scared.

"Carson, this isn't a bad thing! We're gonna be parents! Aren't you excited at all?!"

He whipped his head around to look me straight in the eyes, and to be honest, he looked scary. "Excited?" he mocked, laughing. "How can I be excited when I know there's a chance that I will hurt it?!"

"Carson, you are NOTHING like your dad! You're sweet, kind, gentle, loving..."

"I don't want to fucking hear it!" He started storming up the stairs as I began to tear up. Once he got up the stairs, I soon hears a door slam shut, and I dropped to my knees and cried.

-

"Hey Ben?" I asked, twirling my hair in between in my fingers. I was on the phone with him because Carson wouldn't talk to me, and he was in his room for 2 days.

"Yes, Makenzie?"

"Carson won't come out of his room and it's been days... I'm worried about him,"

"What happened?" I could hear the sudden change of attitude in his voice. From happy to worried in a matter of seconds.

"Nothing happened to him... I don't think. But something happened to me..."

He was silent, and I just continued talking. "I... I'm pregnant.... And Carson won't speak to me.. He hasn't since we found out, and I'm worried to death,"