Afraid to Love

Chapter 9

Chapter 9;

*Carsons POV*

I finally decided to stop cutting, and sighed. I got up slowly, and crept towards the bathroom because everyone was sleeping already. I started washing the dried up blood off of my wrist, and glared at the broken reflection in the mirror.

My eyes were bloodshot and tired looking. I tried to smile but I couldn't seem to find the willpower to do so. My hair was messy, and matted down from my sweat. I stared into my emotionless eyes for a good while and then I couldn't take it anymore.

I punched the mirror with my fist as hard as I could and the glass shattered everywhere. I had glass in my wounds but it didn't affect me. I stared down at the broken glass on the floor and then realized I made too much noise and might've woken everyone up.

I opened the door slowly and peeked down the hallway to make sure no one was up and surely enough, no one was.

Thank god.

I walked back down to my room, not caring about my hand being all bloody. I deserved it. I deserved pain. I laid down in my bed, and quickly fell asleep.

Shortly after falling asleep, I felt someone grab my arm and rub my hair. "Wake up, wake up, Carson!" said Makenzie.

"Leave me alone." I grumbled while batting the hand away, without looking to make sure it was really her.

"Carson, wake up. Right now!" The words 'right now' didn't sound like Makenzies voice. They suddenly got a lot deeper, and sounded like a voice I hated and knew.

I whipped around and I was looking at the face of my dad. He smiled disgustingly at me, and said, "Hello son."

"I'm not your son! You're not my dad! You won't ever be my dad!" I screamed, punching at him with my bloody hand.

My dad grabbed my arms and started getting on top of me, while slamming me against the headboard of my bed and laughing.

I woke up with a gasp, and I got out of bed and sat in the corner of my room, and stared at the wall. Suddenly, Makenzie came in the room, and I backed away from her.

"Carson, what's wrong?" She said, while coming towards me.

"Get away from me! You're not fucking Makenzie!"

"What are you talking about? I'm not Makenzie? I am Makenzie. Look at me. Carson, what's wrong?! What's going on with you?"

"Stay away from me! You're my dad!" I started punching at her and she glared at my hand.

"Carson, what did you do?" She demanded, while taking ahold of my wrist. I tried to yank it from her, but she had a firm grip on it.

"None of your fucking business!"

"Have you lost your senses completely? What happened to your wrist too? Have you been cutting?"

"No. I got scratched by a damn cat." I said, sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm taking away your razors. I should've done that when I found it in the first place." She went to my dresser, grabbed the razor, and went to the bathroom to throw it away.

She yelped, and demanded me to go to the bathroom, and I didn't want to listen. "Carson!! What the hell did you do?! The mirror..."

I looked down. "I'm not telling you anything."

"Carson, what the fuck."

"Just stop. Leave me alone."

She sighed, and walked out the bathroom to Tyler's and Danielle's room.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"You don't expect me to leave the mirror all shattered on the floor, do you?" She says, while turning the knob on their door.

I ran up to her and slammed her against the wall. "You're not telling them anything, you bitch. You said you wouldn't tell anyone."

She shoved me off of her, and glared at me. "Get your act together and start taking responsibility for your actions."

That was the last thing she said to me.