Afraid to Love

Chapter 1

Hey guys! I decided to write this because I got inspired by an excellent author on here. I got bored with my other book and yeah.. Haha(:

Be sure to vote and to comment what you think! I will always take suggestions! Thanks!

Chapter 1;

*Carsons POV*

Everything in the room was spinning, and I felt like I was going to throw up. My dad punched me in the stomach and threw me on the floor. He kicked my head and my head started to bleed.

"Have you learned your lesson yet, boy?!" my dad says harshly, "Or do I have to beat you some more?"

I said nothing.

This seemed to piss him off more, so he kicked my stomach I winced and I almost threw up. He smiled evilly and kneeled by my head. He rubbed my hair and I pushed his hand away.

I couldn't do anything. I tried fighting him off but he was a lot stronger than me. I was just a kid. I didn't have a say. I couldn't cry, because he'd hit me, I couldn't speak, because I'd get kicked in the head.

"Oh Carson. If only you died along with your mother." he spat in my face.

He stood up and started to leave the room but before he did, he turned and muttered, "You're such a pathetic, waste of space. Your mother was a fool for having you." and with that, he slammed the door shut and left me here.

I lost it and started crying. I curled up in the fetal position and hugged my knees tightly. I wanted to die. I wanted to just lie here and hope no one finds me. I wanted to just be forgotten.

*Makenzies POV*

I heard Carson screaming in the other room. I jumped out of my bed and rushed over to his room. I quickly pushed open the door and immediately started to shake Carson awake.

He put up a fight and was screaming "Get away from me!" in his sleep. I kept shaking his shoulders and it wasn't long before my parents came in to see what was wrong. Carson opened his eyes and they were frightened.

He then saw me standing over him with my arms on his shoulders and he shoved me off of him. He sat up and regained his self control again.

"Get the hell off of me, Makenzie. I don't need your help. I don't need anyones." Carson's voice was scared but it didn't shake or quiver.

"You were screaming again." I said, staring at him. He looked up at me and flipped me off. I sighed and left the room, pushing through my parents.

I could hear Carson and my parents yelling at each other through the wall of my bedroom. It was the usual fight they had and the last thing I heard was Carson telling them to fuck off.

*Carsons POV*

As I laid down in my bed, it gave me time to think and I don't like thinking.

Why didn't anybody understand?

Why doesn't anyone just leave me alone?

I should've been dead 7 years ago, but here I am.

Still pathetic as always. Still alive, and stupid.

I have had so many people hate me before, and I'm scared that Danielle and Tyler hate me too. I don't call my adoptive parents mom and dad because they could never be my parents. Makenzie could never be my sister...

She can't replace Emileigh.

I've thought about killing myself multiple times because I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve a family, because the one I had abandoned me and left me for dead.

My father, if you could even call him that, abused me. Sexually, physically, and emotionally. I have been through it all. My mother died while giving birth to me because she was raped and she was only 16. My dad was a pedophile.

I have my moms hair color and her eyes, so he can't even stand to look at me and my dad says he abuses me because I shouldn't even be here right now because I killed my mother. I was a mistake to him, and everyone around me.

My little step sister, Emileigh, was molested and killed right in front of me when I was 10. She was only 6. My dad was a sick bastard.

After Emileigh died, all of my emotions died with her. She was the only person I cared for, I loved her, and when I saw the color drain from her face, it killed me. Everyone close to me gets hurt or dies. I can't take it.

I sat up in my bed, and shivered. I was only in my boxers, and I was sweating. I don't ever sleep because of these nightmares. Nobody understands why I don't ever sleep, and when I don't tell them, they get pissed so I get scared and run off for a few hours.

I heard a knock at my door and looked up with dreary eyes.

"Go away."

*Makenzies POV*

"Listen, Carson, I need to talk to you. It's important." I said, quietly.

Carson didn't say anything so I knocked again. "Go. Away." I heard through the door. I sighed and opened the door anyway.

Carson sat up, startled. I made my way to the edge if his bed, and sat down. He gave me a glare to leave him alone, but I ignored it.

"What the fuck are you doing in here, Makenzie?" Carson hissed at me.

I ignored his remark. "Can I ask you something? It's personal." I asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"How personal is it?"

"About a 6."

"No."

"But-"

"No means fucking no. Now get out of my room."

"You're such a prick."

I slammed his door closed and that was the end of that. I wasn't getting anything out of Carson.