Afraid to Love

Chapter 32

Chapter 32;

*Makenzies POV*

"I want to go home, Carson!" I shouted, and turned my back away from him. Carson came up beside me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I pushed it off and crossed my arms.

"You can't go home, Makenzie... It's not safe-"

I cut him off. "My house is safe, and I want to go back! At least to get a change of clothes... Or to say hi to my parents... Or anything,"

Carson sighed. "What don't you understand?! Your dad is becoming fucking abusive, and you want to go back to him? You've got to be fucking kidding me," He snorted, and I could tell he was getting angry.

Good.

"We've been here for two weeks! I'm tired of living in a shitty house, and I'm tired of hiding!"

Alec and Bentley looked up from their conversation and their eyes saddened. I felt bad for saying that. They have accepted me in when they could've just put me on the street...

"You don't know shit. Tyler kicked us out, and I was only trying to keep you safe from what was going to become!" Carson was yelling by now, and he was quite pissed off at me now.

"I understand that, but I'm getting homesick,"

"I don't fucking care! If you went back now, imagine what would happen. He would get pissed at you for choosing me over your family, then he would start hitting you, screaming at you... I can't let that happen!"

"Wait a minute... My dad thinks I chose you over them?" I questioned, and that made me pissed. I don't even know why.

"Yeah,"

"Who said that?!"

Carson's eyes grew furious. "Your dad just assumed it,"

"I want to see my family,"

"No. You're staying here where you're safe,"

"Carson, I never chose anyone over anyone, and I'm not going to!"

Carson threw his hands up, and slammed the wall with his fist. "You know what? Fuck it. Go see your damn family. Don't say I didn't warn you. I'm tired of it. Just go!" He screamed at me, and I felt tears well up in my eyes.

I couldn't see anymore as I ran out the door. I didn't want to go back to that house. It was a nightmare. Sure, Alec and Bentley were sweet, and I'm sure Carson was only doing this for my benefit... But this was my family... I couldn't just abandon them. I loved Carson with all my heart, but he's being an ass. Why can't he just let me to back to the house just for a little bit, and then we could go back to hiding?

I'm so done with everything.

I was at my front door step, hesitating on whether or not I want to go in. I was honestly scared of my dad, but I just threw a big fuss over it, and now I have to. I slowly turned the knob on my door, and crept in. The house was dark, and it seemed like nobody was home.

Once I was in the house, I felt arms around me. They held me tightly, and

I couldn't get free. I beat against the person who was strangling me, and then I heard the voice.

"Welcome home, Makenzie," It was my dads voice, and he whispered it in my ear. I shivered, and then I blacked out.

*Carsons POV*

I couldn't believe her. Why the hell would she do that to me? I was only trying to protect her... I bet she's happy now that she's with her parents, and far away from me as possible. My anger rolled through me, and I couldn't stop it. My hands were trembling, my head was spinning, and I couldn't control my voice.

Alec and Bentley came over to me, and sat on either side of me on the couch. I held my head between my hands, and I looked at my knees. I didn't want to yell at them. They didn't deserve it. Alec placed his hand on my back, and spoke to me in a calm voice.

"Carson, please, calm down... It'll be okay. I'm sure Makenzie is alright. You were only trying to protect her from what happened to you. You're a good person, I promise you,"

I kept my eyes on my knees, and stayed quiet. Alec sighed, and looked at Bentley. Bentley took in a quivering breath. "Carson? Look at me, please?"

I slowly lifted my head up, and glared at Bentley. His eyes went wide eyed, and he exhaled. "You're crying..." He said, and grabbed a box of tissues. I pushed them away, and wiped at my eyes. I held my head between my hands again and continued to stare at my knees. I didn't even know I was crying. It didn't seem like I was...

"Carson, it's okay. She will come back," Alec said, and then he stood up to sit in front of me. He kneeled down so he could see my face. His face looked apologetic. "I know you love her-"

I cut him off. "I don't..." Lie.

Alec and Bentley chuckled. "You do. I can see it in your eyes. You love her with all your heart, I can tell,"

"Fuck off," I growled, and his my face in my hands.

"I used to be like you. Sad and broken. I didn't have it as bad as you, but I know whats its like to see someone you love go off and do something stupid," Alec explained, and placed his hand on my knee.

"What don't you understand? Fuck off!" my voice was muffled by my hands, and Alec sighed. He stood up, and I could hear Bentley and him exit the house. Once they left, everything came out. The tears, the emotions, the feelings... Everything hit hard.

I was in love with Makenzie Lea Smith. I've never cried this hard in m entire life. I looked up from my soaking wet hands, and glared at the door. I have to go and see if Makenzie is okay.