Afraid to Love

Chapter 18

Chapter 18;

*Makenzies POV*

Did I really have feelings for Carson? I mean, I just tried to kiss him for gods sake. How could I like someone like him? He's a douchebag, an asshole, a jerk... Then again, so was Carter.

Could Carson possibly have feelings for me? I know it isn't likely, but I'm a curious person.

I sat up in my bed, and wiped my eyes. I looked at the time, and sighed. I know I just left Carson's room an hour ago, but I needed answers. I quickly got to my feet, brushed through my hair, and rushed out of my room to Carsons.

I didn't even bother to knock. I walked right in, and I caught Carson cutting himself again. He quickly dropped the razor, and pulled his sleeve back down. He tried to turn away from me, so I couldn't see the blood, but it was soaking through his sleeve.

He bit his lip nervously, and looked down. "Why're you in here?" he asked, not wanting to meet my gaze.

"Why're you cutting? I thought I threw those out..."

He shifted uncomfortably, and continued to stare at the ground. "I can't take it."

"Take what?"

"Makenzie.... I have feelings for you. They're too much to handle, so I cut myself..."

I was shocked. "You have feelings for me...?"

He realized what he said, and he quickly denied it.

"Carson?"

"I don't..."

"You're a terrible liar."

"Says yourself."

I sighed heavily, and smiled. He seemed confused by my reaction, and closed his eyes. I went over to sit by him, and I put my hand on his wrist. He winced, and tried to pull away.

"Carson, don't." I ordered, and pulled his wrist close to me. He started breathing heavy and I pulled his sleeve up.

There were 5 cuts going up his wrist, that were all different sizes. I looked up at his expression, and apparently, he was doing the same. He wanted to know my reaction.

"Are you going to yell at me?" he asked, pulling his wrist close to his stomach.

"No."

"Why not?"

"You don't deserve to get yelled at."