Across The Stars - A Kai Havertz Fanfiction

Chapter 39 - Talk To Me. Please.

Still Kai's POV

"Yes, come in.", I hear Gigi say through the door. I slowly open it and as she sees my face she rolls her eyes and looks back at her computer. "Don't you have training?", she snaps at me whilst moving her fingers over the keyboard. "I couldn't concentrate. Please Gigi, talk to me. I want to get everything sorted. I am sorry that I put you in an uncomfortable situation by suggesting the thing with a house. I mean... Living in a house and building a real home there with my soulmate aka with you has been a dream of mine since I was little and of course I'd love to achieve it as soon as possible but I totally understand what's the matter for you. And I... I thought... Maybe we could come to a compromise. We can still move into an own house in a couple of years instead of next summer. And instead of moving there next summer we could do our best to find a beautiful apartment in a good price range where we both feel home and we can make that our home. What do you think about that, Gigi? ", I say nervously, then I look at her. Gigi sighs and says: "I'm sorry for not talking to you but... This topic just really scares me. Moving together is a huge step and moving into a house that I couldn't even afford is.... Very scary to me. To be honest even living on the kind of apartments people of your wage live in scares me. I feel like I'm totally using you by moving into an apartment like that with you. And the people already say that I'm using you, I don't want to give them more to talk about. "

That she's really so insecure because of some of the toxic fangirls that are way too obsessed with me really hurts me. I mean... She's my sweet angel and she is doing everything but using me. She's perfect the way she is and those toxic bitches really shouldn't affect her well-being. But apparently they do. 

"Hey, Babe. Look at me.", I mumble whilst wrapping my arms around her. "Don't think about the people, okay? They will always find a way to be mean. They're totally jealous because you have everything they don't but want to and they will always be mean, whatever you do. I'm sorry but you'll just have to deal with it. And you can be sure that I and everyone else who actually knows you know that you are definitely not using me. If you don't want to move into a house oflr fancy apartment with me because you feel uncomfortable with it I accept that and I'll be fine with that. But please don't let those people be the reason for you not wanting to do so because they aren't actually part of your or my or our life and therefore heir opinion does not matter at all."
Now suddenly tears fill Gigi's eyes and she starts sobbing quietly. Did I do something wrong and miss it? I didn't want to make her cry!

"Did I do something wrong?", I ask quietly whilst the tears also fill my eyes. I just really hate it when she cries, especially when it's my fault. But it doesn't seem to be my fault this time, Gigi shakes her head and then whispers: "No, not at all. Its just... You're too perfect for this world. Too loving, too cute, too whatever. And those words were exactly what I needed even though it's hard for me to really internalise it. Your fans and their comments... They always put this pressure on me, the pressure to be perfect. But you're right, I cannot be good enough for them, never. No matter what I do. And probably that's what's hurting me. I never got so much hate and especially not that publically and its really hard for me and I just don't want to give them even more reasons to come for me. Sometimes I kinda really wanna hide in my closet because of the things they say. " Whilst saying these words she still sobbs loudly which really breaks my heart. I knew it was hard for her but that hard? Oh lord, I wish I had known about it all to immediately show her that those toxic assholes are wrong and that she's perfect the way she is.

"Babe, you're enough! More than that, you're perfect. And I understand that it's hard to internalise it. But it's true. Those people are mean assholes and they don't say the truth. Don't listen to them, please baby. They're wrong with everything they say about you. You're perfect and you make me the happiest I've ever been. Happier I ever thought I could be.", I whisper whilst still holding her tight.

Gigi keeps crying for some more minutes and I just try to comfort her by holding her. Her sobbs and tears are so painful to hear and watch. I love this sweet angel so much, more than my own life. And knowing she ain't alright is very painful. Fortunately I manage to comfort her and so her crying stops after some time. Now she's just lying in my arms, totally exhausted. Then suddenly she finds her words back: "Kai... I... I'd really like to move jn with you for Christmas and the compromise with moving into another apartment next summer sounds great as well. A house still is too scary for me but making a beautiful apartment our home is a perfect idea and I can't wait for it. I love you Kai. I love you more than my own life."

"Really?", I ask and as she nods I whisper: "That's wonderful, Gigi. I really can't wait to build a home with you. I love you so, so much." before finally kissing her again. Out lips move in perfect sync and love and happiness fill every inch of my body.