One{°} Thinking Out Loud

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Gideon

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Gideon

┐( ̄ヘ ̄)┌

I woke up feeling dizzy. It was as a result of the hangover from last night. I had the beer bottles from yesterday laying somewhere around the floor. I drank awfully too much last night, I've never drank so hard in my entire life. I was just trying to drown myself with alcohol for sure.

Sulking? Yeah, for sure.

I struggled as I tried to get up from my couch and then staggered as I made my way to my bathroom. Reaching the bathroom, I rushed to the toilet seat where I fell to the floor, I crawled to the toilet seat where I eventually ended up throwing up.

I got up from where I was and then washed my face. Staring to the mirror Infront of me, I could not recognize the man that stood at the other side. His paled eyes, mourning face and bruised hands said it all.

What have I become? My head taunts me.

I walked out of the bathroom down to the window by the side of my bed and drew the cottons open. I allowed the light reflecting inside the room to sun bath me from where I stood. I closed my eyes and inhale deeply, feeling all the fresh air coming in through the window.

I could see the whole neighborhood from where I was. From where I was I could see the store just across the street where I made the beer purchase last night. The place was buzzing cause it was the holidays season.

I walked back to the bathroom. This time wasn't to vomit but rather to tidy myself up.

I took a refreshing bath, the warm water falling from my head down to my toes was enough to draw my senses back to me.

Just before I walked out of the bathroom,I glance once more into the mirror. I stared at the cross tattoo drawn on my chest for a while before further proceeded. It once used to be a reminder of my faith, but now it's just another body art like the rest. My life so far, is probably the tattoo of the dying tree by the side of my rib case.

I walk out of the bathroom, made my way down to a chair next to my bed, moved it over to the window side, sat just there watching all the buzzing outside from my window.

As I sat enjoying the comfort of the silence, my mind goes down to ponder about crazy shit stuff. Aside from the depressed thoughts in my head, I ponder a bit about an appointment I had some hours from now. I felt a bit troubled by the appointment ahead. Though it was just a mere invitation to some kinda party, I wasn't having a good feeling about it. Being honest, I wasn't the kind of guy that was fond of loud out door music, clubs with large gatherings and maybe this was enough reason to justify the feeling I was having.

Well, for sure I was this sulking willowing in his beer for comfort, I wasn't still really the club type. I preferred buying and having my beer in the privacy of my own my space; I wasn't even drinking to get drunk for pleasure and all that but rather to get my mind off my anxiety attacks and depression.

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