marvel women one shots

No longer better - W.M

Things where bad again, well they never really got better but this was worse. But this time no one could save me; I was alone just how I liked it. But sometimes I wish someone would notice because I know for a fact I don't have the courage to tell someone myself. So my options here are to get even worse to show to people that I need help without using worse or to get so bad that I isolate myself again and possibly worse.

I don't want to die I know it must sound like that but I don't in all honesty I actually love my love, even the bad parts when its not swallowing me whole. For example I love going on long morning walks after a restless night striving off only coffee. I love the feeling off beating sleep again and repeating the cycle. It gives me a new type of serotonin that I've never experienced before.

But at the moment the bad is out weighing the good. Meaning when I try t focus on school my intrusive thoughts invade my mind like an army going into battle and with no sleep my body has no energy to fight against it so I let it submerge me over and over again till no air is In my lungs.

But honestly I don't want to die I swear no more lies I do want to live and see what my future holds. I want to make hot coco my the fireplace on Christmas with all my friends I want to have a family or a dog but its getting more difficult.

I have everyone at the compound convinced that I'm okay but Wanda Is catching onto my lies. I haven't been sleeping in fact I haven't slept in days and I haven't been eating well meaning I am constantly stumbling around from the dizziness.

I walked into the main room where everyone was watching a film and stumbled over my own two feet and hit my head on the floor.

"ouch shit"

Everyone got up and rushed to my side to check if I was okay.

Tony- "Friday check vitals"

Friday-"hydration levels high. No injury's however patient has not eaten in 3 days according to my scan and hasn't slept in 4 days."

Everyone looked at my shocked and worried but all my focus was on wanda she looked so sad and I knew it was my fault. I've really fucked up this time.

"come on honey let's get you some food, okay?" Yelena suggested as she helped me stand up. I wasn't hungry or tired but I knew I wasn't going to have a choice it was either willingly eat something or have a tube stuck in me and quite frankly I wasn't having a tube in me so eating it was. I was only going to eat a little anyway.

"do you want a sandwich or I can make a smoothie so u can drink it or something else?" Nat asked me as of us 4 girls entered the kitchen as the others stayed in the main room to give me some space. "sandwich please" I mumbled under my breathe.

Nat made me a sandwich but I only ate half of it but it was enough to satisfy them for now. "honey you need some sleep you look really tired."

I slowly trudged to the main room because we agreed to watch a film then I would sleep. We all split up around the different sofas but I styed with wanda. I felt safe with her.

They turned on (your favorite film) and about half way through I felt myself getting tired but I didn't want to leave wanda's side. I stayed there but subconsciously my head fell on her shoulder. She noticed and looked down at me smiling as I started to close my eyes.

"go to sleep hun it's okay" she whispered in my ear.

I curled up into a ball in her lap and buried my head into her head to protect myself from the light emitting off the tv.

I was out within a couple of minutes and the rest of the team noticed when they heard my light snores. Safe to say I couldn't sleep without wanda from that moment on. She is and always will be my comfort person.

A/N

so sorry for the lack of activity. My laptop broke again and i've been dealing with a lot of family issues meaning i am not currently living at home. I have also been dealing with a lot of mental health issues hence the kind of sad story. 

i will try to be more active but no promises for now please be patient with me:)

Make sure to look after yourselves and eat and sleep enough. Love you all have a good day/ night x