Fawns Heart

{Fifty-seven}

He began to sit up and placed his hands on my waist, "I need you to understand that I  really really like you, hell, I've literally loved you since you sat next to me in defence. And it burns a whole in my heart every time you pull away from me, every time you get close and then back off. It hurts to know that you can't trust me. And I know I've done shitty things, but like I said Fawn, you changed me. I've been trying to prove that to you ever since I arrived here. But you still can't trust me-" He began tearing up as he slurred his words, "And it hurts." His voice cracked.

"Draco-"

"We pinky promised." He began to cry.

"Draco, please take the potion so you don't completely spill your guts to me." I pleaded, not wanting him to regret anything he told me.

"I don't care anymore Fawn, you need to know." Tears still fell down his cheeks.

"Drink it." I sniffled back my own tears.

His eyes flickered around my face before he reluctantly gulped down the liquid. I watched his eyes as they changed colours slightly while he moved his head around, comprehending what he just said.

"Draco?"

"I- I'm sorry." He shook his head and hung it low.

"You don't need to be sorry, we need to talk about this. What ever this..." I motioned between us, "...is."

"Yeah, you're right." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking like he had deeply regretted blurting out those things.

"Now it's your turn to listen okay?" I smiled weakly as I wiped the tears away from his cheeks.

"Okay." He breathed, preparing himself for what I was going to say.

He looked like he was preparing himself for a nuclear explosion, his legs were crossed as he gripped his shins tightly, waiting for some kind of harsh impact.

"You were always a pretentious asshole to me during school. I hated you, every time I looked at you I wanted to throw a rock or my fist at that stupid smirk you always had plastered onto your face. Any time you made fun of my friends I wanted to push you down the moving stairs, I wanted you to understand how much you hurt all of us-"

"Fawn-"

"I said listen. Please."

He nodded for me to continue.

"But ever since you saved me from that god awful boggart, things changed. I saw you as Parkinson's puppet, someone she clung around to gain more attention. You looked miserable every single time she hung off you. And as much as I hated you, I pitied you. You were the one to pull us away from fights, you were the one who stopped my panic attack, you were the one who could change the atmosphere in an instant. I know you changed. I can see you've changed. I can feel you've changed. But Draco- I'm broken, I'm damaged, one more crack and I'm done for good." Tears began to spill down my cheeks.

"That's why I can't trust you. Because if I break again, I won't be able to be fixed." My mind was working on it's own, my mouth was moving freely with no barricades.

"Draco, ever since Fred, everything has changed. You're not the only one. I got better, my eating, my mental health, I'm scared that it's all going to change again. And I can't- I can't go back to the way it was, I can't do that to my father, to you, to myself."

"I can help you Fawn, don't you understand? I can help you, that's all I want to do. We pinky promised. I never ever want to hurt you, I never want to break you. I want to see you happy every single day. I need you to be happy." He sighed, taking my hands in his as he spoke.