Ndrv3 Oneshots(NO SMUT)

"Okay, Mr. Luminary of the-"

Kaito. Kaito. Oh my god, Kaito.

MR. SPACEMAN JESUS I LOVE YOU BUT LIKE- NO HOMO/HETERO BRO-

Anyways...Kaito oneshots/drabbles-

1. Everyone has a Bi girlfriend...and a gay robot... a pan astronaut-

"Alright! So...wanna get down and dirty, eh?" Miu asked suggestively, tugging on the collar of her already way-too revealing uniform.

"N-no?! Of course n-ot, Iruma-san! Please do not assume things for mE!" Kiibo tripped on some scraped metalwork, and promptly fell on his robotic behind.

Miu took that as her cue, got into doggy position, and leaned over the robot, ready to commit an unnatural intercourse w-

"Hey, Iruma! C-" The deep voice paused for a moment, and from that second on, the deep voice wasn't so deep anymore.

"UHGHGGAAAHHHHHHH-! UWHAGSGHAHHHHHH-!" Kaito panicked, his screeches reaching the ears of everyone inside out of Miu's Ultimate Lab.

"Ay! What the fuck are you doin', you idiotic shit show?! Get in or get out!l Miu shouted, standing up so quickly, Kaito had to shield his eyes to avoid being flashed.

"I- I think I'll leave, thanks-!"

"Please, stay! As offensive as it may sound, I do not wish to be left alone with Iruma-san!" Kiibo suddenly shouted, making Kaito's heroic heart break into tiny molecules.

"Ok, then! I won't leave you here!"

-

An awkward silence built up in the room, as Miu quietly locked the door to her lab.

"Thank you, Momota-kun. I appreciate your willingness to stay here." Kiibo said gratefully, making Miu whine in the corner.

"Hey! How the hell am I so bad compared to the astronaut with pecs that could put my tits to shame?!" She complained, making both males awkwardly sputter in confusion.

"Wah?!" Kaito couldn't even properly speak, his face heating up faster than a burning building.

Kiibo short-circuted, promptly falling off of the counter that Kaito had set him upon.

"Hm? The fuck did I say?" Miu asked.

Kiibo continued short-circuting, and to save his sorry soul, Kaito ran out of of the room, face buried in his hands.

"Tch! Weak virgins!"

"My body scan over your body tells me that you are just as much as a virgin as we are, Miu..." Kiibo muttered, his face on the floor.

Miu screeched in horror, tears drops bursting out, not thinking properly.(She isn't actually sad or anything, she's kinda like: 'who the (f word), and how the (f word)?!)

Not thinking properly enough, to know that Kiibo was bluffing. After all, even after an intercourse, there is no way to tell whether or not someone has lost their virginity.

2. Undeserving of everything but you, and death

The plan was already at full sail. With an incurable poison running through his veins, it wasn't like Kokichi could just drop the sails and row back, anyways.

"Momo...chan...? Are you okay...?" Kokichi asked, a dry cough threatening to make him collapse much more earlier than he was supposed to.

"Mh. It's you I should be worried about. Shit, you look like you wanna collapse..." Kaito muttered, hoisting up the petite boy into a carrying position that made said boy look like a 5 year old.