Ndrv3 Oneshots(NO SMUT)

E-excuse me! Mr. Phantom Thief!

Ship: implied Saioumatsu

TWs: Implied kidnapping, mentions of theft, and overwhelmingly stupid protagonist Kaede, along with a dense side-protagonist Shuichi

Why did they hire dense and stupid detectives? Nobody will ever know.

On a happier note, this is the 100th chapter! I surprised I made it this far without dying!(actually and mentally)

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3rd Person POV

Once again, it was a chase between Officer Akamatsu, Detective Saihara, and the Phantom thief. All over the media and news reporters were tracking down, and keeping tabs of the events, until they lost the 3 in the cool, evening air.

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Kaede's POV

Me and Shuichi originally had little to no stamina. Now, we definitely have more, but Shuichi's a little lacking. Makes sense, seeing how tired and out of breath he usually is. I think I'd feel bad for him right now if we weren't chasing after a wanted person...

A wanted person. Known mainly for kidnapping and petty to big robberies. Nothing more. It was why he was called the Phantom Thief. He stole from people to objects. The kidnappings were well thought through, and the robberies seemed more for fun than anything. It was so...confusing, to say in the least.

Short, at least less than 5'8, anyways, since I am. Purple hair and lavender eyes, that I swear get more lighter and glazed over each and every time i see him—.

We rounded multiple corners, twisted and turned everywhere, and Shuichi even got ahead of me because I took a faux turn! Man, I really hate modern technology sometimes...and people who use it well enough to make illusions...well, holograms, but you get my point.

Shuichi seemed to gain more speed with every step he took closer to the Phantom Theif, and soon enough, the two ran so far...I...am ashamed to say this, but I lost them.

Oh. Oh no. What is Kyoko-san gonna say when she finds out that he literal cousin lost the best detective in her precinct, and the guy she sees as a son?! She'll burn me alive!

I tried running faster, but I fell, and cried out as I hit a bump, and fell, hearing a very...unpleasant cracking noise.

I grunted, and let out a silent scream out pain. My throat was dry, my legs were burning, and my uniform was all ruined. I picked up my radio, and spoke into it weakly.

"Officer down. I repeat, officer down. I'm on 5317th avenue. Please, hurry. Detective Shuichi is alone. Over," I gasped, feeling the pain slowly make its way from my ankle to my whole leg.

"We're on our way, officer. Please remain calm, over." Kyoko answered back.

I didn't answer, and rest my head on the smooth pavement. It hurt badly. It was probably sprained. So...tired...rest...now...

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Shuichi's POV

I ran, and ran, and ran. The repetitive thinking is the only thing keeping me going...I can't give up now!

"Halt, Mr. Phantom Thief!" I yelled, chasing him down an abandoned apartment's stairwell.

"Nee hee hee! Trying the theatrics with me, Mr. Detective? Lucky for you, I graduated at the top of my class, with a specially made diploma for me! Being the best actor," he grinned, obviously lying through his teeth.

The only thing was, I couldn't tell what the lie was. 

"Falsehood," I gasped, as the chase continued outside in the cold, frigid air.

"Aww! amr. Detective thinks I'm lying to him? WAAAAAA! YOU'RE SO MEAN!" He cried.

Then, he took a side step, and I ran for nothing.

Until I felt something hit the back of my neck. I stumbled, and immediately looked back at the smug male.

I felt the back of my neck, and a blowdart was stuck on it. I felt my eyes droop, but I struggled to keep awake. I felt arms wrap around my waist from the back, but the sedative injected into me must've also done something to my reactive senses, because I didn't fight back. Instead, my eyes drooped more.

"Ah hahaha! A damsel in distress, saved by his foe! Oh, hoe woefully traitorous, this man may be! But thy soul's truths are the only ones thou shall believe..." He whispered to me, holding me in a dip.

The last thing I heard and felt was the Phantom Thief cooing over me, making small comments, and raking his hand through my hair.

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Kokichi's POV

Damn! I wish Kae Kae didn't fall! I like her and Shu-snack just as much as the next man, but c'mon! How did depressed emo detective ran faster than her?! Welp! Never mind, I'm not complaining! 

I hummed, playing with the...please, I wanna die laughing saying it, but...

I took a deep breath in, and said it in my head.

11 inch ahoge.

I burst into uncontrollable laughter, and shut up when I saw Shumai stirring. I guess I should tie him to a chair for the kidnapper effect and stuff!

"Mgh..h..." He started mumbling, and his eyes were peeking open. 

My eyes widened, and I put a blindfold over his eyes. One thing taken care of, at least.

I sat him down in a throne(yes, I got a throne made specially for my beloved Shumai), and pushed another throne next to him. I just used some super-duper heavy duty rope to tie Shu Shu up! Of course, it was only around the waist.

Now, for the final part?

I pushed a large throne, much larger than the other two, behind them, and sat down, feeling comfortable.

"Joker!" I called for my favorite subordinate.

I heard the most calculated footsteps I'd ever heard, and Joker, a tall man with green hair and eyes, grinned at me.

"Yes, King?" He asked, grinning ear to ear.

Hey, I taught him that!

"Could you be a dearie and set this up for me, my pumpkin?" I asked, using the fake, British motherly tone as an insult.

"Nah. I'd rather film it live with my own two hands. Suck it, Ma!" He blew a raspberry, and began recording.

"HEY!" I yelled at him, not prepared at all.

"What is up everyone! Before we start the video..." Joker paused.

"Disney's fast play will begin in 3...2...1..." The robot he had our mastermind of an inventor, Ace, make, began speaking, and we both burst into laughter, as he directed the camera at a passed out Detective.

"So! Let the video begin," He grinned, pointing the camera towards mwah! "As you all already know, I, am the Phantom Thief! Oopies! Did I forget to mention? I have your most prized detective, Shuichi Saihara! I'm coming for you next, Ms. Police Officer!" With that, the screen at the precinct faded to black, and the camera filming everything stopped.

"How was that for action, Mr. Detective?" I grinned.

He was awake by now, and looked oh SO terrified!

"I-i don't care!" He sputtered, looking at me with fear.

Damn, I love seeing that expression. Makes me feel happier to get direct attention sometimes, I swear.

"Aww...you have to love me, not hate me!" I whined, crashing into the restrained boy.

He huffed, frowning.

"I don't know why you chose me, for one, but asking me to love you? That's already more than the first offense," he said shakily.

"Welp! Come and take me away, Atua!" I spread my arms like an eagle's, and laughed sadistically, continuing. "We're gonna have so~ much fun together!"

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1233 words