Would your heart stop ( Jay x Matthew Big Mouth Jatthew Fanfiction )

Authors Note

||Season 5 Spoiler Warning||

Hey everyone,

I haven't updated this story for a while and that's actually because I have been doing some pretty exciting things. At the moment I am currently in the process of writing my very first official book. I'm not going to say too much about it for now but I am proud of the progress so far. This is why I haven't been active for any of my stories. Obviously I left this on quite a cliffhanger and I feel bad for leaving you guys hanging for so long. I know there aren't a lot of you but the few that have actually stuck around and enjoyed my writing mean the world to me.

Recently I've been feeling the urge to continue writing this story since I have so much planned for the storyline and am nowhere near done with Jay and Matthew. It's been hard finding the time or motivation but I will definitely be updating this story soon so don't worry to those that have been waiting, it shouldn't be too much longer. No matter how long it takes me I will be finishing this without a shadow of a doubt.

That brings me onto another point. I've been looking back onto the first few chapters and my writing has progressed so much since then. I also used the f slur quite a bit in the early parts of the story which I do regret. Back then I didn't understand the weight of that word and how some people may feel when reading it. As a member of the lgbtq+ myself I don't really like that word and if I included it I know it should have at least been censored. I also had a seemingly straight character say it with no form of backlash. At the time I had that character as fluid with their sexuality inside of my mind so I didn't see the problem with them saying it. I just felt the need to address that as I have mentally progressed since I first started writing the story.

I also have been feeling the urge to rewrite the first few chapters up to the standard I would now. Some new people have been finding my story and I don't want the start to reflect me as a writer and it would be an overall more positive reading experience for you guys if I changed it. The whole story would remain the same it would just be more structured and written better. If that's something you think I should do please let me know, equally if you hate that idea please tell me too. I may keep the original story how it is now and start another separate one with the new updated writing, that way if you prefer the original it is still there for you to read. I'm unsure at the moment but that's just something I have been considering. Whatever you guys prefer is most likely what I will decide on.

Another thing I wanted to mention is that IT FINALLY HAPPENED. Season 5 has managed to restore all of our hope. It had gotten to a point where I started to accept the fact that Jay and Matthew may never get together but Big Mouth turned around and proved me wrong. I could never be more happier for two characters. They deserve each other and are perfect together. I hope they remain happy for the seasons to come. They are my favourite ship on the show, even though I did start to love Jay and Lola. Jay and Matthew have just always felt right. They perfectly balance each other out and allow their difference to shine through. I love them both with my whole heart and the characters I've been able to build from them.

If you have read all of this story so far then you will know that the characters are a little different to the show because I have tried to make them my own in a way. My preferred genre of writing is tragedy because I like to portray all of the emotions and have something that people can relate to. Sometimes writing like that helps people to be seen or let's them pinpoint a certain emotion or experience. As the stories developed it has become very focused on Jay's mental health and struggle since his character is very self destructive. Matthew will become more of a focus too when I start to write again. Their relationship will be seen as a very important role in their lives and will be a major focus. Right now Jay is struggling and I mainly acknowledge that because it's hard to see a relationship when people are solely experience things like he is.

Anyway that is all I wanted to say. I really hope that you stay tuned and are excited for the updates to come. Please leave any requests or feedback since I love hearing from you guys and seeing how you feel about the story. I hope you are all staying safe and healthy. Drink plenty of water, get a good amount of sleep and eat well if you can. Remember that you are worth so much no matter what and if things are getting too much for you to handle you can always reach out for help. I'm always here if anybody needs to talk. Have an amazing day. Love you all!