Would your heart stop ( Jay x Matthew Big Mouth Jatthew Fanfiction )

The weekend long party part 5

Jays pov
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I wish I had known that Matthew was stood there sooner. He probably thought that I was pathetic and hated me, I honestly wouldn't blame him. I wasn't sure what else to do so I carried on sobbing into my knees when another person burst through the door. It was Missy and she was panting. She bent over and held her knees for a second so she could catch her breath before continuing. I looked at her to see her face riddled with concern.

"Jay! Thank god that I found you, are you ok? I saw the whole entire thing! I wanted to help but I didn't know how and I was scared. God I can't imagine how you must of felt!" Missy was trembling as she spoke.

Matthew and Jessie stared at each other not knowing what to do or say because no one really knew what was happening.

"Why do you feel bad for him, he's the one that cheated! Someone tell me what's going on?" Matthew demanded.

In that moment my heart sunk and all I could think about was that word 'cheated.' Was it true? I mean did I really cheat? I didn't enjoy the kiss at all and I was desperately trying to get away. Not only because of Matthew but because Aidan gave me a weird feeling in my gut. Still the thought that Matthew saw it happen and the pure envy he must of had. He couldn't believe I would actually cheat. Surely after everything he would realise that I only had eyes for him, I've only ever had eyes for him. I knew what was going to happen next, Missy always rambled on about everything. She would tell them everything and I didn't want them to know. I would rather Matthew think I cheated than think any less of me because of this. Maybe it was all my fault. Maybe everything would be better off if I wasn't here.

"I was going to get a sugar free cranberry juice when I saw that Aidan was talking to Jay. I thought it was weird that they would be speaking but then I realised that Jay wasn't paying attention and looked like he wanted to leave. Jay spilt some beer down his chin so Aidan wiped it off and was staring at his lips. I could sense that Jay was uncomfortable and was about to walk off when Aidan kissed him. That's when I clocked Matthew, he saw it happen and immediately ran off. Jay stood there in shock but then began to push Aidan away and he was shaking his head trying to get free. Aidan was pushing him back into the kitchen counter. He then pinned him down and grabbed one of Jays wrist tightly whilst he felt Jay up with his other hand. I wanted to help because Jay look scared and like he was panicking. Aidan was rubbing up against him and going really far with it so I was going to try and find Jessie or Andrew or anyone to help. That was when Jay finally pushed him off and I could slightly hear them talking. Aidan wanted to be a rebound and Jay said that he was still dating Matthew. Aidan being an absolute sleaze tried to kiss Jay again. Jay ended up running away before he was able to. I could see Jays face full of more fear than I have ever seen. My confidence finally took place when I decided to shout at Aidan. I was walking up to him when I saw him pick up his phone. He had recorded the entire thing! Probably to show Matthew so that you two broke up." Missy was out of breath from how much she had just spoken and started to pant again.

"That was a lot to process." Matthew turned to me and just stared into my eyes.

My cheeks felt hot as they turned a bright red. I couldn't speak out of shock and fear. I looked down trying to avoid Matthew from reading me. Hearing Missy say it out loud made it clear that it was Aidan in the wrong. Then why do I still feel like it's all my fault? Why do I feel like I'm to blame? That I could of done more to prevent it or that if I wasn't being an idiot and just talked to Matthew that this whole situation would of been avoidable? I felt like I had let Matthew down and that he probably hated me. I just wanted this hell of a weekend to end. I mustered you some courage to speak.

"I... I'm sorry it's all my fault... I should of stopped him. I tried I really did but... he just wouldn't let go... I-I asked so many times... why didn't he let go..." I said through clenched teeth and tears.