Would your heart stop ( Jay x Matthew Big Mouth Jatthew Fanfiction )

Confessions

Jays POV
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I didn't even remember falling asleep but when I woke up all I could notice was that Matthew had already gone. I asked Jessie if she knew anything but she just shrugged. Damn he must of been upset last night. Everyone eventually woke up so we decided to make breakfast. Everyone was sat around the table. "Hey jay? Last night I heard Matthew say something about you not holding his hand. I was wondering if you were ok because he said he wanted to make out with you and then that." Missy asked sweetly. "Yes he's just all over me you know. I'm not gay that's gross and bad and I'm not bi either so" I said brushing her off. "Why is being gay bad? We all like Matthew and he's gay." Nick questioned. "It's just bad, I don't know why it is" I was trying to end the conversation as I didn't want all the heat on me. "What's bi anyway?" Andrew asked me. "Um it's when you like boys and girls..." I mumbled uncomfortably. "Wait that's a thing? You can like both?" Andrew said shocked. It was as if I just said there was a cure for cancer. I couldn't help but chuckle. "If any of you were bi or gay, even you Jay. I would accept you no matter what" Jessie said smiling at me. Obviously she knew I was bi so she was just trying to get me to feel better which helped a bit. "Yea Jay it you are bi it doesn't matter we accept you" Missy added. "I'm not bi ok can everyone just shut up about it already!" I burst out instantly regretting raising my voice. Everyone was used to my sudden out bursts by know so they just carried on with other conversations.
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Matthews POV
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It was late and I was getting ready for bed. Jay didn't come the night after the sleepover for some reason but I was glad. It was now Sunday night and I was about to go to sleep when I heard that familiar tapping. I sat by the window and looked at so slightly they Jay didn't notice. He looked sad as I never took this long to answer. I had to restrain from going with him. I couldn't re enter this confusing cycle where no one wins. It wasn't what I wanted and I feel like deep down it's not way Jay wanted either. I turned off my lamps so that Jay could see and hopefully leave. Jay frowned and nodded before accepting what had happened and walked off back home. It was hard to refuse Jay but it had to be done. We were messing around with each other's feelings. Even though it had only been a week I had a feeling deep down. It suddenly all clicked. I was in love with him. That's why I had to let him go because I cared too much. I know I'm only in the 8th grade and have never felt love before but if I knew what it felt like, it would be this. We have been close for ages and it was gradual. I want suddenly in love with him the second we kissed I had just over time grew to love the beautiful person he was. That's what made it even harder to let go but it had to be done. I know I've sad that before but this time it really was it until Jay was ready to be public.
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Jays POV
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I got up at 6:30 am, I hadn't slept all night again. I couldn't stop thinking about how I felt when Matthew wouldn't open the window. I wasn't sure why I mean we had a slight argument but I gave him a day to cool off. Besides that was their dynamic, they fought and then made up. I guess not this time.
Once I was at school I'm bumped into Matthew. "Hey, did you hear there's a big assembly after school?" I asked him awkwardly. "Yea I did, are you skipping it?" Matthew said just trying to make conversation. I knew all he wanted was to go and hang out with Jessie but he was too polite to leave. "I'm not sure yet. Anyway I have a detention so I've got to go" I said whilst smiling and walking away. That was the worst. We have both damaged our relationship so much that we couldn't even go back to being friends. This is what I was scared of in the first place. I didn't want our friendship to end. I cared more about Matthew then what my friends suddenly thought and I looked back at that day we were all sat eating breakfast. They all agreed that they would except me not matter what. In that moment I knew what I had to do ready or not. This was way above whether I was ready. The person I loved depended on it and I would do anything to fix that.
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Matthews POV
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Everyone was shuffling into the sports hall ready for this assembly. It was probably something boring about how we needed to be more careful with our basketballs or we will get pink eye again. I wasn't really paying attention as coach Steve spoke. Suddenly a robot like voice began to blast out of the speakers. "I am sorry, I know I was being dumb before but I wasn't sure what to do. We have been friends for longer than I can remember and I was scared to loose you. I pretended I was scared about what everyone else would think but that was a cover up. I pretended because I knew if I lost you I could never go on. Your so much more to me than a friend or someone I've kissed a few times. That place I take you, I've never taken a single person there other than you. It's my spot we're I can truly be alone but I showed you because I trust you and yes I am still scared. Terrified actually but I feel safer when I'm with you. I know there's no way for us to be together unless I take this step. I am so scared because once it's out there I can never take it back but I need to show how much you mean to me because I want to hold your hand" that part made me shivers crawl down my spine. The whole thing was oddly specific and sounded like... but it couldn't be. No he's not even here. He's not ready. He would never do that. Surely? Jay stepped out from behind the protecter. "Because I'm... in love with you. I always have been it's just taken loosing you for me to realise really how much. So will you hold my hand, will you say you love me too?" Jay paused and everyone in the room was now staring at Jessie in awe. They were moved by Jay's words but they were wrong about who they were for and I knew it. I slowly made my way over to Jay without anyone noticing. "Will you be my boyfriend Matthew?" Jay said finally finishing what he was saying. Everyone's eyes widened as they gasped staring at us. I grabbed Jay's hands "I love your more than anything in this world, it has taken me letting you go because your not ready to realise how much and yes. Yes I will be your boyfriend." I said as I jumped into his arms and pressed my lips against his. I kissed him deeply and ignored everyone else in the room. As we both pulled away Jay began to speak again. "I am bisexual, I am not gay. I like boys and girls. In particular I like Matthew. It doesn't matter the gender or the appearance it matters what's inside you. Your personality and what makes you, you. If anyone has a problem with that you can suck my dick!" Jay yelled as he paused "Actually I guess I have someone else to do that for me" he winked at me as I blushed. Everyone stared clapping and cheering and chanting. "Ugh this is so cliche I hate it" I remarked whilst laughing. "You know you love it and apparently me" Jay smirked as he grabbed my hips and pulled me into another kiss. At that point he finally admitted in front of everyone that we were in love. Everything was starting to look up from this.

At least that's what I had hoped.