Would your heart stop ( Jay x Matthew Big Mouth Jatthew Fanfiction )

Support

Matthews pov
___________________________________

My body felt all fuzzy and numb as I tried to hold back tears. I looked down to my hands that were. Holding some white tulips for Jay. I placed them down as my hands brushed the cold hard surface. My eyes wondered as I scanned his name. 'Jay Bilzerian' My heart was aching as all the love I had for him remained. It had been a week since I found him like that and it never got any easier. Everything felt way more quiet and alone without him. I couldn't survive without seeing him. I placed my hand down.

"Jay please come back to me, I need you. My life isn't the same and it's because you haven't been in it. I never thought I would be saying this but I miss your dumb magic however annoying it gets. I miss your dirty and occasionally offensive jokes. I miss your rich black hair that I would brush my fingers through. I miss your smile and the way it lights up a room. Most of all I miss the person I am when I'm with you. You have made me feel things I never had before. You made me a better person. So why would you want to leave me, leave all of this? Why would you do that to me. To grow up alone in this dark cold world where you are the only light." I sobbed as I spoke.

My feelings became overwhelming life a wave before a tsunami. My hands were as cold as ice and the only warmth I felt was from the memories I was reminiscing in my head. Truly everything had turned to shit but good came from it too. Andrew has become more confident in himself and he and Missy ventured their new relationship. Missy had also published their book leaving a special page dedicated to Jay. Nick was busy doing something with his parents that he couldn't tell us yet. Jessie has been mending her broken relationship with her mum. It would take a while but they were trying really hard. It was true that Jay's family were gone for good as they returned for a day only to pack the rest of their bags before leaving again. As for me I spent all of my time visiting this place. It was depressing and sad but I enjoyed talking to him. I had been in school because if I wasn't kept busy I would break down for good.

"You really were a magic person Jay, goodbye." I said as I went to leave.

Suddenly I felt something weakly grab my wrist. I stood in shock for a moment before slowly turning around. I took in the sight before me. Speechless wouldn't even describe how I felt.

"And for my greatest trick yet, I survived bitches." Jay whispered as loudly as he could manage before batting his eyes open.

He was extremely weak but I couldn't help jumping at him and wrapping my arms around his neck. I placed a thousand kisses all over his soft face as he let out a quiet laugh. My eyes met his as we stared deeply at each other. We could tell how much we missed each other. I was just glad he was safe and back in my arms. My hand brushes away a piece of his soft hair. His thumb rubbed my chin slowly as we leaned in. When our mouths met it felt like a thousand fireworks had exploded in my body. I was never happier than with him. My smile deepened into the kiss as he weakly attempted to deepen it as well. I pulled away.

"You asshole. Why did you do this! You have me and you know that so why would you leave me." I cried out to him.

I could tell he was thinking about something by his facial expression. He had slightly sat up a bit now and looked me in the eyes.

"I'm sorry." He said as he let out a sigh.

"Sorry? You started talking about my future without you and I have never felt more alone. Jay I want to grow old with you. You have gone through way more than someone at your age should but we can get through this. Together. Why would you do something so awful? How did it get so bad that you decided this was your only option?" I rubbed his cheek softly as I stared at his messy hair.

He didn't speak for a little while. I took it as a sign of exhaustion and told him about what had happened. That after the ambulance took him away they managed to restart his heart. When I was giving him CPR it was still beating but ever so slightly that you wouldn't be able to notice. Next to no oxygen was getting to his brain and it was minutes before his body would of shut down completely. The mixture of my chest compressions and him clinging on for dear life saved him. It kept his heart beating just enough so that when they took him in the ambulance he wasn't dead yet. The trauma of the medication had put him into a coma that they weren't sure he would wake up from but I always had hope. They pumped his stomach and took the reminder of the medicine from his system.