Would your heart stop ( Jay x Matthew Big Mouth Jatthew Fanfiction )

The date

Jessie's POV
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As I was walking down the hall in search of Matthew I saw him sat on a bench. I took a seat beside him. "Matthew I really need to talk to you" I whispered whilst looking to see if anyone was near. "Omg Jessie just who I wanted to see, I have something to tell you too!" He grabbed my hands. I presumed he was going to tell me how they kissed because I always knew deep down that Matthew had a crush on Jay. It was probably because in maths he used to alway say "he's cute right, dumb but like dumb sexy in a way." I just never thought they would act on it so I kept quiet. "You know when we were shopping for a gift for Lola a week ago? Well I met this cute guy named Aidan and he texted me asking me on a date!" He squealed. I slightly panicked but decided to stay calm as I didn't even know his answer. "What did you say?" I asked concerned for Jay. "Are you dumb? I said yes of course. We are going out tonight" he said giggling. Shit. Jay and Matthew were both so dumb. It was obvious they both really liked each other but they were being stupid. I love Matthew but they have one fight and he instantly goes on a date with another guy. "What about- never mind have fun" I said putting on my best excited face but Matthew saw right through me. "What about who?" He said confused. I couldn't let him know I knew about Jay because I didn't want to make the situation worse. "I was just thinking about how great you are single but it doesn't matter. Go have fun on your date" I held his shoulder and smiled genuinely this time. I couldn't bare to see Jay being hurt but I knew I wouldn't be able to stop Matthew. Once he's set on an idea you can rarely change his mind.
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Matthews POV
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The school day went by very fast, luckily every time I was near Jay he avoided me. I was just going to have to push my feelings deep down and forget about him. I mean we were only in the 8th grade we are still confused. He's probably confused about his sexuality too much to handle dating. It was for the best and I knew it. It just hurt a lot not only not being able to give it a go but we weren't friends anymore. We had a friend enemy dynamic that was built off of sarcasm and the occasional joke. No one really thought we were but we actually were pretty close. Neither of our parents cared about us so that brought us pretty close together. We also had a lot of the same classes so it was nice having someone to help pass the time. Anyway I needed to forget about Jay and start getting ready for my date with Aidan. I didn't know much about him but that's what dates are for, anyway he's cute and open so this is a good thing. It didn't take too long to get dressed so I just sat on my bed until I got a text. 'I'm outside come whenever your ready' Aidan messaged me. He probably assumed my parents didn't know, which they didn't. He waited outside to be on the safe side which I was very glad about. I quickly said goodbye to my mum even though she probably wouldn't of noticed if I was gone anyway. I leapt out of the door and went towards my date. There was slight chatter and a comfortable silence as we walked to the cinema. We ended up going to see this new romantic movie which during Aidan ended up holding my hand. If was a perfect date but I felt something uneasy in the pit of my stomach I wasn't sure what it was.
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Jays POV
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I knocked on the door as I was greeted my a brown haired women. It was Jessie's mum, she hesitantly smiled whilst letting me in. She was probably still annoyed at me from when me and Jessie ran away together but I didn't mind a few glares. Being this obnoxious will get you a few of those anyway. I opened Jessie's door and slammed my entire body face first into her bed. "Jay I'm kind of getting changed" she giggled whilst putting on her shirt. "I'm sorry I forget that I like girls too, I mean all I can think about is Matthew! I don't have time to focus on girls" I said, my voice was muffled by the bed sheets. "Your really worked up over him huh?" She frowned. I turned over my body so I was now laying facing the ceiling. "I don't know what it is about him. It's a mixture of everything actually, he's just perfect. Not perfect as in general perfect but he was perfect to me. Fuck it perfect for me. I messed this up just like I messed my relationship up with you and every other relationship I've been in. No offence but I've never been with someone and felt this way. It just feels right you know? We weren't even dating yet we had just admitted we had feelings for each other. If only stupid Kurt and Val didn't beat me up, this wouldn't of happened" I groaned loudly. Jessie sat on her bed beside me and stroked my hair in a comforting way. I was glad there were no feelings still there. We were purely friends and I liked it that way. It was like we were platonic soulmates. "I'm so sorry Jay, if I could do anything to make it better I would but I can't. There is something I have to tell you." She paused. I sat up and searched her eyes for a hint. "What is it? I asked. "I'm only telling you this because I care so much about you and don't want you finding out the wrong way and getting hurt... Matthew is on a date right now with this guy he met at a shop. His name is Aidan and they found each other cute so they decided to you know go on a date. It's just one though and to be honestly I'm pretty sure Matthew is only on it because he's obsessed with the idea of a public relationship." I just sat there, numb. My heart broke to say the least. How could I feel this strongly for a guy I've only kissed a few times. That's when it clicked, he was so much more. He was my support system, someone I turned to about my family issues. All those feelings I felt before we kissed that I just assumed was admiration was way more than that. I've had feelings for Mathew for as long as I could remember. I just didn't realise it then. Well maybe I did but I couldn't admit to myself that I liked a boy. I had fucked everything up. It was too late. I just had to accept the consequences. It wasn't till I was in Jessie's arms that I realised I had started to cry. There was no point saying anything else as it wouldn't change anything so I just hugged her. She was a great person being there for me. She wasn't as bubbly as she used to be but I thought it was because of her parents divorce. Now that I thought about it, it was way more than that. We were laying down on her bed staring at the ceiling as she had her arm around me still comforting me. We hadn't spoken in over an hour so I broke the silence. "Hey, you haven't been yourself recently. I know you've been busy helping me but is something going on?" I asked tilting my head slightly to her. Her eyes were glistening hinting tears but they never came. Jessie was strong and wouldn't let me see her weak. Not when I was in this state anyway. "I'm fine I just have a lot going on right now. My parents divorce and just hormones I guess." She sighed. "Puberty is the worst" I chuckled. "Yea it really is" she said. I turned my head back up looking at the ceiling as I laid my head on Jessie's shoulder. It was weird that for so long I wished for nothing more than to date Jessie and be sat with her like this but now that it was happening it just made me realise how much we were meant to be friends. I was so lucky to be her friend and I knew she thought the same about me. We both started to drift off to sleep. I was exhausted considering I hadn't slept at all the night before and I sensed she wasn't getting much sleep lately too. I set off dreaming about Matthew and she was probably dreaming about Nick or something. She would never admit it but I knew there was still something there. It was only 9:00 but it didn't matter. There we were fast asleep with eyes wet from tears. The pain slowly left our faces as we dreamt.
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Matthews POV
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I looked down at my watch and saw it was 9:00 already. The movie was 2 hours long and we ended up getting something to eat afterwards but it still felt like we weren't out for long. We talked about our interests and it turned out we had a lot in common. We both liked commenting sassy remarks and stirring drama. Even though it was fun it felt like something was missing. We are too much alike I thought, like that pair of gay best friends that sat there gossiping about some drama. It didn't really feel that much like a date plus we didn't stop talking about Jessie and his friend which I forgot the name of. The date drew to an end. It was time to say goodnight. "I had a lot of fun" Aidan said scratching the back of his neck. "Yea me too" I smiled. I was about to say something else as he lent in and kissed me. It was very short and that was it. It had answered all of my questions. That kiss felt nothing like the pure joy and wonder I felt whilst kissing Jay. It felt like an awkward kiss your grandma tried to give you when she visited. Damn I made a mistake, I didn't like Aidan. Well at least not like that. "Sorry I was just testing it out" Aidan laughed nervously. "Um what did you think..." I asked begging he felt the same as me. "Nothing" he added. "Thank God, I think we got this all wrong. I think we are supposed to be just friends" I told him. "And we had to go on a whole date to figure it out" he yelled as we both burst out laughing. "Well at least we can stay friends without that 'what if'" I smiled whilst still chuckling. "Yea that would of been worse if we became best friends and convinced ourselves we somehow had feelings for one another" he said whilst smiling. It was comforting know we were both on the same page but what was I supposed to do about Jay. I wanted to leave it alone because I knew it wouldn't work out but that was when I had hope for Aidan. This was a right mess. Me and and Aidan said our goodbyes and ended up waking home. I woke up the next morning, got ready and headed straight to school. I was excited to tell Jessie about the whole situation with Aidan. She had seemed a bit off lately and I thought this story might cheer her up. As I was walking I felt someone behind me start to catch up with me. He tried to make it not too obvious he was trying to walk beside me so I pretended not to see. It was Jay. His body was still covered in marks left by his horrific brothers. I wanted to get back at them more than anything but I knew I would never be able to without almost dying so I pushed away that thought. "About yesterday I'm sor-" Jay cut me off. "Heard you went on a date yesterday" he said with no emotion. I was confused. "Who told you?" I asked, I knew it was Jessie and I didn't mind I was just confused why. "I slept round Jessie's and she mentioned it briefly. I mean we were busy doing other things." He said again with no emotions. Doing what other things I thought. I mean they told us they were just friends now and wouldn't date again. Was he trying to make me jealous? Jessie didn't know I liked Jay so I couldn't blame her if they were together but it didn't hurt any less. I was uspet so I just went along with what Jay was saying "yea I went on a date. What's it to you?" I snapped back. "Nothing I don't give a shit I was just trying to make conversation. Bet you two really enjoyed being all openly gay together" he spat out shaking he head. He had a slightly hint of anger appearing on his face. "Oh yes we loved every minute of it. Especially when we got to kiss, you know in front of people." I said taunting him. I just couldn't believe that he could change up so quickly. Everything was happening so fast and we just both got angry too quickly. That's why we were friends in the first place. We bonded over our family trauma and how it effected us. Deep down I knew I always felt something more but it wasn't until we kissed that I knew for sure. Anyway I ignored it because I never thought he would feel the same. "Why don't you just go shove your dick inside his then!" Jay shouted right before he stormed off into the school building. He really didn't know much about how dating guys worked. I guess I now had to not only pretend I was dating Aidan to Jay but I had to pretend my date went well to Jessie. I wasn't sure what was going on between them and I didn't want to know. I would just try not to bring it up to her because I'm not even sure I'm supposed to be aware.