Would your heart stop ( Jay x Matthew Big Mouth Jatthew Fanfiction )

Fighting Feelings

There it was. The pain. Feeling the sun sink it's teeth into the unholy depths of my skin. Piercing my retinas in a way no beauty could tarnish. Hell like fire prickling the very tips of my temples. Just like that Judd was right. I may not be dead but god I feel like I should be. I prayed that everyone would pass by and just let my sleepless corpse decay. Nothing could be worse then having to get up when you feel this ill.

"Jay." Matthew whispered gently.

Groaning, I tossed over to my other side. This was a big mistake as my stomach turned in a way that was criminal.

"Jay." Little taps were placed onto my forehead.

I seethed in the pain at those violent attacks against my bruised skin. Matthew was one to get inpatient very quickly. This was made clear as he tossed a pillow in my direction. If my body had the capability I would have screamed right then and there. Not caring for one second who could hear. Again my stomach turned against the sudden jolts. Movement stirring something inside of me. Without a pause for breath, I raced to the bathroom. Emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet. Flushing it all down quickly before Matthew could even glance at what had been done.

"Jay are you ok?" He called from outside the door. "Can I come in?"

"No!" I screeched hoarsely.

My throat stung still from the combination of powder and stomach acid. I could taste it all too well inside my throbbing mouth. Pain spreading all the way inside of my sinuses. Matthew tried to enter but I pressed my foot up snug against the door. Making another array of awful noises as more and more came up. Heavy steps echoed throughout the hall. I recognised them to be Diane's feet.

"Morning Matthew, is Jay up?" She sung in her usual happy tone.

"He's sick." Matthew told her, their voices muffled by the mixture of the distance and me throwing up.

"Jay sweetie," delicate taps played on the door. "Are you feeling ok?"

"When I woke up this morning he was shaking. I thought it could just be night sweats but he looks really ill." Matthew had a hint of concern in his voice.

"Perhaps it's too soon for him to be going back to school. Maybe yesterday was a bit much for him." Diane sighed.

I needed the sense of normality in my life. Although yesterday was really difficult to get through, it was even harder being cooped up in the house all day alone. It gave me more time to think about everything. I just needed a distraction and school was perfect for that.

"I'm fine." I yelled, my throat raw.

"It's ok if it's too much for you. We can ease you back into school if you'd like." Diane tried for the handle.

Before she could reach the door I flushed and opened it myself.

"Don't worry, I think I'm just a little dehydrated. No need to miss school." I reassured her.

"If you're really up for it." Her eyes shifted to mine as I nodded.

Entering the school was still nerve racking but there were a lot less stares than yesterday. I guess this school really does get over things quickly. Their attention probably laid with some random fight that happened this morning. Matthew reached for my hand and I subconsciously pulled away. I don't know why but my skin hurt too much to be touched right now. Before he could say anything I rushed off to see Missy.

"Hi Jay, how're you feeling?" She smiled.

"I'm fine. How's the writing coming along." I asked.

"Pretty good. Would be better if I had my co writer beside me though." She nudged my shoulder.