Would your heart stop ( Jay x Matthew Big Mouth Jatthew Fanfiction )

The sleepover

Jays POV
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I left my house ready to go to Andrews. It's great being able to go anywhere I want whenever I want but for once I just wish I had parents that cared or that I needed permission to go out. At least I get to spend some time with my friends, I've been going through a lot right now and a sleepover will be really fun. I hate that I have to sit with Matthew knowing that he hates my guts. I have to just try to be happy at least. As soon as I arrived at Andrews house I knocked on the door. Andrew, Jessie, Nick and Matthew were already there. Missy was busy tonight and we didn't really have anyone else to invite so I guess this is everyone. "Hey guys what are you doing" I said. "Hey! We are just talking, come sit with us" Jessie smiled waving me over. Nick looked so upset to see us sat next to each other. I couldn't let this go on any longer I mean Nick is my best friend. Just as Nick was about to bring our relationship up again I interrupted him. "Guys you are all so gullible. Me and Jessie only said we were dating as a joke. We are best friends do you really think we would ruin that by dating again" I said whilst fake laughing. Jessie nodded and started laughing too. I looked at Nick and he smiled, he looked so happy that he still had a chance. I glanced at Matthew too. He looked hopeful, that same happy hopefulness Nick looked. It's so weird because why would he care. I need to stop looking at him though I can't let it be obvious. The room was silent. "I have an idea, let's play a game" Jessie said as she led us into a small cupboard. "7 minutes in heaven but the rules are changed up. Instead of just kissing you can share secrets, hug, resolve any issues or problems you have with each other...." she stared at me. "Good idea Jessie, lets all point at the two people we think should start" Andrew said as if it was rehearsed. Before I knew it Nick, Andrew and Jessie all pointed at me and Matthew. They quickly ran out of the cupboard and locked the door. I should of known it was a trap. "Guys come on let us out" I yelled. "Not until you guys make up and become friends" Nick shouted back. I could hear them all walking off upstairs to watch a movie. Great. The one person I wanted to avoid had to be locked in a small cupboard with me. I mean he hated me and I wanted nothing more than for us to be together. "I know I'm the last person you want to be with right now but we are going to have to at least try and not argue until they let us out, I mean they can't leave us in here the entire night" Matthew said sighing. I mean he was right but I think I could use this time to resolve everything. Me and Matthew sat at opposite ends of the cupboard staring at each other. "I'm sorry about everything" I said looking down at my legs. "You know what no, you have said too much hurtful stuff too many times. I am not ok with you treating me like shit and then just turning around and say sorry." He looked furious as he spat out those words. "I know but I'm trying to-" I tried to explain as he cut me off. "Explain? Are you joking me? That night when we played smooch or share that kiss was magical. I know it was my first kiss and I had nothing to compare it to but it felt really special. I know that kisses don't just feel like that and then later on when we kissed again and you pushed me away. It hurt a lot. I thought you felt the same way about the kiss. I obviously know now that you don't. I know something is up because after you shouted at me I heard you crying in the toilets. Why would you be that upset if you meant what you said?" I was speechless. I mean everything he said was true. I couldn't let him know he was right though. "You have no clue what you are taking about, fag" I said. You could see the look in his eye change to pure, fiery anger. I force once felt scared of him. I was about to speak as he launched a fist at my face. I felt him hit my jaw, he was stronger than I thought. I didn't want to hurt him but I couldn't help but get angry too. I jumped at him causing us to land on the ground. We wrestled and kicked and punched until I was on top of him. I had pinned his legs down with my legs and his arms with one hand. The look in his eye was pure fear. I could tell he regretted punching me and that he thought I was going to do some serious damage. He was struggling trying to get free. My face got closer to his as he smacked his head up and head butted me. I just glared down at him. "Stop trying to fight me because you will never win" I said, every word my face getting closer to his. He spat up at my face, I looked away and whipped it with my free hand. I angrily grabbed his face and looked into his eyes. Those eyes that I could look at forever. I couldn't hurt him I cared so much about him. Without even thinking I let go of his hands and angrily kissed him. I pulled away to look at his reaction. He looked really confused and kind of startled but after a few seconds he grabbed my face and pulled me back down into the kiss. It felt like hours had gone by. He's pushed his fingers threw my thick black hair and I couldn't help but smile. Eventually I pulled away for air. I didn't want to but because of how stuffy the cupboard was I had to. We laid on our backs next to each other for about 10 minutes. "Matthew, look I know what I said earlier was hurtful but before that I meant what I said. I couldn't bare to see you get hurt... it broke me. When I saw those guys about to punch you and when I saw you crying and shaking from fear, I felt like I was going to cry. I had to protect you. The truth is I care about you a lot. It's hard to say but it's true. That kiss was the first time I've ever felt something. Every time I am near you I can't help but want to be with you. The fact I can't makes me angry and lash out on you. I couldn't accept myself so I took it out on you and I'm sorry" we both turned our bodies to face each other.
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Matthews POV
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I felt like there was more to the story but I never thought Jay would of liked me to. That kiss was just as magical as the first. I didn't know what to do because I knew he would never be seen with me in public. As much as it hurt I knew we couldn't be together. I started stroking his face. "Hey, it's ok. I never thought you would of liked me but I feel the same. I just couldn't tell you because every time we talked you pushed me away." I said scanning his eyes. "I knows I'm so sorry but-" Jay was interrupted by the sound of the cupboard unlocking. We both stood up as quick as we could. "Did you guys sort everything out yet?" Andrew said staring at us. "I mean we aren't best friends but we can bare being around each other for tonight" Jay said nudging me. Of course he wouldn't tell them. I could kiss the dreams of us being together goodbye.
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Jays POV
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Me and Matthew stepped out of the cupboard to go upstairs. I wanted to tell them all everything, especially Jessie. I couldn't risk it though. I can't let anyone find out I like him and I hope he doesn't tell anyone else either. We ended up starting another game of smooch or share for some reason. There wasn't a lot of us but it was still kind of fun. I decided I couldn't kiss Mathew in front of anyone incase I wouldn't be able to stop. It was all done until Nick asked me who I liked. "What me? I don't have a crush on anyone." I said starting to panic. "What no girls that take your fancy" Andrew said. "Or boys?" Matthew winked at me. "What I'm joking" he said laughing. I felt like I couldn't breath. "Come on guys stop. You can choose smooch instead of you like Jay?" Jessie said smiling at me. I decided that I had no other choice but to choose smooch. I mean the chances of it landing on Matthew is next to nothing so it will be fine. As I flicked the bottle Matthew looked worried, he was starting at Jessie. Maybe he was scared it would land on her and that we might actually still like each other. I can't think about that right now, the bottle slowly came to a stop. Of course. It had to be. Matthew. Out of everyone here or managed to land on Matthew. "I'll just spin again" I said whilst grabbing the bottle. "I mean those are the rules, you aren't embarrassed are you Jay. We have done it before." Matthew was smirking. Obviously my panic was amusing to him. I mean I guess I deserved it after all I've put him through. "Ok fine fine jeez" I said as I crawled over to Matthew and pecked him very quickly. "That was pathetic dude. I'm not gay but I could do way better than that" Nick said laughing. Ok I can do this, do a semi normal kiss and pretend it wasn't ok. I hesitated and started at Jessie for help. Matthew rolled his eyes and grabbed my face. Every time our lips touched it felt like they were two puzzle pieces perfectly fitting together. It must have been a little while as I heard Andrew let out an awkward cough. I pulled away but stared into Matthews eyes for an extra 10 second before sitting back in my place. "Are you gay or something?" Nick said as he and Andrew laughed. "No I'm not, I would never like a guy ever. I just did what you guys asked." I bursted out and shouted at them. "I'm going to go to bed" Matthew frowned as he got up over to where he was supposed to sleep. Everyone decided that we should all go to bed so we could wake up early and do something fun the next day. Everyone left the room except Matthew, we were getting changed into our pyjamas and I couldn't help but secretly look whilst he was. I caught a glimpse and realised he was doing the same thing. We ended up sleeping next to each other but as everyone was asleep we just laid there staring into each other's eyes. I begin to run my fingers through his ginger, soft hair. He yawned and turned to face the other way. He still seemed a little off about me saying I wouldn't date a guy. I grabbed his hips and pulled him towards me, wrapping my body around his. I was the happiest I had ever been as Matthew fell asleep in my arms.