Would your heart stop ( Jay x Matthew Big Mouth Jatthew Fanfiction )

Nightly visits

Jays POV
____________________________________
You had to be fucking kidding me. Matthew and Aidan had a nice little day and as soon as I know it they will probably be bashing dicks and dating. I needed Jessie. I was way past the point to even cry anymore. I wasn't too angry either despite my outburst. I was just done with all this drama. One stupid kiss a few days ago and now there was a whole big thing. Jessie was stood at her locker with Missy. "Hey guys" I said smiling at them. "Hey Jay, hows it going?" Missy asked. "Everything's ok you know, my life isn't falling apart at all." I smiled at her. I really needed to think before I speak because that was so obvious. Missy just looked at Jessie uncomfortably. "That's good I think? I have to go sorry" Missy said whilst basically running off. I was used to scaring people away but I think this time it was just Missy being sensitive. "Please tell me you haven't talked to Matthew and made this any worse" Jessie cried out. "Your not going to like this. I kind of asked him about his date which went perfectly incase you were wondering. He asked how I knew and I said you told me." I paused and looked to her for an indication that she was listening. "That's not exactly bad, well except the fact his date went well." She said. "Yea exactly but that isn't the bad part. I kind of said 'I slept round Jessie's and she mentioned it briefly. We were busy doing other things'" I winced waiting for her reaction. "Other things? What other things?" She said freaking out. "I didn't say anything exactly I just implied you know relationship things like kissing or whatever. Anyway I told him to shove his dick inside Aidan's and walked off which I guess was pretty bad too" I mumbled hoping Jessie wasn't annoyed. She was thought and not because I implied we were kissing but because of the whole situation. "You two are idiots I can't believe it. What do you benefit from constantly insulting each other? You both clearly have feelings for each other, you even admitted it to one another. Why don't you both just stop being idiots and stop insult each other. You know make up and don't fight the next day for no reason?" Jessie shouted, it was a lot to take in but I mean she was right. "I hate it but your right, I think it's too late now. The whole reason this has happened is because I'm not ready for people to know I'm bi. I don't think anything can change that." I looked down at my feet. I was too focused on myself that I didn't consider Matthews feelings, we needed to sort this out for real.
____________________________________
Matthews POV
____________________________________
It was dark out and I was getting into my pyjamas as I heard a tapping sound coming from my window. I peered out to see Jay outside throwing stones at the glass. It was kind of freaky as I've never told him my address before. Anyway we were clearly both annoyed at each other and in an argument. I tried ignoring him but I was too tempted so I slid open the window. Jay looked up at me and made a gesture that he wanted me to come down. I knew I could probably of used the front door but I was caught up in the moment so I carefully climbed out of the window and on to the ground. Jay didn't say anything he just started walking. I stopped in my tracks but soon followed. All I could think about was what happened earlier. Oh god he was probably going to kill me. I was literally being led to my death. Weirdly I didn't even want to turn around, I was curious on where he was taking me. We finally stopped at a random abandoned place. I couldn't make out what it use to be because it was outdoors and piles of old items were everywhere. Wow this is probably were he was going to bury my body. I felt him coming closer to me so I just closed my eyed and swallowed hard. He picked up a bat and something ceramic from in front of me. I opened my eyes to the sound of him throwing it in the air and hitting it. The shards flew everywhere as it smashed. He handed me a second bat from behind me and threw a bowl in the air. I took the cue and whacked it as hard as I could. We continued smashing everything in sight. This was a great way to release all of my pent up anger. In this moment I was care free. There was no consequences for anything and I could just stand here with Jay and be free. After an hour had passed we started to talk back to my house. It was weird because Jay usually would never shut up but the entire time we were out he never spoke a word. We reached my front door. I smiled at him and nodded a thanks. Before I turned around Jay places a soft kiss on my lips and walked off. I was completed flustered and confused from what had just occurred. I mean we were fighting and he had just done all of this?
It was a few days later, every night since then the same thing would happen. Jay would come and they would walk over to that place, smash a few things and leave. Each time kissing before they went there separate ways. It was bizarre but I was just glad I could see him. I cared so much about him that it didn't matter. During school everything was back to normal and we were all hanging around in a group. It was now Friday so Andrew suggested we all slept round his. His parents were away on some trip that Andrew didn't know the location of. Anyway pretty much everyone was going Nick, Andrew, Jessie, Missy, Me and Jay. Everyone was up for a sleepover so as soon as school ended we all headed straight to Andrews house. When we arrived Andrew was fumbling around in the kitchen, he came out with a bottle of coke each and a pizza that he must of gotten delivered just before we all arrived. Everyone was sat in the living room eating the pizza and talking. "I think we should all play a game" Nick said whilst looking around at us all. "Yes that sounds so fun! I haven't played a game like this since the school sleepover!" Missy exclaimed excitedly. "There we got then let's play smooch or share" Nick suggested. I was hoping we didn't have to play that as I didn't want to kiss Jay in front of everyone. I had come to the conclusion that Jay only said something about him and Jessie to make me jealous but they all still thought I was kind of dating Aidan. "Let's put a twist on it, so someone whispers a question in your ear. If you decide to share the answer the question gets revealed. If you choose smooch no one knows the question and you have to spin the bottle to decide who you have to kiss" Jessie said very proud of herself. I loved the idea because if the question was too much I had an escape. Everyone ended up agreeing as the game began. Andrew started it off by Whispering a question to Missy. Missy was hyped up on sugar slightly so she didn't mind sharing the truth. "You" Missy said beaming. "Wait really?" Andrew asked which Missy then replied with a nod. "What was the question?" I asked curious to know. "I asked who Missy like liked" Andrew was now smiling widely too obviously pleased with the outcome. I turned to Jay who was being awfully quiet for him. I decided to try and cheer him up so I decided it was his turned next. "Do you want to go back to that closet we were locked in last week and kiss me all over again" I whispered into his ear so no one else could hear. I pulled away from him and smirked knowing what I had just done. Jay started to turn bright red and shot me a look that said 'really you had to do that.' Jay then proceeded with the game. "I guess I have to choose smooch" Jay said rolling his eyes at me and I pouted. We both let out a slight giggle as the bottle landed on Missy. Missy looked to Andrew for permission and he nodded his head, I mean she had to with or without his consent because those were the rules. Jay took a different approach. He crawled over to Missy, grabbed her face and kissed her deeply. When they both pulled away Missy sat back and looked as if someone just told her aliens were real. As Jay made his way to sit make down he smirked at me. This was obviously his revenge for me asking that question. "Damn I really want to know what that questions was" Nick let out to break the awkward silence. "How about we make it more interesting. No more smooch option, when we are asked a question we have to answer it but we then flip a coin. If it's heads everyone knows the question and if it's tails no one gets to know" Jessie said. Everyone was starting to feel more intense. I hated this because I knew Jay or Jessie or someone would ask me a question that would end up embarrassing me. Nick turned to Jessie and whispered a question. She sat there stunned for a moment or two before saying "yes." She flipped a coin and breathed a sigh of relief when it landed on tails. Nick laughed at the risk he just took. After a few people it was my turn. Jessie turned to me. "Out of everyone in this room who would you rather make out with" Jessie said as she innocently batted her eyes. I glared at her because she already knew the answer. "Jay" I muttered rolling my eyes and flipping the coin. Jay had sat up at the sound of his name. He was probably scared about what Jessie had asked. It has become more apparent that she knew about what happened with me and Jay. I'm not sure how she just knew. I looked down at the coin. "For fuck sake" I mumbled. Everyone turned to me as I revealed the coin landed on heads. Jessie looked at me apologising with her eyes. She must of thought it would of landed on tails but still she took the risk and now I had to be embarrassed. At least it didn't out Jay at all, just me" I sighed. "I said, out of everyone in this room who would you rather make out with" Jessie stated whilst playing with her hair. "Matthew do you like Jay?" Andre awkwardly asked. "What no! It's only because we have kissed in smooch or share before so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal" I said trying to cover myself. Jay was just staring at me with no emotions. Just like he did when we went out every night. After a few more rounds we were all bored so we decided to put on a movie. Jessie and Nick were perched on the floor at the front, Andrew and Missy were sat in an arm chair and me and Matthew were in the back on a sofa. I grabbed his hand a little bit into the movie. He smacked me away. "What are you doing? Are you crazy?" He whispered whilst looking to see if anyone had noticed. No one did because they were too interested in their own lives. I was always hurt but these gestures. Jay would never speak about us ever, not when we were alone or when we were in public. He avoided the questions that he thought would make it too complicated. I ended up getting upset and said "how am I supposed to like you. You can't even hold my hand! I'm not dating Aidan by the way. Not that you ever asked. If I was I wouldn't be with you because he would treat me right. He's not afraid to be with me." I whispered angrily. Jay looked hurt but just turned back to watch the movie. With that I went off into my sleeping back and slept. I didn't want Jay to do anything he wasn't ready for but if he's not ready to tell everyone he liked me the he wasn't ready to be with me. We weren't even dating to be honest. He wouldn't dare use the word boyfriend. We just would hang out and kiss and if that wasn't going anywhere I was wasting my time. I woke up in the morning before anyone else and left.