Fluff & Stuff

Unexpected

John turned the key in the lock, unlocking the front door before pushing it open and walking inside, closing it behind himself. He did everything quietly, not wanting to wake his girlfriend in case she was sleeping. He had just finished his work shift at 12:45 AM. He sighed and placed his shoes next to the door, leaving his suitcase by the door as usual. John walked quietly to their room and entered through the open door.

Sherlock sat there with her back towards John. Her head was casted down, her messy curly hair even messier than usual. The blankets were spread around her messily, letting John know she had been moving a lot. John moved closer to the bed, getting a closer look at Sherlock. Then he noticed a strange thing.

Sherlock was crying.

She was crying. But she was crying silently. Which meant she didn't want anyone to know.

John approached Sherlock by sitting down on the bed right next to her. She instantly felt the bed bend down slightly and wiped away her tears.

"I didn't know you would be arriving this early, John. I though you arrived at 3. I apologise you had to find me this way." Sherlock said, her voice trembling. John placed a hand on her thigh and bent down at her lowered gaze.

"Sweetie, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" John asked with the most gentle voice he could muster. New tears ran down Sherlock's face and fell onto her hands.

"What's wrong is that I can't do anything right except for deductions and playing violin. And that's not enough. I'm crying because the fact that I lack the ability to do anything else." Sherlock said in a hoarse tone. She reached with her hand and wiped away her tears again.

"Why would you think that?" John asked worriedly, glancing at her covered wrists.

"Because I almost burned the house down by attempting to clean the kitchen." Sherlock mumbled audibly. "And I tried to cook dinner." She added embarrassingly. John face fell and he opened his arms, Sherlock quickly embracing him tightly and crying on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry you have to see me like this." Sherlock sobbed against John's shoulder. John's own eyes watered at the sound of his girlfriend weeping. When Sherlock's cries died down enough, John pulled back and held both her cheeks, wiping away the tears with his thumbs and looking directly into her eyes. She then realized he also had tears in his eyes.

"You have to stop thinking about yourself this way. Please stop hurting yourself. It pains me to see you this way." John softly said, tears threatening to roll down his cheeks. Sherlock lowered her gaze, now ashamed of her actions. John gently raised her chin with his index finger and his thumb and made her look up. "You can talk to me. I can help you. And if you don't want me to help you, at least look for help."

"No no no, I want your help. Don't think I don't. It's just that...whenever I want to talk to you, I'm always too ashamed to talk about it. It makes me seem....weak and...vulnerable." Sherlock admitted and John instantly felt realization as he remembered all the times Sherlock had tried to talk to him but abruptly changed her mind.

"Don't ever think expressing your feeling makes you seem weak, because you aren't. You're the second strongest person I know." John said, a serious expression in place.

"Who's the first?" She asked curiously.

"Mrs. Hudson." John said and Sherlock let out an unvoluntary snort of laughter. "What? It's true. She has to deal with us every day." John smiled as Sherlock bursted into a fit of giggles.