"Don't look at me like that." I said in a baby voice. Kai was throwing his toys around and acting like he wasn't doing anything. He grinned devilishly and held a toy out to me.
"Thank you." I took the toy.
I brushed my hair to the top of my head and sighed a little. So much of him, I see Luc.
Luc. Nowhere in the US. Nowhere in Europe, or any other continent. Just gone. Eventually I was forced to return home to Kai. He needed me. A boy needs his father. I just wish Luc was here too.
Kai pranced around the room. "Hey! Stop!" He was taking off his diaper. I crawled to the floor and grabbed him. He squealed as I snatched him into my arms and bit his cheeks.
"Rahrahrah!" I growled.
"You need to keep your diaper on." I said as I taped the sides back together. I put him down and he ran around the room waving his toy dragon. I smiled as I watched him play.
Playing involves rolling on the floor, crashing into walls, throwing things, and running around the room. Today is the latter. I sighed again. He's missing all this.
I shook my head. Kai...understands me to some extent. He understands "no," "put that down," "don't do that," etc.
Downstairs, there was a knock on the front door.
"Come on. Let's see who it is." I held out my hand to Kai. He looked over and came to me, taking my hand. We walked out of the room together and went to the stairs.
"You want to try going down the stairs by yourself?" I asked him. Kai seemed to nod and he turned around and got on his hands and knees. He stepped down backwards and began to go down the stairs. I stepped down slowly and followed him. I watched with a smile. My son: so smart.
We reached the bottom floor together and I opened the front door. Jeanette and Brian were standing on the porch, both dressed casually. Again at the usual hour. They come over seemingly everyday to see us.
"Hi." I said. Kai ran out and hugged his grandfather by the legs.
"Kai, let's let them come in first." I reached down for Kai's hand.
"Mm!" He grunted. Stubborn, like his father.
"It's fine Indra." Brian stooped down and picked up Kai.
As doctors, they are baffled by Kai's expedited growth, but they accept him as is.
The three came inside and went into the living room.
Jeanette cries everyday and remains mostly silent. She no longer smiles.
Brian is a rock. He never lets his emotions surface. The others go on with life, but they miss him. We all do.
Months. Eight, exactly. I looked at the floor, then to Kai and my in-laws. I went to the loveseat and sat. Kai bounced on Brian's thighs and grabbed at his hair. Kai screamed. He's developed the habit of screaming when he's happy. Brian chuckled.
"Be careful." He said to Kai.
I soon stood up. "I'll be back."
Upstairs on the bathroom floor I laid in a fetal position.
Tears dropped onto the tile, making a small pool of water. My breath was was ragged and I clenched my chest.
"Luc..." I muttered. His smiling face...gone.
Silently I wept. I wept for Kai. Will he ever know his father? I wept for Luc. Will he ever return?
"Don't take that off. Kai come back here!" Brian called. I pushed myself off the floor and dried my tears.
