Mission: LOVE ⚔️ (mikasa x reader)

A little talk

"Mikasa can we talk?" You asked as the girl seemed shocked, instantly nodding and grabbing onto your wrist to take you outside so no one could hear.

"What is it (y/n)?" She asked as you smiled.

"I've been having bad dreams. And I think there's something in my mind that's telling me to do something I don't want to." You told her as you sat on a rock nearby, her sitting on the one next to you.

"Do you want to tell me about the dreams or the voice in your mind?"  She asked as you put your head down.

"Both."

"Okay, I'm all ears." Mikasa said as you couldn't help but frown.

'She doesn't want to listen to your stupid story'
'She doesn't care about you'

"It's happening right now." You said silently as Mikasa looked at you in confusion.

"Someone is telling me that you don't care about me. That no one cares about me. That I'd be better off dead." You said as Mikasa put her hand on your shoulder.

"What else does it say?" Mikasa asked as your face saddened.

"That everything was my fault. My moms death, my dad leaving me, my girlfriend leaving me. Everything that lead me here was all because of my stupid mistakes." You said, holding yourself together as Mikasa held onto your shoulder, rubbing it gently.

"Do you really believe those lies?" Mikasa asked as you shrugged.

"My head said the exact same thing about believing you guys." You told her as she giggled.

"(Y/n), I'm a real person. We're real people. Whatever is going on in there," She tapped your forehead, "isn't real. Your mind is playing tricks on you. Don't let it do that." She told you as you nodded.

"You want me to be honest?" You asked as Mikasa looked once again confused.

"My mind told me to stay away from you. I had a dream you were my ex girlfriend. Then Eren got messed up in the mix- Then it just got weirder- and.. there's so much I don't even remember." You looked at her as she shook her head.

"There's nothing wrong with caring for others. And if you're interested in Eren and I, I'd love to tell you stories, but you haven't asked." She said before putting her finger on her chin. "And, I'm not your ex girlfriend. She seems like an asshole anyways." She added before putting her hands back on her lap.

"That's why I tried to stay away from you and the others. But that made me feel even worse. I felt like I had to be alone because if I were to be with people, id just hate them and they'd just hate me. But I don't hate you." You said as she nodded.

"I don't hate you either. So there's no reason to think you have to be alone." She said as you nodded.

"Now that I've got the chance, can you tell me what it is you and Eren have going on?" You asked as she tapped onto her leg, clearly getting nervous.

"Well, he's like my brother but he's not because I don't see him like a brother. But I also don't love him but I just have this deep bond with him. I don't know. But he's stubborn so there's no reason to change anything." She said which just made you more confused. Did she like him?

"I hope the best for you." You smiled at the girl

'No you dont'
'You're jealous'
'You're jealous it's not you'

You felt your heart throb at the awful things your mind was thinking about.

"Thank you," Mikasa nodded.

"Do you mind telling me about the other dreams you had?" Mikasa continued, wanting to let this precious time last.

"My ex girlfriend was with me, and I got mad. So I yelled at her. And she didn't say or explain much, but I know she's hiding something." You said as Sasha giggled.

"(Y/n), your ex won't do anything to you. You're here with us. So stop worrying about the past!" She said as you nodded.

"Mikasa?" You asked as she turned to face you again.

"Hm?"

"I heard you guys talking in the boys cabin a couple days ago. I heard the conversation all of you had about me." You said as a wave of embarrassment washed over Mikasa's cheeks.

"I'm sorry." She said awkwardly as you shook your head.

"No, I'm happy you guys actually care." You smiled before continuing.

"But you were talking about bipolar disorder and anxiety and depression?" You asked. "What does that mean?"

"(Y/n), how much of school did you attend?" She asked as you wondered why such an irrelevant question would be asked.

"Dropped out in my first year of highschool, why?" You asked as she looked at you in sadness.

"No shocker you never learned those words. Well, let me tell you." She smiled.

"Bipolar disorder basically means your emotions range fairly quickly. You being happy one second to sad and empty the next." She explained.

"Well that would explain my constant mood swings and shitty days." You tried to make light of the situation.

"Anxiety is a feeling of being scared of the unknown or future. Over thinking about the possibilities that seem almost impossible." She said as you listened.

"I think you have this one the most. You're always listening to the little voice, listening to its toxicity and following what it says. Sometimes you should listen to your heart." She said as she placed her index finger on your chest, to make sure you knew what she meant.

"And the last one is depression. It means you're sad, constantly thinking about the negative things that've happened in the past and letting it stop you from moving forward. You feel like you're stuck in a pit and can't get out. It sucks." She said, seemingly to understand the feeling well.

"You sound like you're familiar with this one." You said as she nodded.

"Once Erens mom died, I fell into depression. It sucks and I know how you feel. If you need to talk or get advice, I'm you're girl." She said to cheer you up.

"Thanks Mikasa." You said as you turned to the girl, giving her a hug.

"This is the first time we've hugged, just the two of us." She smiled as she hugged back, your heart pounding in the warm embrace the two of you shared.