Mission: LOVE ⚔️ (mikasa x reader)

The downfall

And just like that, your life went to shit. You stayed locked up in fear of the woman you loved ever returning. You were scared of the police thinking you were her accomplice, you were scared of going outside.

You weren't making money, and without Sammy and her pay check as well, it was going downhill so quickly.

You didn't know what to do, really. All you knew was that you had to keep your house safe, keep your garden clean and keep yourself in order.

~

"(Y/n) wake your ass up!" The loud bangs on the door woke you up as you rubbed your eyes in tiredness.

You had fallen asleep on the couch last night, not even having realized it.

You unlocked the door before opening it slightly to see who it was. It was your dad.

"(Y/n), you don't look too good." He looked at your messy hair and lumps under your eyes.

"No kidding." You look back at the man before swinging the door open, allowing him in.

"You're in debt." He said sternly as he handed you a letter.

You already knew that, but having someone tell you first hand was not very pleasant. How were you supposed to pay off debt when you're too scared to leave your home?

"Dad I don't know what to do anymore." You put your hands over your face as you sat down on the chair in the kitchen, your dad following after you.

The chair was full of dust and the house needed a real cleaning. You tried, but you eventually gave up. There's no point in keeping things alive.

"You dated a murderer, and became a bum once she fled." He reminded you as you smashed your fist on your table, keeping the other hand on your head not wanting to look your father in the eyes.

"Do you know how fucking hard it is?" You said rather loudly, your dad shifting in his chair before throwing another letter on the table.

"Job applications, military applications, scout applications. You need a damn job if you want to keep living here." He said as you took one of the letters, opening it up to see a bunch of flyers about office jobs and nursing jobs.

But you didn't want to do any of this.

You knew the military was out of the question, so you looked at the scout application.

You've never heard of a "scout" and it made you slightly interested.

"She took the car, dad." You reminded your father. You didn't have enough money to buy a new one, and you didn't have insurance on the car she took, so basically it's done for.

Could she have no remorse? Her girlfriends dead mother owned that car. It had meaning to you. How could she just take it like it's nothing?

"I know." He said with a sign before pushing the scout application towards you.

"The scouts work to protect the walls. That's all they do. You don't get paid but you do get free food, shelter and every basic essential." He tried his best to smile, to encourage you even in the slightest.

"The walls? Why do we need to protect them? Aren't they protecting us?" You asked. The walls were confusing to be honest. You knew they were there, you knew you were in the middle one, and you knew they were to protect your home.

Your mother always told you scary stories about what was beyond the walls to scare you. Your mom always loved to scare you to the point where you were too afraid to sleep in your bed by yourself, so she could get away from dad and sleep with you.

She told you about these tall big monsters that love to eat human brains, like zombies.

"Listen honey. They'll give you a good place to live. And you'll make a living. It's better than rotting in debt here." He said as he put his hand on yours to comfort you.

You pulled away out of instinct, trying not to scream at the man, "Don't touch me," you said quietly as you turned around to face the backyard.

"Whose going to take care of the house? The garden?" You ask as you knew these things were precious. They're what you had left of your mom.

"I have weekends off. I'll come every weekend and make sure everything's in order. I'll take care of the garden." He reassured you to which you held back the need to roll your eyes.

Your dad didn't give a flying fuck about this home, nor did he understand what the garden meant to you. He would send you off, check in the first few weeks, then give up and not come back. You knew this.

This home, and everything in it, you wanted to keep it safe. You wanted to watch over it forever. You wanted to make sure no one like Sammy ever walked through the door to such an amazing place ever again.

"I don't know." You groaned before putting the scout application down on the table.

"Either you find a job that'll pay well, or do this. I'm not giving you any more loans. It's time for you to make good decisions." He told you before standing up.

"I'm 16... I'm not even an adult. What are you even saying? I messed up with Sam, I know. But why am I the one that's stuck in a pit? Not that stupid bitch that pretended to love me, live with me and then leave without telling me anything?" Your eyes began to water as your voice began to stutter. You didn't want to cry.

"(Y/n). It sucks. We don't have much money, that's reality. I'm a single father who barely has enough to pay for himself. I just can't, I'm sorry." His voice seemed softer, as a way to calm you. But it didn't work.

No father would leave his daughter like this.

"Maybe if you didn't date that murderer this wouldn't be an issue to stress about." He muttered under his breath as you crooked your eyes up.

"Do you think I knew she was a murderer? You grit your teeth in anger. Sammy fucked up your life and now it's your fault?

"You should've realized the love wasn't real." He shrugged before tucking in the chair to the dining table you were sitting down.

"It was real!" You yell as the man begins to walk towards the door to leave.

"Keep thinking that." The man waves his left hand in his air before opening the door, not looking back.

with a click to the door and a roar of an engine you could finally let out your anger.

"I fucking hate you. All of you! Sammy, dad, world, random scout group. Fuck all of you! Why the fuck can't I be a normal teenager? Why did I have to fall in love with a murderer? Why did I have to grow up without a mother? Why doesn't my dad care about me? FUCK!" You punch the door with your fist before pulling your fist away.

What were you doing....

You felt weak. Immature. You didn't know how to handle these feelings, why was the world crashing down on you this early in life?

You decided to stop screaming at nothing and punching furniture, and sit down in the living room.

The dust of the couch pounced up as you sat down on the couch. You should really clean, but what's the point? It's not long before you couldn't afford your electricity bills anyways.

Sammy had left with everything. She'd taken her own essential things before taking your watch, bracelet and necklace. You were just happy she didn't take the necklace that belonged to your mother.

But that bitch took everything you could've sold for a lot of money. You have a shitty bank account filled with a few thousand dollars, but who knows how long it'll take for that to blow away.

Sammy had money. She was the one that bought groceries, got you presents and brought things for the garden.

'What would mom think? Would she laugh at me... for dating a murderer and allowing her to stay here with me? Would she comfort me and know it wasn't my fault? ...... What am I even saying' you cover your head in tiredness as the thoughts in your head always got the best of you.

You laid your head on the dirty pillow before quickly falling asleep. The lack of sleep was getting to you and nothing felt better than being able to lie down and just stop.