Mission: LOVE ⚔️ (mikasa x reader)

A great loss

"Is your hand all right?" Mikasa questioned, sitting back on your bed with you.

It's been about four hours since the whole titan mission, and you were incredibly tired.

You didn't manage to catch that man, and you were still in a gloomy state.

"I cut it on my blade. It's fine." You answered with irritation in your voice as you lied onto your pillow.

Mikasa was lying next to you on your bed as you wanted to be as close to her as possible.

"You should disinfect it." She said as she helped you unravel your clothing's fabric you had covered the cut with.

"Ouch." She said as she held your hand out, looking at the cut on your palm.

"It's not that bad." You replied simply as Mikasa left the room before coming back with first aid.

You held out your hand as she gently applied a liquid that made the cut burn, before wrapping it with gauze and taping it.

"Thanks." You said quietly, trying to push aside the anger you actually felt as Mikasa left with the first aid kit before coming back to your room empty handed.

"Mikasa, how many people died because of me?" You asked as the girl lied down next to you on the bed.

"Sleep." She said as she looked at you in the eyes. She knew you were tired.

"I got people fucking murdered." You said silently as the girls eye began to water.

"I said sleep." She stayed strong as you hugged her, falling asleep in her arms after having such a terrible day.

You knew there would be other soldiers staying on lookout all day. They would come back to base with no energy and possible injuries just because of you.

If only the mission was planned out better, maybe people wouldn't have died. Maybe Erwin would still be alive. He always knows what to do. Maybe Armin wouldn't have been burnt. Maybe if you never said anything at all, Reiner and Bertholdt wouldn't have done anything at all.

You didn't know their intentions. And you couldn't ask them anymore, either.

"You alright?" Mikasa questioned as she wiped a tear off of your face while also waking you up.

You wiped your eyes yourself before adjusting to the light and see the girl with a neutral but slightly happy face. You could be wrong, but she definitely didn't look to be remorseful.

"What." You said as Mikasa turned behind her. She moved out of the way as Armin stood there looking at you awkwardly.

"Levi chose you?" You questioned as the boy rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah- well! I mean... I know what you're thinking. I'm not the one that should've been chosen." He said as you shook your head.

"There would be no good outcome either way. It doesn't matter now." You said, not wanting to tell him that Erwin was the better choice either. Mikasa gave a small smile, not being able to tell how you truly felt about the situation.

"And thank you.... For holding Mikasa back and comforting her in that situation." He said as you nodded.

"Of course." You responded with a fake small smile as the boy turned to leave, Mikasa staying with you.

"I know what happened yesterday won't change how you feel. I know this sucks. But I want you to stay happy." Mikasa said as she handed you a fresh uniform.

"I should be saying the same to you." You said as you took the uniform from her hand, taking off the previous dirty uniform you just realized you slept in, and slipped it over your body.

"By the way, can we talk about how you helped us fight yesterday? With your missing leg?" Jean stood at your door peeking into your room as both you and Mikasa looked at him.

"Well, that man riding on the titan broke through the wall and there weren't any soldiers around me to stop a group of titans." You said as Jean put his hand out.

"You had your flares did you not? Just like when you shot the purple and black flare, we would come help." He said as you got up from your bed before lightly putting your fist on his chest.

"I handled it on my own." You replied, knowing his pestering wouldn't change the past.

"Yeah, and look at what happened." He said as he grabbed onto your arm making sure not to hurt your cut hand.

"I'm fine." You said sternly as Jean let go of your arm before sighing.

"I just don't understand why you went out of the way to put yourself in danger." He continued as you looked at Mikasa who shrugged.

"If no one stopped those titans, they would've killed more people. ." You replied honestly as the boy looked towards the floor as Mikasa put her hand on Jeans shoulder.

"If anyone should be worried about her, it's me." She said as she moved towards you.

"Thanks." You responded as Jean accepted that just reminiscing about the past won't change the future.

"So what now?" You questioned Mikasa as Jean had already left the room.

"You never told me. Where did that man riding the titan come from?" She questioned as you remembered seeing the man from the distance while you were on top of the wall.

"North east." You replied as the girl nodded.

"You were right. With the theory that somehow the titans come from the north. That's where that man came from as well." She said as you grabbed your crutch next to your bed, standing up.

"Yes, but what good will that information do?" You questioned with regret in your voice, as you walked out of your room with your crutch, going to the kitchen to grab a cup of water. No matter how much information you got from this mission, you nor did anyone else actually know how to stop any of this from happening.

"Now that Armin has the colossal titan, we can get over that barrier between the outer walls and Marley territories." Mikasa said as she followed you towards the kitchen.

"We have to talk this over with Levi. We can't create missions, and without Erwin, we have to be especially careful about our mission plans too." You said as Mikasa clicked her tongue.

"Then again, that's not your job, so why would you care?" You said kind of annoyed that now that Erwin was dead, more weight would be put on your shoulders.

"We're in this together. Don't say bullshit like that." She said sternly as you shut up while drinking a cup of water.

"I'll talk to Levi and Hanji tomorrow morning." You said as you knew the meeting would be canceled the morning right after the mission because of how tired everyone was, and the great loss you've had to come to terms with.

"Ok." Mikasa said as you tried to change the subject so you'd feel as if everything went back to normal.