Be with You

Chapter twenty six

I was at a total loss for words right now. I don't know what to say and what to respond when he started telling me everything... and all the reasons I wanted to hear from him.

May ibang paraan naman 'di ba? Bakit sa ganoon paraan pa? Pero hindi ko siya masisi dahil pareha kaming nahihirapan na. Pero bakit kinailangan pa niya akong gagohin? 

"If you want to get off me... why her?" I finally have the strength to ask after a long silence. He closed his eyes.

"I don't want to get rid of you... I do. But I can't fix us anymore because I'm tired... I'm sorry if I didn't fight for us." he bit his lips. 

"Kung tinuloy ba natin ang relasyon natin noon..." tumigil ako. "Will your mother will ruin me?" I asked without leaving his eyes. 

"No... my Mom is a good person. She was just hurt, Plavin. You can't blame her if she was hurting because of your mother." he replied. He's right. I can't blame her mother if she's going to ruin me after all my mother was the one ruining their family.

"I know... you have the right to blame me and throw all your hatred. After all, I deserve it." I clenched my fists. I want to hurt him... badly but, I can't because I love him so much. I don't want to hurt him instead I want to hug him and comfort him because all of these years he's been battling with his own. He has no one when his suffering also. He need me so much but I wasn't there. 

There's a part of me that hates my mother because why is so easy for her to leave me? Without saying a proper goodbye to me? Was I not enough to continue her life? Did she think of me before she closed her eyes? But then, I can never hate her because I know she's in pain at hindi na niya kaya lahat. I know my mother loved my father until she didn't feel loved the way it used to be.

"I need to go." tumayo na ako at iniwan siya. Pero sa pagkakataon na 'to hindi siya sumunod o pinigilan ako. Noong una ayaw kong marinig ang mga dahilan pero nang makita ko sa mga mata niya ang na gusto niya talaga sabihin sa akin ang rason kung bakit kinailangan niyang makipaghiwalay sa akin. 

Pero hindi ko na siguro kakayanin ang susunod niyang sabihin kaya minabuti ko na umalis na. Pagdating ko sa bahay nakita ko si Stacey nakatulala at may boteng Tequila sa lamesa. Tinaggal ko heels na suot at umupo sa tabi niya. Napahawak siya sa dibdib niya sa labis na gulat.

"Ano ba! Hindi ka man lang nag salita na nandito ka na!" tumawa ako at sinalinan ang baso.

"May problema ba sa lakad niyo ng kaibigan mo?" tumaas ang kilay ko. Hindi ako naniniwala na kaibigan nga ang kinita niya kanina.

"Alam ko kung sino ang naisip mo." mahina siyang tumawa at biglang natahimik. "Pero hindi siya." 

"Sino? Sila Ash?" sumipsip ako sa tequila. Tumango siya. 

"Kung mag-uusap man kami siguro iinsultohin niya lang ako." natawa siya. 

Hindi ako sumagot. Wala akong alam kung anong nangyari sa kanila. Hindi niya sinabi basta ang sinabi lang siya ay naghiwalay na sila.