Lost in You

Chapter 11

The Sunday before my exams I'm curled up on our sofa, a thick blanket over my legs and a warm cup of tea cradled in my hands while the world outside gets dark. It started to snow again, but instead of a white sugar layer, we get grey sludge on the streets here. I turn away from the window and turn on the TV. I don't have to switch channels for it to show me the white ski jumping hill. Which means Maja didn't use the TV since I turned it off yesterday. Now she sneaks in from the kitchen and scrambles over the back of the sofa. "What are we watching? Please tell me it has nothing to do with Uni." She cuddles in under the other side of the blanket. "I thought you came to tell me that we need to study," I say and take a sip of my tea while we both watch the competition start. "Not anymore. If you didn't get it until now, these few hours won't save you either. So stop talking about it and tell the news from them." She nods to the TV, knowing that Marius still sends me updates. "I've already told you everything. Now we'll have to wait until the end of this before I get any new updates," I say and turn the volume up a little more, now that I don't have to worry about distracting Maja. She picks up her phone and scrolls through something, only occasionally glancing over to the TV when it gets louder. Or when I start to fidget and she knows who's about to start. With a grin, she puts her phone to the side and watches his jump with me. "That was good," she comments when he goes to the first place and turns back to her phone. I do the same, if only to hide my wide smile a little. Congratulations. I text him. To my surprise I get an answer right away. I thought you weren't watching. Right now I'd do anything to not think about my exams. Don't do it then. Think about how you're going to be back in the mountains next weekend. I bite my lip to not smile and look up to the TV. Where they actually show clips of the behind-the-scenes. I can see you on TV. It takes only a few seconds after sending the message when I see him looking up in the background of a shot and grin at the camera. I know this picture is on thousands of TVs right now and still it feels private. Like he's actually looking right at me. Then the picture changes and my phone vibrates again. It's not really fair that you can see me, but I can't see you. I turn on the camera of my phone and take a selfie, smiling with the cup of tea in my hand and the blanket pulled up. Now we're even. I write under the pictureNow I'm jealous of the warm blanket. I'm jealous that I'll never know what flying feels like. I text back because I've spent some time thinking about what it must feel like to fly through the air with no safety net or being attached to anything else. Technically, you could. There's options if you wanted to try it out. I think I'll pass. I'm actually a little bit afraid of heights, so I'll be fine watching from the ground. But the next time we see each other, you can tell me all about it. I will. I smile and look up. Maja is watching me with raised eyebrows. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asks. "Look the second round starts," I say instead of an answer and point to TV where the second round has already started. Which would explain the short answer I got. Maja grins but keeps watching with me without another word. "Did you get a prediction about who will win?" Maja asks when we come to the top ten. "No. Only the information that he's jealous of our blanket." Maja pulls the blanket a little more towards her. "He should be. It's great." When it's his turn to jump, I wonder if I should have texted him something like 'Good luck' or any other form of encouragement. Then I tell myself that he doesn't need that. Still, my heart starts beating faster, like I'm the one sitting up there, about to jump. At this point all I can wish for him is to not be as nervous as I am. The light turns green. I bite my lip when he lets go. And watch him fly over the green line. Maja cheers, but I only let out a relieved breath. I barely pay attention to the last jumper or that he doesn't reach the green line. Congratulations on winning! This time I don't get an answer directly, but when I look to the TV, he's smiling and waving at the camera. I smile back, even if he can't see it. "This is so much more exciting once you feel like you're personally involved, isn't it?" Maja says without looking away from the TV screen. "It's much more nerve-wracking when you think about all the things that could happen as well," I mumble and get a soft kick from Maja under the blanket. "Were you worried for him?" I shrug and look at my phone again. Of course he wouldn't have looked at it yet, with the celebrating and the getting ready for the victory ceremony. We stay on the sofa during German interviews, a commercial and finally the ceremony where I think my heart skipped a beat just at the look of pure joy on his face when he's called to the podium and the camera zooms in. Neither Maja nor I mention that we should turn off the TV and study a little more. Only a few weeks ago, we wouldn't have even considered spending our Sunday afternoon like that, let alone having fun while watching sports together. How fast such things can change. "Admit it, you're excited about going back when they're in the hotel again as well," I say because at least during the second round Maja was as invested in the competition as I was. "Hmm. I haven't fallen in love with someone, but the overall excitement was fun. And I'll take the breakfast voluntarily this time. Their faces when you want to convince them to the most sugary food are too great." I laugh. "That's why you did so badly." "I did get one who shrugged his shoulder and ate whatever I recommended. I was more surprised than he was about my recommendations." I raised an eyebrow. "Maybe he was doing it for you," I teased. Maja laughed again. "First of all, I think he's got a girlfriend and second, I wasn't interested either. But it was too much fun. Maybe I'll try it again next time and see if he remembers me." "He's sure to remember the crazy lady at the breakfast buffet." Maja threw a pillow at me in response. I threw it back and could hear my phone vibrate behind me. On the TV, they changed to the recap of the rest of the sports events that happened that day. Thanks. I guess you won't need an update of the events today then. I'd still like one from your perspective. I text back, because him not sending them anymore was exactly why I never told him I was watching before. You'll get one as soon as I'm back in the hotel. I smile at my phone until I hear Maja shifting forward. "I should really get something done now. I don't want to have to write in my exam tomorrow that I can't remember the life curve of a product, but that I could list the ski jumpers that were on the podium during the last weekends." "Though that would be a change. Maybe he'd let you pass if you add the sponsors that do marketing on their jackets?" Maja laughs. "Feel free to try, but I really need a good grade in that course." I sighed and put my phone back on the table. "Me too. Should we quiz each other?" "Only if you promise to keep your phone off." I take it and push it under the pillow behind me. Very reluctantly, but Maja is right. We need a last revision before tomorrow.