Lost in You

Chapter 19

"See this is so much more fun without hills." I turn around on my ice skates. Marius stopped next to the entrance and watches me with raised eyebrows. "You do realize that I need hills for my job, right?" I roll my eyes and skate back to him to take his hand. He looks shocked only for a second before he intertwines our fingers. It's difficult to skate together at first, we need to find our rhythm. To my surprise, that means that I need to slow down a little. "Please tell me that you know how to stop here," he says after a few rounds when we've gotten used to skating together and I started going faster again. I check that no one is behind us and stop, letting go of his hand to not make him lose his balance. Thankfully we came early in the morning on a weekday, so the ice rink is rather empty, as I planned it to be. "Good, then there is nothing I can teach you here," he says with a smile. I hold out my hands again. "Take my hands. I'd like to go backwards," I say. It takes a second for him to understand before he takes my hands and spins me around so that he's facing forward again and I can start to go backwards in slow movements while he makes sure that I don't bump into someone. After a round, I make him switch. He keeps holding my hands even if I'm sure he doesn't them to keep his balance. "Are you happy with the season so far?" I ask when we stop at the border of the ice rink to take a break while watching the other skaters drive past. So far, no one has paid attention to us. Either they don't watch ski jumping or they leave us alone on purpose. "Sure. You saw the results. It couldn't have gone much better." "And not much of it is left," I add. He nods. "I'm looking forward to that as well. At least a little. No more travelling each weekend and being able to enjoy the time at home for a little while longer." I kick my shoe softly against the wall to get rid of the ice stuck to the blade. "You'll be back in Norway then," I say. It's not a question. It's a statement and I'm not sure how he feels about it. "I could go wherever I want to go. At least for a few weeks before we have a training schedule again. I could visit you if you wanted that." I take his hand again, turn it around and run my fingers over his forearm. "I'd like that very much," I say and watch his eyelids flutter. Then he swallows. "Good. Then I'll book a flight once we're back home," he says while watching my fingers still caressing his forearm. He'll have to make me stop if that's what he wants. "Do you want to go for another round?" He asks after a moment of clearly enjoying what I'm doing. I smile and go back to holding his hand. "Sure, that's what we came for." He nods, it looks distracted, so I push away from the wall and tug on his hand to make him follow. Again, it takes a moment for us to find our rhythm again, but I feel better about this time. Afterwards, we take the long way back to the hotel, leading us through white fields, the snow looking like untouched sugar covering the whole world. Or what seems to be my whole world for the next month. "I wish you never had to leave. That we could just stay here," I mumble, breaking the silence of only our steps crunching in the frozen snow."Wouldn't you miss your home after a while?" he asks and I can hear the longing in his voice to go home himself. It gives me a short, but sharp pain. The reminder that he will return home soon and leave me behind. "I guess I would. And Maja would leave sooner or later as well," I admit. He shakes his head. "Hiding here isn't an option." I sigh and lean my head against his arm. "I know. It was just a silly daydream because today seemed perfect," I say. He runs a finger along my cheek. "I thought so as well. No matter how angry I've been in the beginning about being sick, it might have not all been bad. I would never have met you  had I left after the competition." I bite my lip and look down, glad that my cheeks are already flushed from the cold and the ice skating. "I feel the same way, but I'd never say it because it feels wrong to be happy that you've gotten sick." He laughs. "We should never tell anyone else about it then." I smile against the sleeve of his jacket. A shared secret, no matter how small has never tasted this sweet.