Lost in You

Chapter 22

I do my best to sneak into our room when I come back, my lips still tingling with the last kiss we shared before he had to go the other direction to his room while I could hear people coming up the stairs, too drunk to care about waking someone up. Despite my best efforts, the light turns on as soon as I shut the door and Maja glances around the corner. "At least you're alone," she says. I take off my coat, trying and failing to hide my wide smile from her, because her voice is already disapproving. "Of course I'm alone, I wouldn't bring him here," I say. "Actually, I expected you to not come back here tonight at all," Maja says and goes back to her bed when I come as well to pick up my pajama from where I left it when Marius knocked on the door. "It's better like this. We've kissed for the first time tonight, I wouldn't want to go too fast," I say and go to the bathroom, but leave the door open to keep talking with Maja, glad to have that protection from her scrutinizing look. "I thought so by the way you looked," I hear her say now while she shifts in her bed. "It was really nice. There are shooting stars tonight, did you know?" I say, wanting to share what just happened with someone before it feels like I dreamed it all. "No, I didn't know that. I might have been on the rooftop myself if I'd known," she says, still not the happy, supporting friend I know. I start to change. "What is it?" I ask because I want whatever she holds back out of the way. Even in the bathroom, I hear her sigh. "I am happy for you. Really happy. But I'm also worried. Are you aware that he's going to leave in two days and you won't see each other again after that because you have to work and he'll eventually go back to Norway?" I lean against the sink, glad that Maja can't see me right now. "I know that. Admittedly, I try to not think about it all that often, but I do know." "And I know how rare it is that you find someone you like like that. So are you sure it's worth the pain later?" I trace my reflection in the mirror, still tasting his lips on mine, feeling his warmth against me. "Tonight says yes. I do want to keep going and I want to know where this could take us," I say, my voice stronger now and I emerge from the bathroom to go to my own bed. Maja watches me from her side of the room. "Then tell me about tonight," she says with a smile. I turn around to her, grinning back and then I start to tell her. How we arrived on the rooftop, describe to her how clear the sky was and then how he said he made his wish and kissed me. And everything that happened after that while we hear late guests stumbling through the corridor outside. A car drives by, music turned all the way up. After some time, Maja turns off the light and we keep talking in the darkness. Only when I've told her everything I've held back before does she turn back to me, head propped up. I can tell her eyes are serious even in the dim room that is only illuminated by the street lantern outside now. "That sounds wonderful. Like a fairytale. I never meant to make you feel any less about him, but I needed to warn you. Because I still am worried. Not that he's not good for you, but that other factors are simply too strong to make this happen." I sigh and fall back into my thick pillow. "I know. I mean I know what is coming for us and I know that meant well. But I can't stop this now. I couldn't tell him to leave me alone now, because I'd spend the rest of my life wondering what could have happened if I'd tried right now. Maybe we'll stop texting once he's left this time. Maybe we'll see each other again in summer and that will be the end of it. But maybe, maybe something big is happening right now. And I have to find out what maybe it is. Even if it's going to hurt a lot in the future." I feel the pillow hitting my face before I even realize that Maja has thrown it. "You're a hopeless romantic. I'll write this down and remind you of it when you complain to me that you're sad and that nothing worked out the way you wanted it to. Or I'll read it out at your wedding in front of everyone, including Marius." I throw the pillow back, laughing. "You'll do no such thing. These words stay in this room." Maja giggles and picks up the pillow behind her bed because I completely missed in the darkness. "Then I at least expect that you'll include this hotel in your honeymoon." "I'll consider it. But he'll have to like it as well," I say back while a warm, fuzzy feeling threatens to take control of my body. I should really not think about things like a wedding when we've just kissed. And Maja just warned me to be careful with my heart in this. Because she's right. After we've kissed and shared our secrets under the stars, we need to talk about what will happen next.