Lost in You

Chapter 44

We don't stop texting after he's gone, but we never mention seeing each other again. After he's left, I must have looked pitiful enough that Maja didn't protest when I told her I couldn't keep the promise we made. I also don't stop watching the competitions whenever we can fit it in between our work like today. Maja stretches out in the bed next to me. "I missed this," she admits. "I'm sorry. But I just couldn't see him," I say and reach for my phone. Maja smiles. "It really is like last year again." Then she furrows her brows. "Only you don't look so happy." It's going well so far, but I'll have to wait for the second round to tell you more. The weather is unpredictable today. I smile at the text I've just gotten. "There's more uncertainty this time. As you said we already know what could happen and neither of us wants to happen again. And still we couldn't ignore each other when he was here," I try to explain. Maja nods, grumbles something and turns her attention back to the TV. I let her, knowing that she disapproves of me not keeping my promise, but doesn't want to make me feel even worse right now.I know. I'm watching right now. I'm glad to hear that again. Did my explanations help at all? I immediately think back to our night at the hill. By now it seems more like a dream than reality. I was too far gone into already missing him and at the same time being overwhelmed by him being there as that I could remember much of what he said. Yes, they did. I can impress Maja with what I've learned now. I text back, because at least that already worked. Not that Maja didn't already know about the little things I notice now, but she's impressed I know about them now as well. Then it sounds like it was a night well spent. That was already true before you started explaining the hill to me. I bite my lip to not grin like an idiot and cause Maja to ask questions while I wait for him to answer. I think these texts might start to distract me from the competition. I wish I could see you right now.  I look to the TV screen, remembering how it felt like he smiled directly at me the last time we had an afternoon like this. I'm glad for the few moments that there is no camera around. Especially right now. You never know what they ask questions about later. True. I feel the same about Maja. I think you shouldn't tell her that. Can I call you later?Sure. And jokes aside, she's a great friend, I'm glad she's here or I'd feel too lonely watching you on TV. Then I'm glad you have her around as well. I put my phone to the side and grin at Maja who has given up casting me secret side-glances. "Do I want to know what you've been texting about or is it too dirty?" I laugh and throw a pillow at her. "We only talked about how great you are." "Yeah I'm sure you have nothing better to talk about," she says, between fits of laughter. The pillow she tries throwing back completely misses my bed. "But it's true," I protest while I get up to get it back, which makes Maja laugh even more. "Stop talking and get back to your bed, the break is over I think." "I could show you the texts if you don't believe me," I tease and pick up my phone. Maja squeaks. "I told you I don't want to see what you've been grinning at like that." I roll my eyes, still grinning and put the phone away again. It really is good to have her around, to keep me from cuddling in on a blanket and eat ice cream while I watch Marius on TV, wishing I could be with him.