Lost in You

Chapter 17

When my skis start sliding forward on their own accord, I start to regret having agreed to this meeting. "Wait for me," Marius calls from behind me and I do my best to stop. It's not very graceful, but effective. When I agreed to this, I hadn't calculated that all Maja and I had done the last time we were here was follow the beginner's tracks and sometimes undo our skis to go down a steeper hill. Neither of us had much training skiing. Marius certainly did. This would be a disaster, for me at least. But somehow I forgot about it until now, when it was too late. And all Maja had done was to promise that she'd do the rest of my rooms and refused to come with us so that I could start earlier. I'm still not sure if I should be relieved or not that she isn't here. At least we're both equally bad at this, compared to someone who had plenty of experience standing on skis. "Sorry, I told you I'm not very good at this." He tilts his head. "I thought this is what you've been doing with Maja all the time." "Well, we've only been here for a week and then we took the beginners tours. Plus we might have avoided going downhill too much because I can't really stop." He looks like he's trying not to laugh and I'm grateful for it. "No problem, we'll just do the same thing now. At least it's not that cold." I'm wrapped up in my thickest scarf and my fingers already start to feel cold despite my gloves, but I nod in agreement. If he wants to think that, I won't change his mind. "Sure, I'll show you the way," I say with more confidence than I feel, one because I suddenly feel a lot more unstable on my skis than I did when it was just Maja and me, and two because she was usually the one to lead the way and I can only hope that I'll find the right one again and don't lead us to some dangerously steep descent. "I shouldn't be doing too much endurance training anyway," he adds when I start moving. "Good to know, because you won't be getting any today," I say without turning around because I'd definitely lose balance if I did that. I still try to keep talking, explaining to him the things about our environment that Maja and I already found out, show him the views that I like and ask him questions about the competitions until I think both of us relax a little. "And this is the last view- ah!" I'm about to show Marius the last and in my opinion best viewpoint of our tour, when my skis decide to do their own thing once again and slip away. Before I can even think about the right moves to do now, he's got his arms around me and stops me from sliding away. I can feel his warm breath on my cheek and don't dare to move for a moment. Until he lets me go again and I have to turn around. "Thanks." Maybe it's just the cold, but his cheeks are flushed as well. "No problem. What were you trying to say?" he asks and picks up his ski poles again that he must have dropped to catch me. "This is the last viewpoint of our tour. It's my favourite." He lets his gaze wander over the forest and the mountains surrounding us. Usually, I'd do the same, but today I watch him. I don't want to miss his reaction. When he notices me staring, he smiles. "It really is the best view yet," he admits and I smile back, proud as if the view was my own creation. "I'd be disappointed to hear you say anything else," I tease, only half-joking. "If that is your favourite, you must have come here quite a few times, right?" he asks without acknowledging my answer, but with a smile tugging on his lips that makes me suspicious. "Yes?" "And how do you always get back from here?" Now he grins at me and points at the descends around us. I swallow. I forgot about that when I brought him here, the view was too good not to show him. "I take off my skis and walk until I think that I'll be able to manage it again," I mumble in my shawl as if that would make it less embarrassing. Marius tilts his head a little and looks from me to my skis to the descend in front of us. "I could try to help you if you'd want to try it with skis this time," he offers gently. I have no idea how anything less than manual breaks on my skis would ever help me, but there is a voice in my head that tells me to agree. Trying can't be more embarrassing than having to carry my skis down while he'll drive past me with utmost elegance. "And how do you imagine that would work?" I ask, biting my lip. He smiles when he realizes that I consider the offer. "I'll show you what to do and you'll copy it. And I can give you tips. It's not too steep and you can always sit down to stop." I take a deep breath and nod. "Alright, show me before I lose the courage." Or become aware of what I'm doing."Okay, first you leave one ski out of the track like this and you need to put pressure on that foot to stop. Start slow and keep testing if you can fully stop until you're sure that you won't go too fast." He slowly drives a few meters, then stops and turns around to me. I feel like a little child in a ski school, but I swallow my pride and follow. "Good, slower, don't hold the poles like that. Now try to stop." Somehow I manage to stop next to him without falling in the tracks. When I'm sure I've stopped and can look up to him he gives me a proud smile. "Very good. We'll keep going like that until we made it to the end of the hill." The end seems very far away, but after the first few meters have gone so well, I want to trust him. "You first again?" I say hopefully. He chuckles, but goes back into the tracks and drives a few meters again, now a little faster and again I try to copy him while he shouts corrections up to me. And again, I manage to stop next to him, radiating with pride, small as the accomplishment might be. "See? It's not that hard, is it?" "Keep going," I say and he laughs. Of course, I don't make it all the way without falling, but it's a slow fall, stopped by soft snow. My pride is the only thing that hurts a little afterwards. And still, I'm proud when I stop at the end of the hill next to Marius, and he high fives me because we made it down. "I can't believe I just did that," I say, no longer ashamed that I'm this happy about driving down what must be a very small hill to him. Because he never became impatient or made me feel like I should be ashamed of it. "You better believe it. And you better believe that we'll come back here to keep practicing," he says, but I shake my head. "I promise you that I'll keep practicing with Maja when you're gone, but I thought we could do something else next time. Really use the time we have here." He gives me a curious look. "What do you have in mind?" "What do you think about ice skating?" I ask with a grin, knowing that I'll be better at that than I am at skiing. "I can do that as well. Good idea," he says and smiles back. "At least there are no hills," he adds and I box his arm. "Don't make fun of me." "I wouldn't dream of it," he says, but the cheeky grin stays and I can't help but smile back. How could I be angry after he's just managed to get me down the hill with my favourite view?