Lost in You

Chapter 24

"I think you two need to talk and I need to go to bed," Maja says and gets up from the barstool. I look at her, want to take her wrist and pull her back on the stool. I don't want her to leave and I don't want to do what has to come after. But I know she's right. "It was nice to finally meet you," Marius says when Maja wishes us both good night. We watch her cross the lobby and enter the lift until we're left alone with the barkeeper and another guest, them wrapped up in a conversation with each other and paying no attention to us. "She's right, " I say and take long gulp of my cocktail for courage. This is the last night we have before he needs to leave again. "I don't see what we have to talk about," he says, watching me calmly. "We're going to stay in contact of course and plan when we can next see each other." He makes it sound so easy, so clear a plan. But I've talked this through with Maja more than once and I know it won't be that easy. "Until I'm back to Uni and you'll be back in Norway and the distance is going to be too long to see each for a weekend." He tilts his head a little. "I come to Germany for a weekend all the time." I sigh. "Because it's your job. Won't you have other things to do during the summer? Other competitions to go to? And I won't have Friday and Monday off either, there's an internship starting in summer and—" he holds up a hand. "You've really thought this through. You even looked up our schedules for summer. Is it because you want me to leave? Because you never meant to try to have this last?" He indicates the space between us while he talks. I take a deep breath. "Of course not. It's just, we've known each such a short time and while I really like you and I want to get to know you, I would imagine that the distance would make it rather hard to build a foundation to work with while we're separated," I say what Maja has already told me last night. At least this time he nods slowly, taking my words into consideration without plunging forward right away. It makes his next words have more worth than if they'd felt rushed. "I would still like to try if you are willing to. At least while I'm still travelling around here for the competitions we could text and call and maybe even see each other when I'm close." He pushes his hand over the counter towards me. An offer and a promise. I only hesitate for a heartbeat because Maja told me to not do this. To give in when we still don't have a better plan than before because then the whole conversation seems pointless. I put my hand on his. "I'd love to try. But I do already miss you when I only think of you being gone again." After the days we've spent together now. After I've almost gotten used to the thought of him being around. He smiles. "You don't need to miss me just yet. I was allowed an extra day here." I look up from our now entwined fingers. "You're not leaving tomorrow?" I sound half relieved and half angry at the thought that I could have pushed this conversation another day. He runs his thumb over my hand. "If you want me to. I needed to see how this conversation ends before I tell you about it." I squeeze his hand, so glad that I took it before. "Of course I want you to. I'll find a way to cut my work short to give us more time." I let out a breath. "I only wish you would have told me earlier," I say, feeling like I'm about to tumble off the chair and into his arms. "I wanted it to be a surprise, but only if I could be sure that you'd want the surprise." He leans forward and kisses me, his hands on my waist to steady me on the chair. I hold onto him like I'm drowning. "And no pressure for tomorrow. We can take a walk if that is all we can think of. We'll have a lot more days together," he says when he straightens again. I take a sip of my cocktail in an effort to stop my head from spinning. "It sounds too good to be true," I say finally and he grins. "You'll see how true it is soon enough." Again, a promise even if he somehow makes it sound like a threat. I smile back at him. "I'm glad we had this talk," I say and mean it. As much as I dreaded it, I am glad that we're done now. That we have something like a plan and another day together tomorrow. I finish my drink and get up, pulling him towards me. "The faster we sleep now, the faster we'll have tomorrow," I say and kiss him again, my heart skipping a beat at the thought of it all. That we're really trying to stay together. That tomorrow won't be the end of a short-lived winter romance that I fell way too deep into already. For once, I look forward to getting to my room and being bombarded with Maja's questions because I feel that I might explode with feelings if I don't have anyone to talk about while I try to stay cool when we enter the lift, him never letting go of my waist. When I watch us in the mirror, I have a short flashback of how I entered this lift for the first time with Maja a month ago and was so innocent about what this job would give me.