Lost in You

Chapter 41

When we get to the competition in time the next day, for once it's thanks to me pushing Maja to hurry up and go. The sun is shining from a clear blue sky, the snow glitters all around us and we could have done a nice ski tour as well, but Maja was easy to give in when I suggested we see the competition instead. "I take it that everything is going well, seeing as you came back to our room late last night and now we're here," Maja says and leans against the metal barricade. "It does," I say, not ready to tell that Marius and I still haven't made a plan for when he's leaving again. Tonight. For now, we'll enjoy the competition. It doesn't take as long as I did last year for me to hear his name and a moment after watching his jump. When he comes towards us, he stumbles a little. "I thought you weren't watching anymore," he says when he reaches us. I smile and shrug. " I might have changed my mind." "You seem to have come just at the right time," he says and when he smiles at me, I feel like we're back in the last year. He looks better, some of the tiredness has left his eyes and I feel as nervous as ever standing in the crowd while talking to him. "This was better then?" I ask and catch Maja rolling her eyes, making it clear that the answer is obvious. "It felt a lot better. We'll have to wait for the second round though," he says. "Then you should better go up again. I'll be here when you come back down," I say. "I'll be looking for you," he says before leaving. Maja moans and nudges my shoulder. "This is not going to end well, is it?" "It is. In fact it's going to be a lot better than last year because we've learned from our mistakes," I say with full conviction that I don't have. Maja giggles. "Sure. That's what it looked like.""Shouldn't I get us something to drink?" I ask to change the topic, but Maja grabs my arm when I'm already about to turn away from her. "We can wait for the break. It's only five more jumpers and in contrast to you, I'm interested in all of the jumps," she says. "I'm interested as well," I protest and lean against the barricade again. "Sure. You haven't been watching until I dragged you to the qualification yesterday," Maja teases, but I only roll my eyes and really focus on the end of the first round, not telling her that all through the break and the second round, I only wait for one person. "Not that I'd want to make this bigger than it is, but do you think him being that good today has anything to do with you?" Maja asks and sips her mulled wine while we watch the winner's ceremony where Marius came third. "I wouldn't know. As you pointed out, I have nothing to compare today to this season," I say. "You'll still talk tonight, though, won't you?" And I nod, fully intending to do just that, because I can already feel it hurting again. Not knowing what we'll do next because nothing has changed from last year. But when he comes past us and gives me a swift kiss and the promise to take me out as soon as he's changed and packed his bags, it might still hurt, but it hurts so good I don't want to stop. Maja and I spend some more time in the arena, taking pictures of each other and drinking some more until I get the text that he's ready and Maja goes home against my protests. I tell her that she can come with us, that I can at least walk back to the hotel with her, but she only says that we need to talk and leaves. My protests are dying when I see him walking towards me, a crooked smile on his lips and I stop thinking. I run towards him, into his open arms, eventhough he makes a surprised sound when I hug him. I might have surprised us both with my action. "Maja already left?" he mumbles against my hair. "Yes. I wanted to stop her, but she said we needed to talk alone," I say. "She might be right," he says. I only nod against his shoulder, unwilling to let him go just yet and face reality.