CHAPTER 1: When the Wind Blows the Strongest

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It was a fine, sunny morning. I remember her hands wrapped tightly unto mine while we are walking in a slow pace at the middle of the flower field. Naaalala ko ang amoy ng mga bulaklak na tila nagbibigay kaginhawaan sa aking dibdib at ang iba't ibang kulay ng mga paru-paro na nagliliparan. I remember her smile and her eyes that are wondering somewhere beyond that place at that moment. I remember how her dress dances along with the wind. I remember how her dark black long curly hair flows softly like a waterfall. That moment was breathtaking and close to perfect.

I remember how she caressed my small round face and whispered, "All things come and go, all things come and flow. Every people will come and pass, every encounter are treasured at must".

"Sinabi ng mom mo iyon?" tanong sa akin ni Nikka. Tumango ako ng mahina. "Yes, that was the most unforgettable words that she said to me" I look at her and she tap my shoulders. Kasalukuyan kaming nakaupo sa waiting bench sa tapat ng consultation room ng isang private hospital.

"Miss Abbi Gayle Santiago?" Nikka hold my hand ng tinawag ako ng nurse and giving me a sign na pumasok sa consultation room. "You are going to be alright Gayle, trust me!" Nikka's reassuring words fuel me to stand up and slowly walk towards the door. Lumingon ako muli sa kaniya and she just let out a comforting smile before I walk inside the room.

Nakaupo ang doctor sa kaniyang desk. Nakatingin siya sa kaniyang computer at tumingin sa akin when he notice my presence. He give me a sign na umupo kaya agad akong umupo at naghintay sa pagbuka ng kaniyang mga bibig. "Miss Gayle, when did you start feeling this symptoms?" He wasn't looking at me while throwing me that question imbis nakatingin siya sa mga papel sa kaniyang desk at parang nagda-data analysis ng pakiramdam ko.

"I am doing very well for the past years, I mean also for the past months. Napansin ko lang na madali na akong mapagod and chest pain for the past few days" I responded to the doctor. He stop checking at my papers at tumingin sa akin ng deretso. He crosses his fingers from his left hand to his right hand and let out a deep sigh.

"I'm very sorry to tell you this Miss Gayle. According to the laboratory results and my analysis, you have a hole in your heart" My eyes are fixed into him. Hindi siya gumalaw at kasulukuyang naghihintay kung ano ang reaksiyon ko o kaya ano ang sasabihin ko pabalik sa kaniya. My whole body feels numb at parang nadrain lahat ng energy ko sa katawan. I am still looking at him without any reaction in my face and my lips are too dry to open up.

"We can still find some ways and heart surgery will be an option but it will be your choice" He said while moving his chair away from his desk. I bit my lower lip and try to move my hands and feet. Even though all of my whole body start to break into pieces, I still tried to compose myself. "Paano kapag hindi ako mag-undergo ng kahit anong surgery?" I bravely asked him. Tumingin siya sa akin and our eyes meet.

"I'm sorry Miss Gayle, if that's the case you will need to start marking your calendar because you will probably be able to live for 3 to 4 months, 5 months if you're lucky and a year if there's somewhat a miracle" Tumayo siya at dahan-dahang lumapit sa akin. He slowly put his hands on my left shoulder and tap it. I didn't even move a finger. I was emotionless yet I am quite uncertain kung ano ang gagawin ko. I have a lot of things in mind pero para akong nablanko. I can't say anything or react to his words. Suddenly, being in that room, thinking about sitting in the consultation chair slowly makes me feel suffocating. I slowly push myself up and bow my head in front of the doctor.

"Thank you for your work Doc" Pagkatapos kong magpasalamat sa kaniya ay isinabit ko sa aking balikat ang shoulder bag at lumabas sa consultation room. Pagkalabas ko ay agad na tumayo si Nikka at sinalubong ako. "How was it Gayle?" I look at Nikka. Gusto kong sabihin sa kaniya na hindi ako sigurado sa nararamdaman ko. I can't organize my thoughts and I am in denial of the fact that I heard. I am dying.

Autumn of MayTahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon