Nights in the Studio - Taejoon

5

Taehyung's POV

"Fuck..."

Are we actually doing this?

We certainly are

"Aghh..fuck..."

He will be here any minute

Do I feel like I care?

"Fuck....aaghh"

My hand slides up and down in my dick as I sit straight in my chair. I'm in the studio that thank god is soundproof. I don't know where it came from, but I went from writing lyrics to then think about Joon to then imagining him biting my pencil in the sofa right beside me and the, I was with my hands inside my pants, trying to figure out how would I like to be licked by him.

I'm disgusting

No, you're horny

"Aghh...don't stop...ahhgg...joon-"

No! You can't make me say his name for fuck's sake!

But you want to, besides the room is soundproof, you said it yourself...

Yeah, but the door-

It's closed...

"Ahgg..ahh.. "

The motion starts to go faster, and I clinch in my place and bite my lip as I let the dark moans invade my face covered in sweat, imagining those full lips licking me slowly from the tip to the bottom, smiling at my lost face.

Just say it

My hand goes even faster, imagining his tongue tasting me, his hands in my waist making him go deeper; my hands squeeze the couch as my mouth opens wide.

"NAMJOON!"

I cum in my hand, recovering my breath as I try to fix my posture; I look around finding my computer, the notebook with the unfinished song and myself in a mirror I have close, I am a total mess: hair everywhere, my left hand inside my pants, my dick covered in cum, red as my cheeks and my mouth watering.

The ectasis soon turns into disgust when I realize the mess I just made, and that I haven't really written anything for the song.

It was worth it

No, it wasn't. he is going to come help me, and I can't just show him nothing of what I have, I don't want him to pity my poor writing. I have to at least find a way to get to the chorus, but before, I have to clean myself. Good thing this isn't the first time this happens, and I already brought a box of tissues to erase my pleasure.

You are no fun

You are the one who ruins it all, thank god no one ever comes to my studio, otherwise I would be so fucked up.

I clean everything the best I can while thinking about what I just did. I came, with his name. Is the first time I do it, I usually just have his face or my fantasies and feeling to be enough to cum, but now...what is happening to me?

You like him

Yes, him. But I, don't know...is that enough to...?

What? Be gay?

Am...I gay?

Of course not

Really?

Yeah, you're as straight as a circle.

I'm being serious here!

Me to! You jerk off to a man, you've been in love with him for years, you kissed a boy and the only thing you could think is how it would feel to kiss Him...

But that doesn't mean anything

What other proof do you need!?

Another one, at this point this probably just means that I like Joon but who knows, maybe I'm bisexual or something.

You have never liked a girl

And? That doesn't mean that I can't like them. And even if I didn't, we both know this feeling is ridiculous.

Oh, come on...

No, seriously I mean, Joon doesn't even like me and I...

You?

I stop cleaning for a moment and sit down in silence.

What if this is just because we have been together for a long time? What if what I feel is not even real?

What's your point?

That maybe, just because I have been with him since I was young, lonely, and stressed, I made this in my mind and-

Tae, you like him.

But how though?

You don't need a reason to like someone

But I-

A knock in the door wakes me up as I move erratic trying to hide the tissues and close my pants, looking as normal as I possibly can. Then I reach to the door. Shit.

"Hey." he says before leaning in my frame door looking at me blankly.

"Hi." I reply, sounding stupidly nervous as always.

"So, you ready?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in a bit." he nods and starts to walking out. I close the door, slowly sitting in the floor and catching my breath. This is too much, I feel my chest bursting in tears, pounding as a drum, making me want to be desired by him, but why?

I told you, you like him.

I stand up and take my notes to walk out the room, slowly and tender with every motion, I glance at the mirror one last time before turning the light off.