Nights in the Studio - Taejoon

33

Namjoon's POV

One night three years ago

"Don't you think is scary?" The boy next to me asked with a trembling voice, I turned to look at him.

"What?"

"Seoul." He took another sip of his juice.

"Why would it be scary? It's just a city." I said with an obvious tone but the boy next to me just knew how to smile, then to face me.

"We've been living here for five years now...I don't even remember any home before this now," I stared into his eyes and saw a clear sign of nostalgia, I gifted him a little nod.

"Well, I guess everyone feels like that; but still, we long for family back home." I smiled.

"What do you miss the most, about normal life?" The question came by surprise and I had to take a moment to think, after some minutes I was sure of my reply.

"Ice cream mornings." The blonde boy next to me rised an eyebrow and I laughed "I used to go with my parents for ice cream back in high school in the Saturday mornings. I liked it because everything seemed quiet and even in winter, ice cream has always been the best." I explained with a huge smile remembering how I used to laugh and talk with my mom and my sister.

"That sounds fun." He replied, trying not to show his sadness but still letting it drip from his words.

"And you?" I asked, he stared straight for a moment and after taking another sip he answered with a gloomy tone.

"The nights," His voice faded in the heavy air around us "when I wasn't tired from practicing." he laughed at the end and I do so too.

What was next was a comfortable silence in which I almost finished the glass of water in my hand, just looking around. The city sure was calmed...it reminded me of a sea.

"Honestly I can't tell if I love it or hate it." The boy suddenly blurted out and I knew he was talking not only about Seoul but about everything.

"Sometimes they're the same thing." I responded, he turned to me again with a serious face.

"That's why you still can't sleep before staring at Taehyung?" The question shook me, I felt electricity going through my body "I saw you the other day I stayed to sleep with him. And the night after, and one more after that..."

"Perhaps." I replied trying to keep my face straight.

"I won't tell him, by the way" He said and I felt a relief "it's not my place to get into that..."

"Thanks." I answered bitter.

After a moment of silence, he dared to speak again.

"You should write a song," He gave me a reassured smile "about your ice cream nights" I giggled out loud.

"It's better to keep some things for me, those are good memories I don't need the world to have,"

"Sorry, I thought it would be useful for your mixtape, you're writing it aren't you?" I nodded "so, why not add some of that memories?" I looked at his young face and felt a warm inside me.

"There's some things I don't like a song to be about," I replied and felt his disappointed face, I figured he was feeling bad about his idea so I decided to cheer him up "but your whole dilemma with Seoul is interesting, song-worthy." His face lighted when he looked up to face me.

"Really?"

"Sure." I smiled at him, showing my dimples.

"I wish I was like you, you make writing songs seem so easy..."

"I learned to dance, you'll learn to compose." I said firmly and he giggled.

There was another calmed silence and the air started hitting, so we walked inside the house again, closing the balcony's door.

"Why are you awake at three am anyway?" I asked curious once we were in the living room and he frowned.

"Why are you awake at three am?" He asked mischievously.

"Okay, I get it."

"Just kiddin'," he laughed at my face "I guess I missed home," he answered.

"That's why you started with this whole 'scary' situation?" I asked and he nodded.

"Home is the thing that scares me actually, 'cause it was...such a nightmare. It's surreal that living with complete strangers turned out to be better." I stayed in shock from his words as it was the first time I felt I was having some serious talk with the boy with an eye smile.

"But you decided to leave because you wanted an artistic career, didn't you?" He snorted a sad giggle.

"I like to believe that, but I'm not fooling anyone..." I felt nervous by his sudden change of mood but didn't hesitate "can I be honest with you? Just for a while?"

"Sure." He sighed.

"Sometimes I'd rather be death than loved."

"Don't we all?" I replied and he turned to me, I caressed his back.

"People hurt me, back home. I don't want that to happen now that I feel like I have a family again."

"It won't, because this time we were the ones choosing to be your family." I tried to sound sure but ended up sounding like a little kid talking to a lost puppy, which wasn't really that different from reality.

"I'd like us to be friends for a long time. But I don't know if that's possible." I rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Of course we will, Jimin."