Nights in the Studio - Taejoon

38

Taehyung's POV

The heat in my chest increased as the car approached our house, with almost tears that I forced to hide under my eyelids, I had my clenched fist embedded in my chin. I was unable to comprehend the heavy regret inside me, almost like a bad omen of some dangerous poison.

This had been too much, I knew the moment I got out of the car without looking back even though I heard someone call my name; It didn't matter, it was just me at that moment with my alert steps running to the door of the house, each word ready in my throat to come out at the slightest guttural reflex.

I put the password, listening to footsteps that followed me by the neck from the corridor. I entered in one fell swoop, resisting the urge to let myself run from my heart to my stomach, all those memories and questions you never asked that ceased to make sense at the slightest provocation of their mention.

The silence as I looked up to find Jin, looking from the doorway of his room with a suitcase in his hands, then Hoseok in the living room looking out of his phone bubble, and finally Jimin leaning on the doctor's back. A woman with long hair, a doctor who looked like he had been distracted cutting something in the kitchen before I burst in. I stared at the figures of her together for a moment, something sticky attached my tongue to my palate.

It was unconsciousness that made me break through the dismayed looks until I was in front of the one who I had spent everything with; he separated from the doctor and looked at me questioningly.

"Baby, I didn't expect you to be so early. Tell me how..."

A slap from my hand shuts him up in one fell swoop. Jimin moves back touching his cheek, I feel how the others get closer and the doctor covers his mouth with both hands, as if thinking that it will be enough to erase any trace of his existence in the room.

An imminent silence, his gaze that remains fixed on the floor while my breaths quicken with each moment. No one asks anything, no one has a reason: I have a feeling that everyone knows what has been happening, everyone knows how much they hurt me and suddenly I realize that no one has done anything; a willful betrayal.

"How long will we go on like this?" I dare to ask, expecting the obvious to come out of his mouth in the purest way imaginable. Jimin still doesn't look at me, and the doctor barely moves to lightly tap my shoulder and ask me to calm down, but I immediately pull away and glare at him, hoping he knows he's anything but welcomed right now.

"I better go." He says, and I want to tell him that I should never go back, because I don't want him to make anyone here happy, I couldn't afford it; but Jimin grabs him wrist and looks up for the first time, but it's not towards me but him.

"You don't have to." Jimin says softly, however I turn around in exasperation and let out an incredulous gasp, then a small guttural scream that intensifies more and more to the point where I can't take anything anymore of what is happening and I pounce on Jimin, holding him by the neck I start to cry. It's all that corrodes me inside, I want to hide my face in some warm chest but suddenly I wake up alone.

This shouldn't end like this.

"How long... more of this? If I don't want you to be here anymore..." I whispered, hoping he would hear me "I want you to die..."

The sound of a body in the doorway gasping for breath makes me collapse in tension, then hands grab my shoulders and slowly pull me away. I don't have to turn around to know it's Yoongi, and I don't have to wipe the smudged tears from my eyes to recognize that the doctor only gave him a glance before leaving.

The door closes, and I want to get out of my Hyung's grasp, I see the boy in front of me. I want to break him in all the ways he has done to me. I want to make him happy and then spit on him, I want to make him feel without more options, that his body is not his, and still tell him that I love him because he is beautiful and only mine. I want to do everything to him that he did to me so that he feels the same way, to bury him alive.