Nights in the Studio - Taejoon

6

Namjoon's POV

Taehyung walks into the studio a couple of minutes later, not knocking as usual, only to stand in the doorway. I watch him from my chair up and down, memorizing the details of him.

"New shirt?" He scratches the wrist of his right hand where he has a couple of notes.

"Yes." 

"It looks good on you," I notice him in the half-open neck. I have to make this as conmfortable as possible, not just for him but for me "well then, let's get started." He nods and walks over to a nearby chair next to mine. He moves closer and leaves his papers on the table. "So...what exactly is it? the title track?"

"No, that's done" I lean in and take the notes from him looking slowly.

Taehyung's mixtape has been a year in the making, apparently Bang PD and the executives agreed to allow it and it's supposed to be the first of the entire vocal line. It's fun, the concept is soft and romantic, songs in jazz and R&B tones very much in the Tae style; however I know it has been difficult for him: I expected that the one who would debut first would be Jungkook, since he had more songs but they had no question, and when it was decided that it would be him I really had no idea what to do. I remember that he was locked up for a long time only, since by the time this started he and I had already... distanced ourselves...

There are 5 songs in total: dream, winter, scenary, here, and midnight cuddles.

"It's in the chorus of midnight cuddles, I can't get to the choir," he tells me with his hands in his lap, resigned. I observe the writings in more detail until I come across the sheet of his notes.

"The fucking love I keep for you is..." 

"Everything I have." I look into his eyes and he clears his throat "I want it to sound better." 

"Okay," I look back at the desk and pick up a pencil "so to begin with, why don't you tell me what it's about" he looks at his hands and then at me, as if he expected me to read his mind so he wouldn't have to say a word .

"I don't know how to explian it" he begins "You should read the rest of the lyrics..." I nod and look at the paper ready to start.

What is this...?

I stop with a sigh and look next to me at the calm-eyed boy who wanders his eyes around him, as if it's the first time he's come and he's amazed at all my belongings. Tender, he doesn't know that he is one of them. "Well," I interrupt his wondering "it's... good-"

"Lie," he spits "I can not make it sound good." 

"Can you show me the melody?" He gets up and goes to the piano, taking the chair. When he finally arrives, he waits a minute before beginning to play notes on the piano, sweet and calm, a melancholic and dreamy melody: beautiful. I watch him closely feeling every note deep inside me.

"Sing it" he stops and turns. "What?"

"I want to hear you sing it." he blushes a little and I remember his cheeks and my lips. "Fine..." he clears his troath before starting:

"In the middle of the night thinking of you, Love, will you also think of me? In the time we kept without knowing. The last day to be here, next to me.

Because it's been so long and stil, the fucking love I keep for you is the only thing I have, that I breathe, that I touch and that I dream..."

His voice is deep and sad, his breaths return to the warm room as he struggles to play and sing at the same time; his pronunciation makes me get closer and closer until I'm next to him, where I look at him without him noticing.

"...Instead of your body, your cloak and your gestures; you keep me awake, so close of your eyes full of stars, in that which was our moon."

It is us...

Suddenly a key clicks wrong and he stops, laughing nervously.

"Sorry, Jin Hyung taught me but I lack practice-" he turns his head towards me, meeting my half-closed eyes, mesmerized by the nuances of his lips, in a swing of sweetness and... desire? "Namjoon..." he whispers and I bring my hands to his cheeks, causing a slight start, and then caress them with my fingertips, appreciating his smooth and flushed skin.

What am I doing?

Suddenly he gets up and tries to leave but an unlikely reaction to my need to stay sane makes me grab him by the waist and carry him between my right knee, he doesn't put up any resistance as he stares into my eyes, lips parted. With my hands I pull him down until he ends up sitting on my knee, with one leg on each side of me; I move to accommodate him and he groans a little, I look and realize that he rubbed his crotch: he has not complained of pain but of... pleasure.

I pull him closer to me and he puts his hands around my neck. "Namjoon, what are you doing?" 

"Jimin."

"What?"

"You kissed Jimin." he stays still and holds his breath "Why?" 

"I don't understand you." 

"Fuck, Tae..." I command, squeezing him harder "since when?!"

"What?!" He groans in pain as I feel his skin getting hotter and hotter, that's going to left a mark. But I don't care.

"Jimin and you..." his eyes crystallize and he joins me more, now our pelvises are united on the clothes, and I can't stand it anymore "since when?" I whisper into his neck and he gasps slowly.

"I...I'm not with him...."

"Really? You are not lying to me?" He growls like a child and tries to remove me, leaving our foreheads together.

"Why do you care?!" His caramel eyes beg and I can't take it anymore: Fuck Jimin. Fuck having this on my chest any longer; it took me too long to realize and  now I have to say it; there's no way not to. I can't recognize me anymore, he has always been this naive, so distracted, but is not his fault I never thought I would feel, what I feel its just, I have never called for what it is...

Until now.

"Because I love you."