Nights in the Studio - Taejoon

24

Namjoon's POV

I had to grow up too fast, too lost.

My dream demanded that I dedicate myself fully to spilling blood on the keys, in every arrangement, note, word. It was a way of escaping from reality...that is, until it became the entirety of it.

My parents used to say that having a dream is only valid when you give something to get it and only when it means that you will be happy forever. Maybe that's why I had to go against them for so many years, until they understood what I meant through the midnight compositions.

I fell in love many times, but never with something as close, as lasting, or as fragile as my dream. It is the only thing that maintains the line of survival between the permitted and the divine; correcting myself. But it cannot imply everything.

My dream is just a part of myself, and for this reason, contrary to what I would like to think, I have the need to look, outside of it, for what I really am. Years ago that meant leaving my home, my family, my name, and my freedom.

Sometimes I feel like I walk numb, that nothing is real. It scares me to see the transparency of the human for so long, because I feel that I will lose myself. It's hard when you depend on your dream to continue living, that's why I tend to make bad decisions regarding the limits of the person I project.

I don't know who I really am, maybe I never will. But all I know is that I'm never complete without him, the one I love.

"KIM NAAAAAMJOOOON!!!" A scream brings me to my feet, gasping for breath, I touch my head and groan. I feel like I've dreamed something...something important, something I didn't want to forget, but I don't know what it's supposed to be... "NAAAAAAAAAAAMJOOOOOOON!!" Jin's annoying voice pierces my hatred.

"Why the hell do you have to yell at this hour?" I say to myself as I straighten my pajamas and walk angrily to the door; my face still swollen from sleep "JIN I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU SHOUT ONE MORE TIME-" I walk into the kitchen only to see Jin and Taehyung alone at the stove.

Jin seems to be cooking while Tae doesn't stop letting out small laughs around our Hyung's actions until he turns to see me, then he drops his things and runs to me... and hugs me.

He hugs me as if he were a child, with spectacular strength. I look at Jin with a question mark face, but he only sees the scene as he takes a sip from his cup of what I imagine to be coffee. Then Taehyung pulls away and looks at me, and before I can answer he gets close to my face and gives me a peck on the lips.

I can't help but blush and stare at his smiley face. I start to shake.

"Good morning Joonie."

"Taehyung, what are you doing...?"

"Did it bother you?" I shake my head in desperation and exchange my gaze between him and Jin non-stop, Taehyung starts laughing.

"There's no one at home Namjoon...everyone is out rehearsing for the comeback." Jin explains. Taehyung doesn't wait for my answer and takes my hand, I don't miss all his moves as he drags me to the dining table in front of them.

"So, what are you doing here, Jin?" I ask. He pours the contents of the pan onto a plate and gives me a smile; Taehyung goes to the coffee maker to pour a new cup.

"Because you were locked up and someone needed to stay with Taetae." I'm about to ask why they didn't leave us alone then but then I remember Jimin... of course, he would never allow it.

Especially not after last night

"We have the day to ourselves, aren't you happy Joonie?" Tae suddenly says as he puts a plate of rice and my hot cup in front of me, I sigh.