𝖮𝖴𝖱 𝖫𝖮𝖵𝖤 𝖲𝖤𝖱𝖨𝖤𝖲 #2
She was addicted to a type of sadness that pulled her deeper into her hole. She changed herself because of her hanging past. He avoided the dark parts of his life, doesn't mean the darkness didn't loom over him.
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BRIANNA
I walked outside to Jaxon and Katherine cuddling by the sun loungers. It was awfully cold but they had each other. When Hailey saw me she stood up quick and hid behind Amara. I have more pressing matter than Hailey and her drama.
I walk past them and sit by the pool. I dunk my feet under the freezing water, every drop of then ice water chilling my body. I twirled them around in the water, thinking to myself.
I enjoyed every bit of him, I won't deny that but I made myself believe that he was to be hated. He hated me so much for being something I'm not and making everyone believe the act. I had to change, I had my reason. He hated me for doing that, he despised the person I had become.
He didn't hate the parts of me that I hate. He made me embrace them. The scorching hatred, the thirst for bad blood, the inflating ego that could never be stopped. I was a hateful child growing up, a part of me I would love to erase. It was the reason my father couldn't stay. I had to hide it. I wanted to get better but I made myself worse. He helped me see that those parts of me would always be me, no matter how many ounces of drugs I take.
That is a huge part of me I couldn't shut off and he saw it. He hated it out of me and now, he wants me. I knw he does. I can feel it and sometimes catch him staring too hard for someone who just hates me.
But I wanted him to hate me. It was easier. I couldn't trust him after everything he said to me but I didn't not feel anything at all so I just wanted to release all my frustration. I used him and I felt great using him. He used me and it felt great to be used, by him. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep playing a war in my head. This needs to end now and I will end it.
"Are you okay?" Katy asked in her gentle voice. I stood up from the poolside and shook my head yes. She opened her arms and I slid into her hug.
"You defended yourself greatly, I'm proud of you." Her sweet murmurs in my ears just meant nothing. I was not even close to done with the queen.
Her crown looked very loose.
Katy and I walk with her arm around my shoulder back to everyone. Hailey jumps up with her arms crossed her body. Katy sat down next to Jaxon and pulled me down with her. Hailey also sat down and took the opportunity to sit closer to him.
Despite the bitter feeling in my mouth, I didn't care.
"Brianna, I'm sorry." Hailey mumbled. Amara nudged her arm and scowled back at her. "I'm sorry for bringing it up even though it wasn't my place to do so."
"Okay."
I didn't accept nor deny her forgiveness.
"Lets all forget it and just enjoy the rest of the evening." Jaxon proposed.
"Aren't you going to apologize?" Hailey quipped. My head snaps up with my eyebrows.
"For what?"
"You almost tore my hair out and physically assualted me." She complained with a hand pressing her red cheek.
