𝖮𝖴𝖱 𝖫𝖮𝖵𝖤 𝖲𝖤𝖱𝖨𝖤𝖲 #2
She was addicted to a type of sadness that pulled her deeper into her hole. She changed herself because of her hanging past. He avoided the dark parts of his life, doesn't mean the darkness didn't loom over him.
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BRIANNA
Maybe I always think the worst of myself and try to change it. I shouldn't but I always do. One bad thing about me and I get the urge to change myself.
I was never addicted to pain but when I realized that I should look like I just lost my father, I wanted to feel it. I wanted to feel every painful emotion.
I hadn't made it known, it was for my own painful gain.
My demise, something or someone that gives me all the pain I can get. Makes me escape all my problems by solving the one I always have. Maybe temporarily but it still gets satisfied.
Drugs give me all the pain I can ask for but it doesn't feel as deep. I want to feel the deep knowing pain in my chest, my life must crash down and I lose myself. Drugs give me a hollow pain that can ease up in two minutes I'd I don't enjoy it.
With my mom on supervision watch, I can't do it. As Katy and Ryan sit down for our meeting after school, I still can't do it. Katy knows the difference between clean and using. Ryan knows when I'm thinking about it, like now.
He's staring at me while Katy orders for us. He raises an eyebrow at me, an accusing eyebrow. He knows when I dwell on topics such as the one I'm thinking of now.
"So, what's happening with you?" Katy asks with a bright smile on her face. It's contradicting to the smile she had when we exited the gymnasium.
"What was that all about?" She drawled out. I rolled my eyes and opened my locker.
"Nothing, Katy. He's just a dick, and not a very big one at that." I insult remembering our conversation about this.
"You have a thing with the Isaac Carter, captain of the basketball team, and you say nothing!" She squealed.
"You have to be fucking kidding me." I slam my locker shut after getting my books. "I don't like this guy, I actually find him very irritating and a nuisance."
"Sure." She nods with a sly smile that tells me that she doesn't believe me.
"I just missed you two. It's been a crazy couple of days over at the manor."
Ryan has this crazy rich plot of land where his mother built majority of the property on there. One of out six manors is occupied by his driver.
"Justin can never keep his pants zipped up." He comments with an eye roll and we both snicker at him.
Ryan is good at easing tension out. That's what I like most about him. As I wrapped my hands around my hot chocolate with two marshmallows on top, I listen in to Ryan and the drama going on in his house. The faux fur on my boots begins to itch against my stockings so I bend down a little bit to scratch it.
